10-12 month development check - feeling a bit affronted!

[buddy79]

Ds2 had his check a few days ago, he is nearly 10 months. The HV told me that because he had some “not yet” scores in gross motor skills and communication sections that he is “technically delayed” in these areas. ie he is crawling well but not yet standing, he repeats sounds but no discernible words yet. I am a bit flabbergasted to be honest as DS1 was waaay slower than this in his gross motor and everyone was desperate to reassure me how normal it was!!! She asked me if I gave DS2 an instruction, ie “come here DS!” would he follow it? I thought to be honest not on your nelly (!), but we tried it and lo and behold he turned and looked at me but just carried on playing. What would most 10 month olds do?!
To be fair she was very nice about it and said to just do the questionnaire again in a few weeks and check he’s progressed, but the whole thing has made me really doubt myself and my parenting and I feel quite upset about it! Has anyone else experienced this? I’m in a bit of a panic.

I wouldn’t be affronted but this is surely a progress check more aimed at 12 month olds? My DS, who is very able, could only stand at the sofa at 10 months. There is now way he could have come to me if I’d asked him, he crawled later and then walk very soon after that.

In our area its a 9-12 months check, and DD2 had it literally 2 days after turning 9 months. I felt the same, the health visitor seemed really surprised she couldn't do some things yet - like, "Are you sure? Not even if you... Etc etc?"

I came away feeling fairly rubbish, but lo and behold it was only days/weeks before she started doing them - it's absolutely fine!

It sounds like a ridiculous check list to be honest. All children develop at different rates anyway. I don't think many 10 month old would come when called they are not like dogs!
I wouldn't worry about it all.

My son didn't crawl for ages - he rolled. He didn't walk independently till 18 months. I don't think anyone was particularly concerned though. He's 16 now and is training to be in the fitness industry and works out up to three times a day: running, weights and spin or Hiit class. So guess the slow to walk thing didn't really matter anyway.
You can train your kid to do things early - like say the alphabet and count - but it doesn't matter at all in the long run.

Ha, my DD is 12 months and wouldn't come if I called her! Unless I had food I take these things with a pinch of salt tbh, particularly when they're done at the young age of the range. My DD was a bit slower with gross motor stuff but then did everything at once (crawling, pulling to stand and cruising) in the space of about a week and is now exactly where the rest of her peers are. Just nod and smile.

My DS scored 0 on the problem solving section. My friend is a health visitor and hung out with him for an hour at the weekend- she said he’s perfect, just focussing on doing what he wants (mainly trying to lick plug sockets).

My health visitor was horrible, I felt like she had issues with me and did DD at 9 months without being clear what it actually was. (I was very tired).

When it clicked what it was I got hold of a new form and re did it when DD was one and corrected her comments in the red book. It made me feel better about it!!

Three months is such a long time at that age they should narrow it down a bit.

You can get the questionnaires they use here:

steeplechasepedi.com/patient-corner/forms/ages-stages-questionnaires/

At 9/10 months, he shouldn't be getting the 12 month one. So have a look at the one for his actual
age, tot up the scores and you'll probably find he's fine.

We had the 10-12 month development check the day DS turned 10 months, and the HV seemed surprised that he couldn’t do every single thing listed. For example he could pull to standing but couldn’t yet bend down and pick something up off the floor and return to standing. He was cruising along furniture but couldn’t walk holding just one of my hands.
She asked if I wanted to make a ‘follow up’ appointment for 6 weeks time which I politely declined. She said ‘oh, are you not worried then?’ I said no.
Lo and behold, 4 weeks later he could do all of the things that he couldn’t do at the appointment.
He’s my third so I had no concerns whatsoever. Both DD’s had ‘passed’ all areas but had their checks closer to 12 months.
He’s 13 months now and still rarely comes when he’s called! He’s over like a flash if I say ‘bring me the TV remote and I’ll put Peppa Pig on though

At my DD's 10 month check, she had only started crawling the day before and scored poorly on gross motor. Thankfully the HV wasn't concerned. DD ended up walking at 13 months, and now at 18 months can jump, spin round, climb up stairs etc. She also only started saying words at 16/17 months, and had a burst of them only recently! Now she's older, it has made me realise that some of the questionnaire is a bit ridiculous!

Thanks all that makes me feel a bit better. I’m probably being over sensitive and I think it’s just tapped into the guilt I already feel about not being as full on with activities etc as I could be when I only had DS1 to worry about! I will have a look at the questionnaires too. Thanks for the reassurance, and I’m also sorry for those who had horrible experiences. The HV was very nice and just doing her job but it’s hard not to feel a bit criticised isn’t it!