when is the appropriate age for a child to be left alone briefly?

[PeppyPiggy]

I'm asking because it's stormy weather outside and DD said she didn't want to go to the shop, my first thought was "okay, I'll be back in a second" just because she seems so mature, but I'm not going to do that... I feel sure that she is too young for this yet so I will drag her out with me in a minute. The shop is a Sainsburys literally directly opposite us, I can look out the window and see the offers on shelf (Chocolate Leibniz for £1... I can see this from my living room window that's how close we are). Sometimes when she is asleep at night and I realise I need something I find it frustrating that I'm looking right inside the shop yet am anchored into my house. I'm single, so no OH to stay in while I pop out, I have a friend over if I need to go out at all in the evenings or ask a mate to bring bits.

So when would be an appropriate age for a child to be left alone while mum pops into the shop across the road? I'm guessing like 8/9/10? What do you think?

When they can respond safely to an emergency that may occur. So more a maturity thing than an age thing.

We left the oldest home alone from about 9 for a quick dash out. Now at 11 it's home from school alone for a few hours.
Haven't left the youngest (10)home alone yet although I would just not them both together.
All depends on the child though I suppose.

How old is she? I've left my 8 year old DS for 5 mins when doing the nursery run when he was ill.

How old is she now? My sensible 10 year old stays at home for around half an hour on his own. In your case though, I’d be fine with literally hoping across the road from a much younger age but I’m not sure exactly what that age would be! I guess it depends on your area too.

Get a walkie talkie 😁

10?

Depends on a whole wealth of factors.

I'd say 10 or 11 for half an hour or so?

she's not ready, her maturity throws me off sometimes but she's only six and she's not able to deal with emergencies etc.

not six
probably 10

I wouldn't do this until secondary school - so 11 years old.

Maybe around 10 for popping over the road for 5 minutes. A bit longer at around 12. Obviously only if they're sensible enough. At 6 she definitely wouldn't be getting a choice about whether or not she comes with me.

It's partly a cultural thing I think. Six seems way too young but other cultures would leave a four year old. There is no right or wrong. Statistically they are probably safer home alone than getting into a car but I still haven't left my 10 yr old...

In fact today I had an issue where I needed to take DD5 to a party but DS10 was home. DH wasn't back from football with out teenagers until half hour after the party started.

DS10 (year 5) wanted to stay home while I took DD5 to a party and wait for his Dad to get home. But I didn't consider this safe. So since he didn't want to come with me to the party, MIL popped round to babysit DS10 for half an hour until DH got home.

That's a bit like asking "How long is a piece of string". It depends on a whole host of factors but mine weren't left alone until they were 11 because everywhere was a 20 minute car drive from home with a single road into and out of the village which if it became blocked (and it often did) involved a 20 mile detour to come in from the other end.

I wouldn't do this until secondary school - so 11 years old.

Seriously?
How are you going to prepare them for going to secondary then ?

As everyone says, if does depend on the child's maturity (and of course on the circumstances of how long you will be gone and what your journey is, etc).

One of mine would have been fr
ine from 7 for that journey / length of time. Another I wouldn't have left until about 9 for such things.

At 4&6 I was leaving mine to take the bins out... But I had to take them to the end of the road, and retrieve the recycling from the garage. It took at least 5 minutes. No one would think anything of a patent leaving 2 children asleep while putting the bins out... But that was probably further than your shop. Similarly I would pop around to my neighbours house for a few minutes. The local culture (not UK) would have children about 7 or8 years d popping to the shop with a list. If someone realised they had forgotten something at the checkout, it was reasonably common to ask the nearest child to go and retrieve said item.

My nearly 8 year old I'll leave if I need to pop next door or down the street a few houses for a quick message or whatever. My nearly 7 year old... will probably be capable of not destroying the planet by about the time she's 37. One loves responsibility and the other one will superglue herself to my leg at the drop of a hat.

I'm about to start leaving my almost-11 year old, but only alone. His younger sibling is much more active, mischievous, spirited, er... you know, all those words, and while the elder is calm and mature, and can look after himself, I cannot expect him to be the sole carer of the younger, who wouldn't listen to a word he said.

I leave my sensible 9 year old home alone (At his request) for up to about 15 minutes when I’m out and about in the village. I also let him walk the 10 minute walk to/from school on his own, as do all his classmates. In 18 months time he will be expected to get himself across town on the bus to secondary school. I feel I’m starting to build him for this in little bite sized pieces.

My 10 yr old regularly opts to stay home when I'm dropping a sibling elsewhere. She loves a bit of time to herself and often asks for longer alone.

My 8 yr old is fine to be left while I go to the post box at the end of the road, or swap the cars over etc but she would become v anxious for any longer than that.

I actually think 6 is fine if you can literally see the shop and are just going for an item or two.

Yes you might be run over/ burgled / house sets on fire in the 5 minutes you are out, but what are the chances? Slim to none.

I am starting to leave 9 year old alone for short periods. He needs to learn some independence before secondary in just over a year.

I think six would be OK if it's literally across the road - if she got scared she could stand at the door and yell for you.

I would be happy to leave a child that age for 5 mins provided they were sensible. I would tell them what to do in the event of various emergencies and not to open the door to anyone.

My 7 year old goes to the shop across the road by himself. I watch him cross the road from my door to make sure he does in safely and run through various scenarios with him and try to get him to think what he should do if they happen.

Children around here walk to school by themselves from age 8 and a half or 9 and have to cross busy roads. Its important to gradually give them more independence.

In the situation you describe I think I'd consider it! Even more so if they are asleep.

I have always took the bins out right to the bottom of my garden and gone to the car leaving mine asleep since birth.