Ex being tricky

[WillSing]

Hi Everyone,

I am asking on behalf of a friend: she has a 12-year old boy with an ex who she has been separated from for the past 10-years or so. Following visits that the child makes to the father the child has become nasty to her with name calling and swearing and accusations (e.g., 'You're a f**cking idiot'; 'You ruin everything'; 'I hate you', etc.)

She believes that the father is turning the boy against her and she would like to limit the time that the father spends with the child to be only those that take place in her home (i.e., no unattended supervision.) She has blocked the father on her mobile and effectively stopped him from seeing the boy at all.

She recently received a letter from the father's lawyer asking to reopen access to the child or face a child contact application and associated legal costs which she has refuted, and she's now waiting to hear again from his lawyers.

The questions are:

1. Does anyone know the formal process for this kind of thing?
2. Does the mother have any right to stop the father seeing the child on the basis of the behaviour of the child similar to the examples above (which may be spiteful at worst or just differing standards of discipline with the child, i.e., an easy-going father and disciplinarian mother.)

Many thanks,

Will

She shouldn't have stopped contact. The contact is for the DC. I would find it odd that after ten years of contact the mum is now believing her DC is being turned against her and it's only showing itself now. It's also not unusual for different styles of parenting and 'Disney dad' type style from the fathers which can lead to DC getting frustrated with there mum as she instils rules and boundaries. It won't go well in court if your friend sticks with her plan after ten years to stop contact based on her DC becoming a little lippy on his return...... I would suggest she resolves this ASAP to prevent it going to court .

I should add that when I went to family court when my ex took me there I didn't have to pay. I am not sure if that has changed but if your friend is going to insist on not setting up contact she needs to get herself a solicitor

Thanks very much.

Can I check: is mediation a requirement before going to court? It looks like, reading some of the legal advice in the public domain, that mediation is the first port of call before court proceedings (this couple have had no mediation to date.)

Thanks again.