Desperate breastfeeding new mum

[Emmalowri]

Hi! 👋🏼 I’m currently in the hospital 2 days postpartum and this has been the worst night of my entire life. My beautiful baby just wouldn’t settle even after 6 hours straight on the boob. I tried massaging the boobs, switching nips every so often, all sorts. He just wanted to feed and feed (even though my milks not properly come in yet). Eventually after hours of me trying and both me and baby bawling our eyes out, a midwife stepped in and asked if she could give him a very small amount of formula. I said no at first and persisted but more time went by and more and more blood starting pouring out of my very over used nipples. I feel like a complete failure. 2 days of feeding and he’s already been given formula. Is the ‘2 night syndrome’ actually a thing? Did anyone else go through it? Has anyone ever had to add formula before your milk came in??

I'm 6 months in but your post took me straight back. As others have said lots of lansinoh cream on and also a face cloth run through warm water held on to the nips in between helps relieve pain, cleans the area and also helps with milk stimulation.

Skin on skin with the baby as much as you can. It settles them to give you a small break and also helps the milk keep coming.

Get help with your latch but also know that combo feeding doesn't ever seem to be talked about and is really common. I gave formula on day 4 and was determined to get my supply up so I could ebf, but after a week or so of bfing then pumping between feeds, I decided to keep the formula feeds as well as BF. It felt like a failure at first but actually worked much better for me and baby, and only once I started speaking about it did I realise how common it is.

Every drop of breast milk is valuable, but at the same time a happy mum is what the baby needs and formula is not the end of the world. It does not mean you've failed in any way. Do what is right for you both.

Good luck and try to enjoy your wee one as much as possible

I had this. Traumatic delivery - first night baby and I were separated, he was in NICU, me in a side room. Second and third nights baby back with me, but all he did from 11pm-6am was wail and want to be attached. He miraculously fell asleep at 6am just as the sun was coming up. When my milk came in things got better but I was beside myself. Delirious with exhaustion and tearful. And I think if the medical team had just explained then I’d have been ok but I thought it would be like this forever. It passed quickly, he’s just building the supply. The bleeding nipples suggests a tongue tie though so maybe get someone to look (and feel) for one

Argh 2nd night was prob worst night of my life! Alone in hosp (sent husband home to get some sleep, what was I thinking 😂), with a baby who just wanted to feed and not be put down. Didn’t get offered formula but totally would have taken it! Midwife did say the second night was them putting their order. Fed my little boy for 15 months, so he defo got his order in!!

Can laugh about it now but also stood up at one point that night not knowing what to do with him and my pelvic floor was so battered I just weed all over the floor 🙈

I promise everything gets so much better ❤️

I was told day/night three would be the worst after giving birth and they were right. It's takes about three days for your milk supply to come down and it's the constant feeding and crying which promotes that (however no objections to formula feeding to settle baby either). Do what's best for you, trust your instincts, it does get better, ask for lots of support and congratulations

Look for local breastfeeding support, ideally an IBCLC. It may be that he's comfort sucking but there's also a chance that he's not getting the amount of milk he needs through the position he's in or a physical issue like a tongue tie. Breastfeeding IS hard to establish, but so many women struggle through problems that are fixable with support.

We paid an IBCLC at 8 days because my son couldn't latch at all and I was exclusively expressing which was bloody hard work. After a tongue tie diagnosis and a lot of positioning support, we really cracked it and he still has the odd feed 20 months later.

Don't battle through it thinking that it's normal to be suffering - breastfeeding should be pain free when everything is going smoothly. Best of luck.

Bless you op, it's so tiring. Previous posters have it though. He's trying to bring your milk in as quick as he can. Bleeding is not right though, you have a latch problem and need a properly qualified consultant to check him for tongue or lip tie and help you attach. A little formula won't hurt, and will actually give him the strength for a proper sleep instead of exhaustion where he never gets real rest.

Tongue tie is real, often missed, and horrid. I bled initially feeding my DD and struggled through weeks of agony. Months later I was told she had a lip tie, which explained lots. We persevered but I wish I'd known to have it corrected. When DS was born, the immediate pain free latch and simple feeding was a revelation! I asked the ward bf midwife to check him for ties, but it wasn't really necc, it was clear he didn't pretty quickly.

This is why I hate how different medical advice is across different hospitals. It takes 3 days for milk to come in and so babies need very, very little colostrum very frequently. That’s normal and encourages your milk to come in - formula isn’t required unless you don’t produce colostrum and the only way they would know that is if they asked you to express it and nothing came out. Your nipples bleeding is not normal and should have warranted someone checking your baby’s latch and examining for tongue tie. I

I have been exactly where you are I promise! Don't lose hope. Absolutely nothing seemed to come out of my boobs I had the indignity of dozens of midwifes painfully trying to milk me!

Baby dropped 12% weight so they insisted on formula. My first advice is feed the formula with a syringe do they don't get used to the bottle teat over your nipple. I didn't do this and I found latch really hard.

Give a little formula but keep persevering with breastfeeding. Get as much support as you can.

By day 5 my milk started coming in and I slowly weaned off the formula and I breastfed for 12 months until my son self weaned. I was gutted!

This doesn't mean you won't breastfed... Stick with it. You're doing amazing x

Also if you're in pain try nipple shields

Definitely try to get some expert advice on the latch. In the meantime, have a look at the flipple technique on YouTube to get a deeper latch.

Brown is right, some face to face support from a lactation consultant or trained peer supporter might be really helpful and reassuring for you. Could you ask your midwife where a local breastfeeding group is? In the meantime, loads of skin to skin contact and keep nuzzling and smelling that lovely newborn baby head! You got this xx

I gave my baby formula 4 times in the first 6 weeks with the first time being day within 24 hours of birth. It has not effected my supply as it was so infrequent and hasn't effected his ability to feed. You haven't failed at all. Get support from a lactation consultant as soon as possible though as bleeding nipples could be a sign of tongue tie or shallow latch. I saw formula as an emergency back up for when baby was so tired he wouldn't feed or if I was at emotional breaking point. The first 12 weeks of breastfeeding are an emotional rollercoaster

Don’t worry about giving formula. I used formula to help my hangry DD2 to calm down before latching. She then went on to be exclusive breast feed for weeks.

Feeding continuously or cluster feeding is the baby upping your supply for what he/she needs tomorrow. With breast feeding it’s the content of nappies that you need to focus on.

Yes breastfeeding hurts at first but bleeding nipples is a sign of a poor latch. Breastfeeding is a skill that both you and your tiny newborn need to learn, it takes time and like most new skills you need help from someone who knows what they have been doing. If there a lactation consultant or specialist breast feeding midwife on the ward, ask for them. Don’t be afraid to ask and ask again for help.

When you are discharged from hospital you are under midwife care until day 10. Ask your midwife to come again the next day and again the next and the next to support with feeding. Contact your local LLL too.

Something we tried is nipple shields, helped no end. Honestly the reason I continued breast feeding until day 7 (I know it doesn't sound a lot but proud I got that far!). My baby fed for 8 hours solid one night. You need a break. A dummy is a lifesaver and before giving birth I was fully against one, now it's our saviour!

Thank you so much everyone! I no longer feel like a bad mummy. Today I’ve persevered with breast feeding and topping up with formula if little man needed (first thing he fed great, then my nipples were bleeding into his mouth even though the midwife said I was latching correctly so I topped him up. He then threw up the formula but is continuing dirty nappies so he is fed. GOD THIS BEING A MUMMY IS HARD

So sorry you are going through this. It’s really really fucking hard.

My milk didn’t come in until day 5 (I think because I had a severe pph and emergency blood transfusions) But I did self express colostrum into a syringe to give her at 4 hour intervals. She also had formula to top her up. I started exclusively pumping at day 5 as she would not latch and I did that for 2 months until she FINALLY latched and I have been exclusively breastfeeding ever since. It was a hard slog, but you can get there in the end.

Try nipple shields and a really good breast pump - they really helped me.

Don’t feel guilty about giving her a bit of formula - nothing wrong in that.

Are there any proper breastfeeding experts in your hospital? Ours had a dedicated team to help.

Ps I’m not going to lie, Breastfeeding/pumping was AGONY for two months to the point were I would cry every time. But now it’s wonderful and such a bonding experience. It also releases endorphins so makes you feel all loved up and fuzzy. It’s so hard at first but you can come out the other side I promise 😊 well done lovely!

In my experience most midwives are not sufficiently knowledgeable about breastfeeding to judge whether a latch is good or not. Just looking good is meaningless. If it’s hurting you it’s likely there is a latch issue. Does your hospital have a lactation consultant (IBCLC)? If not maybe think about getting a private one

Agree with takeyourrubbish, I think I had about ten midwives tell me the latch was fine so I just had to get used to breastfeeding, but it was still so sore. Had his tongue tie snipped at 8 weeks and feeding was totally pain free 5 days later. They can mean well but it's an art, you need a specialist.

Agree midwives aren’t experts when it comes to breastfeeding.

@Emmalowri it’s hard, yes, but you’re doing fantastically. Glad things are getting better!