Thinking of giving up breastfeeding at 3 weeks

[LoveIsLovely]

Hello, I need some support/advice. I am not in the UK.

I had my baby 3 weeks ago and am thinking of giving up breastfeeding already.

I had a traumatic birth, tore a lot, episiotomy, then they took my baby away and bottle fed him immediately. I was so exhausted that I didn't question it, and I didn't breastfeed til the next day. I was told to try feeding every three hours then giving him a bottle - I didn't know any better which I feel so guilty about as I should have read up more on it and realised that giving him a bottle wasn't a good idea if I wanted to breastfeed. Maybe that is stupid but I knew nothing.

I had a lot of tearing and sitting down to breastfeed was extremely uncomfortable to the point that I cried a lot every time I did. I tried a lot of different positions but nothing worked and I didn't want to lie down in case I fell asleep with him underneath me. I'm basically healed now but my nipples hurt and I'm tired of the pain.

Now it's three weeks in and my milk still hasn't come in. If I pump, I get maybe 20ml after 30 minutes.

He has no problem latching, sucks a lot but falls asleep a lot too, making it hard to feed him.

I saw a lactation consultant today and she said I should keep feeding every three hours for 30 minutes but if he falls asleep, it doesn't count as part of the 30 minutes. The thought of having to feed him for 40 minutes or more at a time is just so draining. She gave me a bunch of tea and told me how to do massage stuff and I am just drained thinking about how I'm now supposed to do a 30 minute massage twice a day as well as everything else.

I have plenty of help from my mother in law and husband and yet I'm still struggling. I feel like the world's laziest and shittest mum because I didn't do my research and I am too tired to feed him.

Today as he was feeding, he kept falling asleep and I couldn't stop crying with frustration. I feel like I can't enjoy being with him at all.

I don't know why I feel so guilty, I was never a "breast is best" type, but I feel like I didn't even put in the minimal effort and like I'm giving up too early.

This is a bit of a ramble, I'm just wondering if anyone else has been in this position.

@addictedtotheflats As I said in my previous comment, I've made my decision. I am not interested in continuing. The more people give advice for how to continue, the more I start to feel guilty for not continuing so I will hide this thread now.

I’d honestly put money on that being a tongue tie. So many of the symptoms fit - the sleepiness at feeding, the nipple pain, the reflux (if the tongue can’t move properly then baby takes on more air and is often sick). Did the LC feel under his tongue?

I’m not mentioning this to challenge your decision, just that if it is a tt some of the problems may continue with bottle feeding too

I think you've made the absolute right decision for you and your baby. Hopefully things will settle down a little now and you will be able to enjoy happy times with your gorgeous baby.

I forgot to add buy a perfect prep machine. It’s so much easier!

Yes - agree with getting the perfect prep machine - I got one off gumtree for £25, pick up the filters online of in Tesco. It was a godsend

Congratulations on your baby! Adding to what PPs have said: don't feel guilty. You've made a decision, you're pretty sure it's the best one for you given your circumstances, and now you can get on with bonding with baby without stress hanging over you. That's the most important thing.

Don't feel guilty. You've done 3 weeks which is a massive achievement and given your son the colostrum so he'll of got loads of antibodies etc. I'v done both and breastfeeding isn't worth your own mental health taking a beating.

Dont feel guilty, it's not worth the energy. Just pump or feed what you need to to stop without getting blocked up, use cabbage leaves in your bra as that helps. I think epsom salts may too? Worth asking your midwife.

My dc needed formula. I didn't make s firm choice and it was months of pumping loads instead of playing, sore breasts, angry baby and bad PND. In hindsight i wish I'd just made the choice but i felt difficulty bonding with my dc due to birth trauma and was desperate to use breastfeeding to get 'the bond'. I did combi feed which was great in the end but looking back it wasn't worth the negatives. I bf my other dc with much more ease with good delivery.