Anyone has have a difficult baby?

[themummydiaries1]

I'm really struggling with my 7 mo. He's my first & has never been an easy baby. He whinges constantly. He has a normal routine eg feed nap play etc and I try and do as much as I can with him eg play groups and walks but he just never seems happy. He doesn't sleep very well at night so me and DH are knackered. I'm so stressed sometimes I feel like my head is going to explode. Me and DH are arguing constantly because I don't feel like he does enough to help me but he insists he does. I won't let anyone else babysit as I don't want them to get frustrated with him even tho I do myself sometimes. I go back to work soon & I don't want to be stressed at work after no sleep , arguments with DH or just worrying about him in nursery. I'm sick of other parents (SIL) telling me how easy her first born was & how he would sleep so well & just played happily for hours. I often wonder if there's something wrong with him or is this normal because I feel like I'm drowning..

Sounds normal.

My DS has never slept through (unless you count one day last week where he slept until 5 and then insisted I get up - he's nearly 2). He never napped anywhere other than on me or in the car (and still won't - except nursery where I assume they have magical powers). He doesn't really play with toys, likes to literally flip off furniture, he's loud, he moans a lot, can be really rough, won't sit still to watch TV.

But, work saved my sanity. I thought I would be sitting all day worrying about him but nope. I drop him off and have a lovely peaceful day in a job I used to consider stressful, and then when I pick him up he's had a great day and it's nearly bedtime.

The first year is such a short time full of the longest days. You'll get through it.

Sounds normal. Long pram walks with an audiobook saved me. That and getting to lots of groups.

Sounds very normal, some babies just like to test their parents.

I know it sounds really silly but have you tried humming at him when he starts really whinging? My baby yoga instructor said to try it when I felt myself getting frustrated as its a calming mechanism for me, but it also kind of shocks ds into silence and then after about 15 seconds he's calm and not quite so whiney, it is only a short quick fix, but it might help?

Hand hold OP, my DS2 was like you described, DS1 was a dream baby so DS2 was a complete shock to the system. DH & I were absolutely exhausted, it does get easier, my advice would be to accept any offers of help, be kind to yourself and DH. It’s a tough time, but it won’t be forever.

Thank you for all your comments. It just helps to know I'm not the only one x

My son was DEFINITELY like this! I thought he was broken! He's just very active and alert and demanding. Hes 16 mo tbs okd now and still hard work but such a deilight now and has an amazinf personality. I promise it gets essier!

@surreygirl1987 sounds exactly like my son. He doesn't keep still and needs constant entertainment x

My 9 week old is like this. In baby groups other babies his age are like proper babies - fat, content, giggly and sleeping or curled up on their mums. Mine looks like a skinned rabbit because he’s not gaining weight despite being really tall and drinking enough for 3 babies and loves to move and peer round at people so we constantly have to watch him to ensure his neck is properly supported. He even fusses when he wants to go on his tummy to play and then will fuss when he decides it’s enough. Then will fuss when he wants to sleep etc. He only really sleeps 10 hours per day though thankfully he is starting to sleep in longer chunks now.

Yes DC1 was like this. DC2 not at all the same. DC1 needed constant stimulation, she was only happy doing anything for 5 minutes then needed a change.

Jumperoo and sit in walker were my saviours. And long buggy walks. So was going back to work!

Don’t worry about other people looking after him by the way. (I did too but with hindsight shouldn’t have). Remember they are doing it on a full night’s sleep and not day in day out. So he might even be a fun baby for them as they will have the energy to keep him entertained.

Also he will get much happier as he gets older and can entertain himself more - although if he’s like my dc1 he will still be quite demanding!

". I won't let anyone else babysit as I don't want them to get frustrated with him even tho I do myself sometimes"
Well, maybe you should let someone look after him for a bit?

If you get even a few hours break, it might help you all? Don't feel guilty about it. I'm sure there's people willing to help you?, By taking him just for a walk, or cuddling him at yours.

Omg @GrumpyHoonMain our babies are temperament twins! My son can whinge very well for anything. He was born with super neck muscles and the curiosity to exercise them well. He feeds constantly! Mama is tired but this isn't my first, so I'm better able to handle him.

Coffee, music and fresh air help us both when life gets tense lol. Daddy has no choice other than to take the baby when I say so, it's not a competition. Hang in there @themummydiaries1, work may well be your source of sanity/peace, and baby gets easier and more fun when they're older... Although that comes with other trade-offs lol. Try not to place too much pressure on yourself, no one parents perfectly. Definitely do as others have said, trust your baby with people you trust. My friends didn't have kids when I had my first, but they were soooo good with him! My MIL became my saviour as she gave me the chance to nap daily, and my own DM cleaned my entire house whenever she felt it needed it. People saved me. DS1 was a difficult baby, but is now a confident and intelligent source of joy for us. He is also an amazing older brother for my 9 week DS2, who is even fussier than he was. My baby has just slept after fighting it and me, and I'm so exhausted I'm not sure what to do with myself lol. It definitely won't be the washing up! 🙃

Haha you guys are my people! I second those who have said to let other people look after him to give you a break. I, like you, was very reluctant to let anyone look after him as I knew how difficult he was. But actually he's very sociable and loves other people... and behaves better for them than for me! He's a delight at nursery and they adore him! My broyhet babysat only for the first time a month ago (and my boy is 16 months now) as I was worried how he'd cope... but actually it was fine and taught me that he can be left with anyone. The worst that will happen (touch wood) is that he'l tantrum and be unhappy but to be honest my son does that with me anyway so I figure I don't have anything to lose - except my sanity if I keep refusing babysitting offers!!