When did being at home get easier.

[Postmanbear]

I have 2 boys, nearly 3 and 16 months. I am lucky to be able to be part time, 3 days a week but I’m really not enjoying my days at home at the moment. They are just such hard work. My youngest can now run everywhere so I struggle to take them places on my own which is not a soft play or play group. My day feels like a relentless cycle of clearing up food and playing puzzles or telling them off. I feel trapped in a room with them.
I want to go back to work full time but feel so sad saying/thinking that. We don’t need the money.
I had PND following my second and I feel like I’m sinking again.
Maybe it’s the weather and things will be better in the summer.
When did you start enjoy being at home with them? Thank you

I’m a sahm to twins, who are two. It is so bloody hard! I find the only thing that makes it manageable is to get them out and about to tire them out. We spend a lot of time in the garden playing and checking for bugs etc. Going out out is really difficult as it’s a constant risk assessment whirring through my head as to which kid will get hurt first so I have to plan where we’re going in advance and know that it’ll be a safe space with minimal escape routes 😳

No advice really from me, just sympathy and solidarity! I’m sure it will be better in the summer...

Sahm here. Mine are 2 and 4 now. It’s definitely easier now my littlest can keep up more with her big brother.

Basically we did the double buggy until DS could be trusted, not to run off. Probably when he was about 3/3.5. Then we used the buggy for DD and DS had to walk holding on to it.

Obviously only let them both free in a safe environment and ideally fenced in and with other adults. So I’d go to the park with friends. We might have 6 toddlers between 3 of us, but it meant everyone was keeping an eye out and you could take one to the loo or whatever and know the other one was still being watched. I’d often take the double buggy and the threat of being strapped into it was enough to make DS behave.

I did get confident enough to go by myself. I just stayed with the little one and DS mostly had to fend for himself. But only in fenced in places.

Days at home can be tough. We have a strict routine of out in the morning, home for nap/quiet time and then either another trip out in the afternoon or activities like play doh in the house/go to park/play in garden. Dinner around 5.30 and then bath and bed by 7. I probably let them watch too much tv, but I need it for my sanity. Thankfully my oldest is now in preschool every morning so that helps our structure

I enjoyed it once my youngest was two, but by then my older one was doing mornings in nursery, and I only had both of them in the afternoons. That summer was great, I got one on one time with my little maniac in the morning, and then we'd do a playground when I picked up her brother, often with a picnic lunch. I remember the days when I felt like I couldn't go out with both of them alone, that was sooo hard. But it does get easier and much more fun. When my older one started school I missed him so much, and missed being on my own with both of them for long periods, it's so hard to do much when you don't pick them up til 3.30. If you'd have told me when the littlest was a year that that's how I'd feel, I'd have laughed. You'll get there!

Hi OP, I completely feel your pain. To offer a smidge of hope, my two (6 and 4.5) are much easier than those (bloody awful) early days. My eldest is into colouring, creating stuff out of junk and Lego which he couldn’t have cared less about until about 18 months ago. He also loves football and being active, but it’s a massive relief that he is able to sit and concentrate on something for a bit.

My daughter is getting there too, and they do play together a bit now. I would say 85% of the time it ends in a row, but at least they are starting

Please try not to feel guilty about the way you feel. I look back at when they were younger and shudder. I sometimes look at photos through rose tinted glasses and get the guilts for not having enjoyed it as much as I thought I should have. But Then I remember how endless the days felt and I let myself off the hook a bit.

It will get easier, enjoy the little moments you can and don’t feel bad for not loving the slog of it x

Oh god yes! I have ds6, ddnear2, dts who are 7mths. For me its easier with all 4 cos i can push double buggy and ds6 pushes his sister in buggy for me.
Defo find its easier when we get out of the house to do stuff. Dd is in nursery mon/wed so tues/thurs/fri i take her and dts to playgroup in the mornings, then they sleep while i take them a run in car. Afternoons are spent colouring in or playing in her little kitchen while i sort housework/cooking etc.
Saturdays we are out first thing to go to farm for milk and veg then ds6 has dance class for an hour, the younger ones usually sleep at that time. We then go for bit of lunch and maybe softplay. My prob now with dd up on her feet is she wants to go in the big frame rather than toddler one so certain centres i dont take them unless dp with us or meeting friends. Roll on spring/summer when we can get out into garden or down to beach!