Do I 'force' my sensitive little poppet to do the ballet show that she doesn't want to do?

[oliveoil]

Background: dd1, v shy, 'odd', sensitive etc etc. Started doing ballet on a Saturday morning to try and boost her confidence and socialise a bit more. Seems to have worked, likes going now (took a while), when I spy on her at the end of the lesson she is usually holding hands or chatting to another girl.

They are planning a show and she now says she doesn't want to do it, getting VERY upset.

One matinee, 3 evenings (which end at 10pm when she goes to bed at 7pm , but that is another matter)

Do I say, ok, you don't have to do it - even though all her friends will be?

Or do I 'force' her, thinking that she may like it if she tries?

My gut - and I am big on gut feelings - says "oh ffs you muppet, she is only 4, you will only put her off ballet otherwise"

But I am very soft and may be biased and wrong and she may benefit from the challenge. Or maybe not .

Anyone had experience of this?

Thanks

I have direct experience of this and have only read your first post as I must go to bed but if you are sure she doesnt want to do it then thats fine, dont do it. You could always go and watch one showing and talk about "next" time you might like to give it a go. The Audience is just as important as the show IMSWIM

At our dance school the practises for the shows are done in seperate lessons from the normal lessons, if yours are the same she will still see her friends and still have her usual fun without any pressure.

Show nights can be very long and our little ones are usually allowed home at the interval but it is still very tiring for them.

if it was mine I'd go like this - if she doesn't perform she doesn't get the costume. If she wants the costume but not enough to perform to get it then she doesn't perform.

oh yes cod, I am v pushy

VVV - yes, I do all that stuff, that is how I got her to go to the lessons in the first place, weeks of us both 'dancing' at home. Any new experiences are a nightmare frankly

tatt - good one, will drop that one in and await the outburst

thanks

yep, its tough.

I've got to start prepping DD for her first day at reception next week....deep joy.....

oh I know

she is feigning that she is 'ill' atm but I don't know if she is ill or if she is nervous about going tomorrow

I want to put her in a duvet and hide away [pathetic]

Oh, I dont cope with "feigned illnesses" very well.

The first and last time I thought she was feigning illness she ended up being rushed to hospital with breathing difficulties.....I can ignore now, just in case.

cant ignore...

and I've just realised that my post may be somewhat alarming and its not meant to be!!!

When is the show. Depending on your LEA is there time for you to register and volunteer as a chaperone, that way you could be backstage with her.

My gut feeling is that if she says she doesn;t want to do it, she won't. I have seen several little ones refuse to go on stage. We encourage gently, but it is no point getting them upset.

Please do let the teacher know in advance though, it always helps to know the score.