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Parenting

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Original poster

Husband afraid to take baby out without me

32 replies

SundayGirlB · 09/02/2020 10:07

Husband is great with a 9mo, they have a fab bond and he can do all the baby care and I've learned to let go. In fact I've learned so well that I really want him to take our son out so I can have the house to myself for a couple of hours. I never relax so I'd like to stay at home and read a book in bed rather than sit in a cafe/pound the shops.

But the most he feels comfortable with is a 45min walk really. He could nip into town, take him to a class or soft play etc but he isn't confident enough. Our son is ebf so used to be very reliant but he is only feeding at night and at naps now so can easily go 3 hours once he has had solids.

How can I help him feel more confident? Do it incrementally or just down tools?

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NearlyBaked · 09/02/2020 13:09

Next time you meet that couple, leave the dads with the kids! We have a similar set up with some friends and like PP says it really comes in handy with toddlers.

My approach would depend on whether I thought my husband genuinely lacked confidence and worried about caring for baby, or whether he was just being a lazy arse.
If the latter I would just down tools and bugger off, leave him to it.

Bipbipbipbip · 09/02/2020 13:40

My DH would never take our DS to softplay - I once sent him into a free one at the farm because DS was stuck and I was wearing a mini skirt and didn't want to flash my bum. DH was not a fan! He's just not the sort of person that enjoys/tolerates it well. He always says he has no "dad chat".

Anyway, Id try leaving him in the house so go and get your hair done or go to the cinema. I actually found it was much easier when DS started walking and the two of them would disappear off to the park for an hour or so and I'd have some time on my own in the house.

Dozer · 09/02/2020 15:10

No one is U for wishing to avoid softplay, or trampoline parks, urgh!

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rwalker · 09/02/2020 15:19

So presume he works then you said does diy ,housework his share at home and hands on dad. does sound like he's pulling his weight.

GoldenOmber · 09/02/2020 15:34

Doing DIY and some housework isn't going to help him build confidence with his own baby though, is it?

Original poster

SundayGirlB · 09/02/2020 16:19

@rwalker I do DIY he does his share of housework and yes he works. It's not about him pulling his weight it's about him being confident raising his child and me getting maybe a couple of hours off from the 24 hour work I do.

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Abouttimemum · 09/02/2020 16:41

Mine takes 10 month old DS swimming on a Saturday morning. I went with him a few times (as I do like to watch!) but he goes on his own now. He sometimes takes him to see his dad on a Sunday afternoon which is half an hour away.
I tend to download the new daytime routine on him at the end of every week as it changes all the time. My DH is really great to be honest but knowing the routine is key. He is far more relaxed than I am (I am pure ocd about things being right).
As he’s going out the door i usually just say nap due at whatever time, and food at whenever time etc - he usually brings him back for lunchtime / tea time. I think you’ll find once hubby has done it once or twice he’ll be totally fine. It’s taking the leap - and you do right to force the issue because otherwise it will always be you and that’s not healthy at all.

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