Going away second weekend of reception.

[Pippiphooray]

Good evening. I hope you can help, and maybe reassure me that I’m not being a neurotic Mum!
My husband and I have been invited to a wedding in Cornwall (7-8 hours away), it’s my husbands friend getting married (he is an usher)
It will be the second weekend of the first term, of reception for my summer born son.
I’m not happy going, and would rather stay and support my son (who I feel will struggle with school). Am I unreasonable/rude for not going?
I have looked into flights and these are not only much more expensive, but also don’t allow much more time than driving, taking into account getting to airport and transfers etc 🙄. My husband is having a strop about me not going, and I’m feeling a bit daft for being over-protective. 🤷‍♀️

When I was a primary school mum I would have said don't miss it. But a few years down the line... He won't miss anything, wont remember missing anything so go.

YANBU nor rude.
That would be the worst time to go away - there is a LOT of work goes in to settling the children and getting them used to everything when they start - I wouldn't have wanted any of my dc to miss that.
I mean, you could argue it is one day - if you travel on the Friday ?
There is also the possibility of school having a staggered start - do you know all Reception start at the beginning of term?

Thanks for the response, I’m a bit stumped 🤔, need input! They have a summer-born 2 week half day start, but that’s it. So it will be straight in for full days on the Monday after we are back. He’s my second, but he feels so little in comparison to my older daughter, who couldn’t wait to start school!

I totally depends. How far away from Cornwall are you and how much time do you need to take off? Is it childfree and you need to leave him at home?

I wouldn’t leave him and go away at a time like that, but I can’t imagine missing the Friday and coming back Sunday will do any harm. Mine isn’t summer born so was a few months older and went straight to full days right away. We went to a wedding that weekend when she was in reception (with a new baby in tow) and it was no big deal. I took her out on Friday and we came back Sunday. If your dh needs to go earlier, fine.

If you’re in like Suffolk, well, yes, that may just be too far for a weekend, but dh can always go without you.

Don't go. Your son needs your support.

Ohh that’s so difficult (and I actually did this to my sister by getting married in mid September when her DC started school). I think you’ll probably be ok if you travel Thursday afternoon/evening and then back Sunday night. The weather in Cornwall may well be glorious in September and you should have a fantastic time. I’d probably feel quite strongly as you do that he shouldn’t miss too much time but this way you’re probably talking about 3 hours (I’d possibly be tempted to go the Wednesday evening if the weather was nice). Whereabouts in Cornwall is it and how long is the journey? We often do Hampshire to St Ives setting off at 7pm, transfer the kids to bed and wake up and head straight to the beach. The kids love it!

I think missing Friday would be ok. Fridays are usually lots of play and if summer borns are only there for the morning he's not missing much. could you leave at lunchtime on the Friday?

make sure the weekends are super quiet either side and try to get home at a reasonable time on Sunday.

We went away Friday-Monday at the end of 2nd week of reception - I completely forgot he’d be at school when I booked the flights.

School didn’t bat an eye, and made no difference to the settling in process.

I’d just go for a nice family break.

I assume you're talking about having Friday and Monday off? If you want to, when you return you can always ask that your DS does a couple more half days to settle in.
I think he will be ok if you do go.

Obviously you couldn't miss any school time, but yeah, I'd go, amd I'm probably the most guarded mum out there when it comes toy children's energy levels.
It's the second weekend, so the utter exhaustion wont have set in, and your son can have a lovely nap and hang out and chill in the car with you in the back with him. Same on the way home on the Sunday.
But that's what I'd do with my kids, you know your child and that should be respected by your husband.

Is your son coming with you, or would you be leaving him behind? If he’s coming with you I think no problem. He’s just beginning to settle in so won’t be missing much at this stage. I don’t think I would leave him under these circumstances though as he may already be unsettled and need his parents. I would go and take him with you. The weddings of close family/friends are important events and worth making the effort for.

Legally, he doesn’t need to be in school until the summer term. Go and don’t worry about it. He’ll enjoy a wedding and break with his parents. I’m a primary teacher...

I’m with AltheaVestr1t

Legally he doesn’t have to be in school until he is five.
Also he doesn’t have to start doing full days the next week. Reception are flexible and work to accommodate your child settling (within reason) and often children continue to do half days for a little longer.
Also could you not just look at it as doing 4 day weeks as part of the selling in.
One of my friends has her dd doing only 4 days in reception for the whole year as she didn’t want her in full time until she legally had to be. I’d weigh up your options before making a decision.

Have I missed where you’ve said how many days he’d be missing? One or two - fine, more not as good.

I’ve worked in reception and there is often a turnover of children in the first few weeks so the settling in takes a while. Some children will begin but will still be on the waiting list for another school so will come for a bit then transfer there etc

@helterskelter3 that’s not correct. It’s the term after their 5th birthday that they legally have to attend school (check the gov.uk website).

If hes on half days, cant you leave after lunch on Friday, wedding Sat, and drive back up on Sunday?
Is the issue missing school or having fully planned weekend?

OP, whatever decision you make, remember that your Ds will grow up a lot between now and then. I have a summer born who was quite ‘young’ and I was apprehensive about him starting Reception. By the time summer was over he was SO ready to start school, and after a couple of summer-born half days was outraged to be missing the afternoon, when some Elmer Elephant related activity was happening.

It is a big percentage of their lives, between now and September.

Teacher here and mum of two August-borns.
Go to the wedding.

Thanks for the thoughts guys. My husband had planned for just us to go, so leaving the kids with my lovely MIL for the Friday and Saturday night. I think he’s keen to have some child free time. I might suggest bringing the children (they have been invited), a case of we all go, or he can go on his own. Probably not what he’d originally planned but 🤷‍♀️😂

So, is your mil local? The kids wouldn't miss any school at all?
Even more reason to go.

Go without a second thought. He'll be fine.

Oh, right, I hadn't picked that up.
With that additional information, I'd go with your dh's suggestion then. You and he travel down on the Friday and come home on the Sunday, and your MiL collects him from school and has a lovely chillded out day with him on the Saturday.
From your OP I was assuming you were talking about taking him out of school for several days.