Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Feels like I’ve patented wrong, can I start again?

1 reply

anotheranxiousmum · 07/02/2020 08:54

My 5 year old dd is a lovely, kind girl who doesn’t step foot wrong at school according to all her teachers. They also compliment how she is the kindest, well behaved, great manners etc. I have seen this myself on trips and in school. But at home she does the opposite and finds every way to misbehave or be rude.

Her manners are out of the window, forgets please and thank you all the time. Isn’t always kind to her 3 year old sister. acts like a 2 year old and not speaking in full sentence like she does outdoors and at school, she puts on this baby act. Tantrums when it’s time to leave a play date, has to be told 500 times before she does anything. She CANNOT take discipline well and gets cross when you tell her off, take away privileges or anything of that sort then ends up saying things that in my books are rude and out of order. Example “if you tell me off I will keep shouting”

Sometimes I feel like I’ve done this whole parenting wrong. I have always tried gentle parenting, lots of praise and lots of love. Spend time together doing crafting and activities, she has plenty of toys and gifts etc.

My question is, Have I done this whole parenting completely wrong? Is it too late to restart? Can I / should I start becoming a “tougher” mum? I have tried various reward charts etc and they work on short term then fizzles out

Help. What shall I do? My mum only ever patented me through hitting and punishment and I made an internal promise to never be like her. But seems I have gone to the other extreme and not been tough enough.

I’m worried if I put a blind eye to her behaviour now she will turn into an unpleasant child and eventually unpleasant teenager. I want to raise a child who is nice and adds value to society not is rude Or disrespectful.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
BlueEyedFloozy · 07/02/2020 09:09

Both of my kids are like this - I have a teen boy and 6yo girl - but my daughter is far worse in terms of attitude.

We saw a family therapist (my son is Autistic and this was part of his strategy) who explained that it's perfectly normal for kids to stick to the rules and hold it together when they're in a different environment then let loose at home because it is their comfort zone - you are their constant. It's a breaking free mentality.

Not ideal but it helps them cope by giving them an outlet. I guess we as adults were the same, I act differently in my own home but I have a strong concept of what is/isn't acceptable whereas a child won't be as empathic by nature.

You aren't doing it dong - your daughter is treating the boundaries and I'm sure it'll improve overtime. I just reinforce that there are boundaries at home and that we should not be disrespectful to each other as it's hurtful and try to discuss behaviour with them after everything settles down.

With that said sometimes I lose my cool with them (mainly DD as she's just a minime ) - end up raising my voice and arguing with her but that's all part and parcel with rough days!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread