Top tips for dealing with 9yo DD!

[flowerfairy]

My DD is about to be 9yo. I know that her behaviour is not particularly out of the ordinary, but sometimes I just don't know how to deal with it. This leads me to feeling exasperated and losing my temper (again not unusual for any parent)!
But what are your top tips for dealing with DD who has an answer for EVERYTHING?

She can be extremely demanding for material things, activities and my time. For example- she has just finished reading a book which has a recipe in the back for something that I don't have all the ingredients for which won't be cheap. I love being able to spend time with her and do different activities because we both value this time and she loves to be busy. But I've been explain that we don't have lots of money so the endless list she keeps asking for her birthday I have to keep saying that she won't be able to have everything on her list.
It just is particularly draining when I feel like I am repeating myself. DH is also beginning to find it a bit exasperating, though she nearly always comes to me to ask for whatever! How do I stop this! BTW I don't come out of the supermarket/toy shop with the latest toy.
TIA

My daughter is 7 and a half and she is like this. Whenever she sees her cousins toys, she always have to have them too. She has too many toys and hardly plays with them all. I make her promise me she wont ask for anymore toys, but again the same. I think I need to be more strong and put my foot down. I've stopped taking her shopping with me now to avoid tantrums.

Does she have any real understanding of how money works? Ie does she have an allowance or small (on top of regular chores) jobs she does to earn money? When i was about that age my mum used to pay me 50p per shirt of my dad's that i ironed, or 50p per window washed, etc. I still had to do normal chores like laundry, bedroom tidying, washing up etc for no money, and i still got pocket money as standard, but i was able to do extra bits to earn more. You might find if she has a better grasp of the concept of earning/saving that she'll be more accepting of when you can't afford things. Also, if she's saving her own money for things, she might become a bit more discerning about what she actually wants. Ongoing conversations about pervasive marketing techniques could be useful here too.