Dealing with unrealistic expectations

[namechangenumber2]

Hi all

I wondered how others deal with their child having unrealistic hopes and ambitions? Do you let your child crack on? Be honest with them?

What age? Crack on - if they’re 5 and they want to be an astronaut. If they’re 15, bad at maths and want to be a mathematician I’d book them in for careers counselling at school!

I was positive I was going to be a Ghostbuster when I grew up. My Dad was very supportive until I was about 11.

I agree with the poster above.
Options time for GCSE is a good time to chat about general direction; sciences or more humanities, to ensure they don’t limit their options, you can also talk about the grades you usually need at GCSE and A-level for various career/ university paths. At this point it’s more encouragement and awareness of the grades required.
Post GSCE you can repeat but you now gave a clearer indication of ability and probable A-level results. I still wouldn’t rule out options but point out the chasm to be breached if they got Cs and Bs and want to do medicine or vet science anywhere, or any other subject at Oxbridge, Durham, St Andrews, LSE, Bristol and the like.

It’s helpful to talk about grades rather than intelligence or ability, because it is less personal and it is an objective measure.

If a child is not academic, it is worth pointing out that many people who don’t achieve academic success do achieve in the workplace through hard work and non academic skills relevant to the job.

I taught English to
Immigrants and asylum seekers and I came up against this dilemma sometimes. It’s really tricky because you don’t want to crush someone’s dreams and limit their future, but I occasionally had wonderful learners from say Ethiopia or Sudan who had minimal or very disrupted education in their country of origin, through no fault of their own, with entry level English, in their late twenties to forties, with children, who wanted to become doctors here in the U.K.

I didn’t say it couldn’t be done, but did break it down in to smaller chunks; - getting up to Level 2 in English, then studying at an FE College etc. I also had to warn them that they would have to work and study at the same time and they couldn’t receive JSA (as was?) and not apply for jobs in the meantime.

Might need to know your example, OP.
Generally support their dreams & help them adapt the dreams when appropriate.