Probably me being silly but?

[moobar]

Arranged to meet another mum this morning to start swimming class with babies. She's been twice, I've not due to illness.

I had doctor first due to anxiety , she knew this.

She turned up at class with her husband. So I went home. she could see I had been crying, that's why we were meeting for cuppa first. He can do what he wants, but I don't want to go swimming with a family. I would just have gone myself. Why arrange to meet if he's just going to be sat watching? I don't get it but I just could have done with a friend today.

Disclaimer I've done lots and been there lots for her, not a case of me always being like this.

You say it was a swimming class so probably not the best place or time for a heart to heart. Her husband probably just wanted to watch their babies swimming lesson. Did you arrange to specifically meet to discuss anxiety?

We specifically agreed to meet for a catch up. Swimming is a small class with no real viewing area so he has to sit on the edge of the pool. Nobody else does that.

I don't know, just if I was meeting a friend I wouldn't take dh. Or would have said dh coming to watch lets meet another time.

I don’t think she meant to upset you but I’d be upset about it too. I don’t like it when people bring other friends/partners along to meet ups when it’s meant to be just you. They should really tell you do you have the option not to come if you don’t want to hang out with whoever they’ve bought along.

Had you dropped out the last two times you were meant to go? I understand where you are coming from but she probably thought you were unreliable and didn't want to ho on her own.

Thanks for thoughts.

No not at all. We agreed to go at some stage, she decided to start new year, we were away and then Dd unwell. It was just today we agreed to go together, meet up.

Doesn't matter really, just felt a bit flat and didn't really want to tag along with them. Just wish she had said

I think just crossed wires surely? And possibly the anxiety making this seem worse? Did you make it clear you wanted to meet up for a catch up as you are struggling with anxiety & wanted a personal chat? Even if she knew you had the doctors, did she know what about & that you may turn up upset? Maybe her husband got time off unexpectedly & wanted to come along last minute? Did you give your friend chance to maybe send hubby away for 10 minutes or at least to order the drinks etc? Maybe your friend feels nervous taking baby swimming with no help.. I always took my OH as I used to feel a bit stressed out at the thought of getting myself & DD washed & dressed afterwards!

You say you’ve not yet been to these swimming lessons - has your friend always taken her husband? As above, I always took mine as did several others in the class 🤷🏼‍♀️

I doubt your friend even considered it would upset you. Sometimes my my friends bring their OH to meet ups, I don’t mind at all, I like them. It’s just someone else to chat too and actually other halves are really handy as they focus on child & you can have an actual chat to your friends!

It sounds like you just both had different expectations. I don't really get the crying thing in the timeline. You arrived and were crying?

I think bringing her OH wasnt meant to hurt you. She probably just assumed he was welcome to come along, and thought nothing of it.

If you want to talk to her about your anxiety etc i'd probably be more explicit next time, rather than just saying 'catch up'. Personally id assume anyone was welcome at a 'catch up'.