Child care

[david118]

Hi all, just a quick question to the divorced parents out there. I have been separated from my wife for 2 years now and been living in my own premises for 1 year. I have my 2 children Boy of 13 and girl of 16 every other weekend from Friday to Monday and every Wednesday in the week.
It's a very tricky divorce and I am having problems with the ex over the child care arrangements.
My main question is do other parents pack all their children's items (mainly school items) for them ready for when the other parent picks them up. In my situation this has never happened leaving my 13 year old to pack his own stuff resulting in him always forgetting something meaning we always have to go back to the martial home to pick something up either over the weekend or on the Monday morning before dropping to School.
Now my ex wife is trying to change the child care arrangements, actually not trying insisting we change the child care arrangements (even though this has been agreed through our solicitors) so it's easier for him to go to school on a Monday morning.
I don't want this to happen as it not only eats in to my weekend with them but I feel will cause more problems going forward.

The above only really related to my son as my daughter has now left school.

Your experiences in similar situations would be much appreciated.

At the ages they are I would expect them to pack and unpack their own bags. How far is school from your house?

Stop going back to get things he’s forgotten and he’ll start to pack his bag properly. He’s 13. You’re enabling him to be scatty. At 13 he gets a say in contact arrangements so if he doesn’t agree with his mother’s suggestions he can say no. Cutting his time with you down because he can’t pack a bag properly is ridiculous.

Thank you, yes agreed I should stop going back to pick up stuff but that does cause conflict and when you don't see them much you just want to enjoy the time you have with them.
My house is 6 miles from the school and his mums is 2 miles.

Maybe a dumb idea but could you help him make a checklist so he can always make sure he packs everything he needs?

A checklist is a good idea. He’s old enough to start being a lot more accountable but that’s a helping hand till he gets there.

We expect DSD to manage her own stuff and she’s not 13 yet but we do prompt her. If she then forgets then she has to manage the consequences of that.

Thank you all, very helpful