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Too shy to protest?

2 replies

Puddleshook · 01/02/2020 07:53

My toddler is 20 months and goes to nursery while I work full-time. She's been going since she turned 1.

She's very outgoing and vocal at home - if she doesn't like something or want to do something she will make it very clear to us.
I've always thought she'd be the same at nursery, and while she did used to cry when being dropped off at first she no longer does that and will be passed to her key worker in the mornings without any fanfare (sometimes a slightly sad face, but usually no emotion).

However I'm wondering, do some kids just stop crying at drop off, not because they're happy to go now, but just because they've learned crying doesn't change the outcome and they have to stay anyway? (A bit like the theory that sleep training means the baby has learned you don't come, not that they've learned to self soothe?)

Also, the other day i arrived to pick her up and she was in a situation that I could tell she wasn't comfortable with. She was safe but she was coming back from a walk in a stroller type thing and she wasn't in a comfy position and had no way to rectify it herself. Yet she wasn't crying or protesting at all, just didn't look too happy. Is she too shy at nursery to "speak up" (in toddler terms) when she's upset? One of the workers said the other day "oh she's so good we don't even notice she's here most of the time". When I pick her up she's usually pottering about playing on her own, seems happy enough but is she just enduring the situation rather than enjoying it?

For what it's worth its a good facility on paper.

I know none of you know how my baby is feeling but my question is more, has anyone experience this type of thing before and has any advice for me?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
JiltedJohnsJulie · 01/02/2020 12:52

How do you feel about the nursery in other ways? What’s your gut feeling?

Puddleshook · 01/02/2020 15:34

95% of the time my gut tells me she's happy there. But sometimes I just doubt myself as aside from their updates through the day I only see such a tiny snapshot of what's going on. I would feel so guilty if she's unhappy and i can't spot the signs.

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