Why do I find breastfeeding so impossible?

[FrederickSinclair]

I have a 2 day old baby and breastfeeding is going almost exactly how it did with DS1 - not great! I really wanted it to be easier this time but no such luck.

Baby has a good latch (apparently) and seems content between feeds, and my milk has started coming in today, but it's so sore. My nipples are cracked despite using Lansinoh before and after every feed. It really stings so much when baby first latches on, though the pain does ease as the feed goes on.

I just end up getting so hot and flustered and then don't have the patience to settle/wind baby afterwards by the time the feed is done. I can't get comfortable when I'm feeding. Please stop me from reaching for a bottle...

Are they any local breastfeeding groups you can attend?

I don't know, but I also have a one year old so getting out and about isn't that easy at the moment to be honest.

Breastfeeding pillow really helps you to get comfy- or any pillow under the baby.

It does hurt to begin with - I found that stage tricky but it honestly gets better every day and after a few it's not painful at all.

My nipples were sore for the first 6 weeks it was so painful. Occasionally still is if LO has a lazy latch. You arent doing anything wrong. Maybe try different bf positions. Are there any bf support groups or lactation consultants in your area? Maybe they could help check your latch. Try wearing a vest top in doors and a cardy. I roll my sleeves up as I dont like my forearms covered makes me too hot. Also when at home I like my feet uncovered.

Give yourself time your little one is only 2 days. You will find your rhythm it just takes a while for you and baby. It doesnt happen overnight. Take 1 day at a time. Good luck with your bf journey.

This the hard part; getting breastfeeding properly established. Nipples are agony at first and then it passes and things get easier.

Hi op, first of all well done on making it to say 2. The first couple of weeks really are unbearable, I've been there and I get it

I've got 16 months breastfeeding experience and would honestly suggest going easier on the nipple cream. The skin needs to breathe to heal. This is what the breastfeeding counsellor advised me at a class I went to. Try to spend some time topless each day if you can and give your boobs some air (sounds weird I know!)

Do you have any support? Your husband / partner needs to be bringing you painkillers, water and cake! This really helped me and I found that having a piping hot wet flannel over my boob for 5-10 seconds immediately before a feed helped with the pain.

Is there a breastfeeding support group in your area? I've also phoned the national breastfeeding helpline a fair few times and they are really good too.

Good luck, I hope things work out for you.

Is it normal? I keep reading that any pain isn't normal and is a sign something is wrong with latch/positioning etc

Silicone nipple shields were the only thing that kept me breastfeeding. I didn’t need them for long but by god I needed them. That pain when she latched on!!!

I also find it so sore in the early days. Lansinoh does help but when my nipple cracked badly I used to sometimes pump to avoid engorgement and only feed from other side to feed baby. You can store the milk if you don't want to use expressed milk in bottle for baby yet. I just found pumping less painful than baby feeding on it and gave nipples a chance to heal a bit. Cabbage leaves out of fridge also relieved. Good luck.

Very normal! It hurt for the first 2 weeks for me - DS is 5 weeks tomorrow and it’s so much better now

Contact a lactation consultant if you can afford it. Or a La Leche League volunteer. They say it shouldn't be sore at the start but it does hurt! It's early days so get help now and it'll make all the difference

Jelonet gauze saved my cracked nipples. Literally amazing. You can amazon prime it.

Could you afford a lactation consultant to come to your house? It was so helpful for me, diagnosed a tongue tie and spent the afternoon showing me different positions, checking latch, showing me how to get a deep latch (watch YouTube vids on this if you haven’t already) etc.

Breastfeeding is so tough for the first few weeks - I’m doing it for the third time and those early weeks were still really tough. For me, the pain got better around 2/3 weeks, her mouth got bigger and therefore she found it easier to latch and we were just both more practised at it. Now it’s so easy and lovely.

Congratulations on your baby!

My nipples were never cracked or sore but it still hurt when he first latched on. My midwife just said to breathe through the pain and I’d say it calmed down after a couple of minutes like you’ve described.

Oh and congrats on the new baby

You can also get let down pain - makes your toes curl ! I got it first time but not the second, oddly enough. Was incredibly painful. Subsided soon enough though and really helped it if I could relax through it.

Honestly, bf is so hard in the early days, but I loved it both times once I got it established (although getting there was hell).

It’s a personal choice though - don’t make yourself ill over it if you don’t want to. If you are determined, there’s loads to try...

Different positions, hot/cold flannels, being topless, different creams, I have big boobs and really found it useful to have the baby in one arm and use my opposite hand to support the breast and move it to the baby (rather than moving the baby about iyswim) - might only work if you have a larger chest though, pillows, focus on the baby while feeding (helps with the let down hormones)....

Just get comfy in front of the tv and get people to wait on you. Early cluster feeding is a killer.

Good luck.

So normal - it’s not that you can’t do it it’s just that for some of us it’s sore and pees me off when people blame poor technique. Some midwives are recommending nifedipine for that pain& one Mom I know said it completely took away the pain.

Op it hurts. If it’s not the latch or cracked nips it’s hormones in disarray (and people really underestimate how sore they can be) - it does go away but the pain can be toe curling for a while. I always envied people whose babies just latched and off they went. I really recommend getting professional support (not just midwives/health visitors but actual breastfeeding experts) - usually hospitals have someone wandering around

Could you afford a lactation consultant to come to your house? It was so helpful for me, diagnosed a tongue tie and spent the afternoon showing me different positions, checking latch, showing me how to get a deep latch

This. Especially the bit about tongue tie

Have you tried different positions, 9Rugby hold, feeding when lying down, cross cradle, using a cusion. 2 days is very early. Are you sure baby is latched ok. Ask hv, do seek out BF group there maybe peer supporters who can do home visits. (I did.).

It’s only day 2 and although you have done this before remember it’s new for your baby. Keep going and follow some of the great advice on here. My only add is the lanisoh - put plenty on and let it dry in. I literally soaked my nipples in it and more. Good luck OP

Try different positions- rugby ball, laying down, relaxed feeding position.
For some people it will hurt. You’re not used the sensation and babies latch can be strong.
Multi mam compresses saved me, when I was in pain I would use them straight after a feed and it instantly felt better, I would highly recommend them.

Also if you’ve not seen a proper lactation professional then it would definitely be a good idea. SOME midwives/hv’s don’t give great bf advice.
Congrats and hang in there. You’re doing a great job!

My nipples were cracked and weeping on about day 3 first time round. Latching was toe curlingly painful, and left me in tears sometimes. By six weeks it was a lot lot better, but breast feeding in those first six weeks was harder than giving birth.

Sometimes it hurts. Ignore anyone who says 'if you're doing it right it wont hurt' because thats bollocks. Nipple shields, warm compresses, lansinoh, paracetamol, and the occasional glass of wine. That, and my husband, got me through and then one day at about 6 weeks in, it suddenly was easier, and suddenly bottle feeding seemed like a faff.

Second time around and my nipples are probably like boot leather, it did hurt, but only for a few days, and no cracking this time. i think my nipples basically had to condition and toughen up.

If you want to keep going, get your latch checked by an expert, consider some nipple shields, and plenty of lansinoh every single feed. And to an extent grit your teeth and push through, the pain wont last. But if it's making you miserable, there is nothing wrong with combination or bottle feeding. Fed is best, and happy mom means happy baby. Sounds twee but its true.

I've sent you a PM message -you can check...

no-one prepares you for how painful breastfeeding can be. I really struggled until about the 9 week mark...something then clicked and it’s now the easiest thing at 9 months. Setting short deadlines (telling myself just one more week) helped me continue. I also used nipple shields until about the 6 week mark, then weaned off these for day feeds then for the night feeds. Some professionals are against them but I had a great midwife who’s view was that if they helped me carry on breastfeeding then that was great even if I always used them. The only thing that helped with the pain was multi-mam compresses (nipple creams did nothing for me). Finally, the health visitor should be able to refer you to a breastfeeding specialist...sometimes they aren’t well ‘advertised’ and you have to specifically ask for expert help.

Cabage leaves really do help by the way. Perhaps expressing a bit to be less engorged can help attachement.