Overnight Access for a 22 Month old

[MumorDad123]

Hi All,

I have recently had to go to court to gain access to my son and the courts have asked us to sort it out between ourselves.

I've had a few hours a week i.e 7, my ex-partner was told to work towards overnight from this month.

She has decided to give me from 8pm to midday and drop all our day contact, i wou no longer have time to do anything with my son.

I actually, feel we would be better having longer day contact to start....

She disagrees and wont above hours as it doesn't give him time to settle and she wont compromise.

Any advice!?

My 22 MO wouldn't be leaving the house to go anywhere at 8pm so I find that odd in itself.

All I can suggest is trying it for a few weeks and seeing if she'll agree to longer once she's more comfortable with it.

You're going to have to be a bit clearer.

What does the day look like for your child, do you know how to do the bedtime routine successfully do they'll settle (different for each baby ofc!). Is baby still breastfeeding? Do they mostly sleep through the night? What is your bedroom setup for them - with you or their own room and monitoring?

Is she suggesting that you collect them at 8pm? How will it work logistically, most babies will be overtired and fractious but maybe there is a reason here?

I guess what I'm trying to understand is what have you done in practical terms to ensure the setup is as good as it can be for your child I.e. imposes least stress.

Why has your ex suggested 8pm-12 the next day?

(Apart from anything that means you can do overnight wakes, morning feed, breakfast-& a morning activity... Why are you not wanting to start with that and see how it goes?)

Unfortunately there's no set definition for overnight contact. It doesn't have to mean 24 hours, although I think it should. Every situation is different.
However, contact should only be restricted where this is necessary to protect the interests of the child. In fact, unless proven otherwise, the presumption is that involvement of both parents in the life of the child will be in the child's best interests. It is in your son’s interest to have a relationship with you, his father.
She must allow you 'reasonable' contact. There is no legal definition as to what would amount to reasonable contact; it will depend on the individual family and their circumstances. Contact starting at 8pm for a 22mo is hardly reasonable.
If you're getting nowhere negotiating between yourselves, try to find a mediator. If that doesn't work out i think the mediator can sign a form to allow you to apply to court for a variation.

Contact starting at 8pm for a 22mo is hardly reasonable.

But it entirely depends on the family setup and practicalities... What works for 1 family of office workers doing 9am-6pm weekdays in no way suits the contact arrangements for (say, to use my own best friend) two A&E doctors who work NHS rotas... An 8pm start might be a perfectly reasonable setup, but it depends on the child and WHY.