Will he ever sleep through the night?

[Pea2019]

Hi
I have a 13 week old baby who has wanted feeding every 3hrs pretty much since he was 3 weeks old. A couple of weeks ago he started sleeping 7-12pm and then 3hrly after that. The last couple of nights he has stopped doing the longer sleep and is now every 2-3hrs! The lack of sleep is really getting to me and my partner and i feel dizzy with it during the day. Before feeding of a night we try to soothe him back to sleep or see if he is hot/cold or needs a nappy change but 9/10 we will end up feeding him and he falls asleep on the breast/bottle!

I’ve tried upping his milk intake throughout the day to try to get him to sleep longer at night but its not working.

I do love him but i do have thoughts on a daily basis wishing i still had my life before him (i know that sounds awful),

Any advice?

Hes 13 weeks! Sounds pretty normal tbh. One of my kids fed every 2-3h until 10months old. There were short periods of sleeping through before that, bit it usually lasted a week or so and then he was back to feeding often.
Second child slept through from birth and had to be woken to feed.
Every baby is different, but it sounds very normal to me.

my son was 2 years 4 months before he slept through. was awake every 2 hours before that.
Your baby us still very small and only has a tiny tummy.

Each baby is different my first ate every hour and a half for months and months and didn't sleep through until 14 months (after sleep training)

Dc2 slept 11pm to 5/6 am between 16 weeks and 5.5 months then didn't sleep through again until 13 months.

Hes only 13 weeks old! My oldest first slept through at about 3years old. My middle.one was about a year and a half and youngest about the same. Every baby is different. Books and internet about baby sleep paint a lovely picture about babies sleeping through from about 6 weeks or whatever it is but it's bullshit for many people.

As others have said, he’s only 13 weeks old. I’m not sure what you read or were told that made you think it was normal for babies to sleep through the night. Sure you might know some one who had one of those magic babies who did it from the day they were born but that really is the exception.

My son didn’t sleep through the night until he was 2 years old. At nearly 3 he still wakes a couple of times per week.

He is so little! Sounds all normal at this stage; they need to feed to fuel their growing brains and short sleep cycles are their survival mechanisms. It is tough. My suggestion would be to employ a shift system with your OH so at least you each get a chunk of undisturbed sleep.

A baby that small should be feeding every couple of hours. They shouldn’t sleep through. A baby’s stomach is roughly the size of their palm, so that tells you how small it is and why they need frequent feeds. Babies that young cry because they need, not because they want so try to sleep train, which it sounds like you are attempting, is a waste of time.

Find ways to get more sleep, ie feed in shifts, sleep when he naps. This is normal for a baby.

Also if it gets really bad, look up night nanny or post natal doula

I did think I was going to open this and read about an older toddler - I have advice to give based on experience of one who didn't sleep through til he was 3... My other two children slept through much younger, the toddlers still up multiple times in the night are outliers and there's often a reason rooted in sensory or processing issues which you don't discover til much later, if at all, so I'd be wary of harsh "no nonsense" advice to a degree.

Sleep deprivation is hard however young your baby though OP

Yes, he will sleep through one day, as far as any of us do - actually nobody sleeps 8 solid unbroken hours, it's just most adults don't register the short micro wakings. Learning to sleep through is learning to cope with those microwakings and fall back to sleep without help.

At 13 weeks he's still supposed to wake for milk every 2-3 hours though. His stomach is absolutely tiny, milk is easily digested and he's growing faster than at any other point in his life.

You could get your partner to give a bottle for the first feed of the night and do all pre midnight wakings, and go to bed yourself after breastfeeding at say 8, or whenever he feeds around that time. Or whatever similar arrangement could work for you and his father. That way you get a longer stretch of sleep til midnight or later.

Good luck, it will pass soon but it's normal atm!

Look up 4th trimester

All this is completely normal

My one year old can wake 6 times a night still .......

My nearly 3 year old still doesn't reliably sleep through...13 weeks is pretty normal to still wake regular!

Mine was doing the same, would sleep 8 til 12 then would wake every 2 hours after that for feeds. He was starving and within a few nights of starting to wean he slept 8 til 5
He's 7 and a half months now and sleeps 6pm til 6am.

He will sleep more one day. It may not be through the night for a while but he will do longer stretches and you’ll feel better in yourself. Are you getting back to sleep quickly when he goes to sleep and managing to sleep in the day? If you can find ways to manage it and not expect too much of yourself on little sleep then it’ll help get through this. I used to go to bed very early about 7.30/8 at particularly bad times so that I could get a bit of sleep at the beginning of the night.
When you look back at this it will feel like a small proportion of time so just focus on one day at a time for now.

Are you not allowed to give baby a bit of food yet. ?

Mine are in their 20s we were allowed to feed at 12 weeks. But I know they change things. X

@copperoliver Weaning is around six months. Three months is far too young

@copperoliver no food until they are 6 months old.

The purpose of food isn’t to fill them up so that they will sleep. Food is fuel and babies need very different fuel from adults. Babies need the nutrients that are only found in milk.

They changed things in 2003, so 17 years ago now.

You've got a bloody long way to go if you're expecting sleeping through to come anytime soon!!
Try and get some help in the day so you can catch up on some sleep. Take the night waking in shifts, invest in some good ear plugs for when the other is up. Let each other rest on the weekends in shifts too. And in my experience, choose either breast Or bottle at night. If you're putting to bed on bottle then giving breast at waking, your baby is probably confused of the difference and hungrier because of it. I would personally choose bottle at night purely so your partner can feed and if you're using formula, fills baby up for longer but that's your call.

He’s 13 weeks old, not 13 years!

Babies aren’t supposed to sleep through the night to guard against SIDS. They also need feeding throughout the night. You shouldn’t be trying to soothe a 13 week old baby back to sleep without feeding them. They need to be fed!

My twins are 16 months and still don’t reliably sleep through. Without meaning to sound harsh, being woken up throughout the night is part of being a parent. Parenting doesn’t stop because it’s night time.

Actually find it astonishing how many people post on here complaining about being on their knees because their tiny babies need feeding during the night. It makes me wonder what people imagine parenthood involves Of course babies wake up/need feeding at night!

Have you tried hungry baby milk?

I also expected to read about a toddler (my son is 2.5 and still doesn't sleep through, wakes anywhere between 2-5 times a night, which I can't deny is a bit of a killer especially since I went back to work). I would say we seem to be in the minority with that at this age but all kids are different OP. As everyone else has said 13 weeks is still very 'normal' for multiple night wakings. At this age their tummies are still so little that they're not designed to feel full throughout the night.

Whilst I wouldn't be expecting to get a full night's sleep too soon I just wanted to recognise that you're struggling and that newborn stage is bloody hard! I never managed to 'nap while the baby naps' but I did find that making myself the odd cup of tea and doing little things to promote self care during the day did make the zombieness a little easier to bear.

Don’t use hungry baby milk. It has the same amount of calories in but takes longer to digest so the poor baby won’t get enough calories. Anyway a baby waking every 3 hours is normal for months to come.

When your baby/child sleeps through the night varies but maybe in a few of years.

Can I ask what you were expecting in terms of sleep before he was born?

Hi OP

You’ve got a few snarky responses here! I bet you’re shattered and I would be too if my baby was waking every 2-3 hours.

My only suggestion - is he draining the bottle and then hungry at the end of it? If so can you increase the oz so he is fuller for longer?

Good luck x

I didn’t know what to expect. First of my friends to have a baby and my new mum friends all have babies of a similar age As me and all sleep through the night