Hey ladies,
I would love to pick your brains.
My partner is divorced with two sons. When he and I first began dating, his youngest was three, and the elder son was five. After spending time with my partner and his children, I became aware my partner focused on being the 'fun' Dad, and didn't really discipline his children very much at all.
The youngest son has an explosive temper. The child would get angry and would punch his father in the face, and this action would only be corrected after several punches.
My partner also let the children stay up way too late, which also adversely affected their behaviour.
My partner isn't stupid, and he's an involved, loving father who has his children 1/3 of the time. The boys have their own dedicated room at their father's house, toys and other creature comforts. He evolved into being the fun Dad over the turmoil of the divorce. He was concerned his children wouldn't want to stay with him if he corrected them too much.
From the beginning, I have raised concerns with my partner regarding his parenting practices. I told him allowing a small child with a hot temper to punch you repeatedly sends a confusing message and should be dealt with immediately. I told him the boys needed more sleep. And overall I tried to get him to understand the children needed a bit more discipline because if this scenario continued, his children would have a difficult time peaceably interacting with others, and they would suffer as a result.
Over time, their routine has gotten better. The boys get more sleep now, which has helped behaviour considerably. The youngest still has a temper that's out of hand and recently he's been excluded from school from throwing a chair in his classroom.
My partner has been more diligent about correcting the behaviour of his youngest. I think a vital bit of time has been lost and the child is going to have a few difficult years ahead of him.
I can't offer him anything other than support. I have a daughter who's now a teenager, and there were plenty of difficult times when she was a toddler, but I buckled down and persevered. Certain behaviours warranted immediate correction and over time, she learned empathy and to respect others.
Have any of you been in this situation? Are there any books to read on the subject, types of counsellors to see or Dad centric groups for him to join so he can get a better hold on the situation? We're in Brighton.
Any help or suggestions are appreciated.