Just the four of us

[m30002]

Hi everyone,
It's the first time I'm posting here. I just want to know if there is anyone in the same situation as me and my husband.
Being a parent is a very demanding job. Currently I am a stay at home mum. I was working full time, but because of the situation we are in, I had to give up my job. I would not give it back for anything as spending time with my daughter is the best thing, but we are struggling financially.
What about help you ask? We'll, that is the subject of my post. We do not have any help. It is just me and my husband. My family live in a different country and to be honest they are no help, all the want me to do is send pictures. My husband family lives 5 minutes away from us (I mean cousin, aunt and even his mum), but two years ago we had a very unpleasant situation with his mum and my husband doesn't talk to her. Now I am pregnant again and there is no one really I can share it with. Even the milestones my daughter achieved. She's 2,5 and we just managed to take her of from breastfeeding. She finally sleeps all night and I'm am so proud of her. If it comes to friends it a funny thing. You really find out who is your friend when your like is changing. Since I got my daughter all my friends stopped seeing me. They all got no kids and I suppose that my life now is boring for them. I'm not bothered about friends, because they come and go, but I want to know if there's anyone in a situation like us?

Which situation? No help from grandparents or no friends?

My parents are close by but have ill Heath and unable to help. When DD2 was 2 weeks old DH spent a lot of his paternity leave sitting in the hospital cafe with DD2 while I was sitting with my very ill mother and popping back to and forth to feed the baby. Only know are PIL able to look after 3 year old for the occasional afternoon.

No grandparents or no friends to help.

Yes, I had four under five and no support apart from my husband who works long hours, often abroad.
You just have to get on with it.

I like to get pictures printed when we hit a milestone moment, like sitting for the first time, and send them to the grandmas.
It’s nice to share the big things with someone.

I was sending pictures everyday of my daughter, everyday, but that was it. No Interest to talk to her, if I didn't call there was a silence, I went to visit them when my daughter was 5 month old so they could see her and they never had intensions to come to me when she was born and its only 2h flight. I just feel they don't put any effort into knowing her.

I think there is a difference here between not getting help and sadness at your parents not having a close relationship with your daughter. I totally understand your sadness at not having your parents around to share the good milestones and form a relationship with them but if it's you don't get any help... You surely knew when you got pregnant that you and your H were in it together without family nearby (or on close terms) I assume you must have weighed it up and thought you were prepared to do this and have a child without that help.
I hope you get where i am coming from. You are now pregnant again which I don't quite understand given you have said you are struggling financially and seem to feel resentful that you don't get help from grandparents

Agree there are two things here... one is no help and the other is no one outside you and DH taking an interest. When it comes to help then you will find a way to make it work. I am a single parent with 3 kids and work full time. Yes there are sacrifices we all make but it works out perfectly fine for all. My kids are happy and so am I.

I feel the same about lack of interest though. My parents are dead and i have no siblings or extended family. There is no one to talk to really about the good and the bad - no one who actually cares and is invested in the kids. Friends are great to a degree in terms of chatting things through but ultimately they have their own families to focus on.

Maybe I did put it wrong saying we are struggling financially, it is very hard to live on one job, but it is not the problem i am having. We are coping and it is temporarily u til ill be able to go back to work. My sadness is actually the situation I have with my family and my husbands family that happened (with my H mum while I was pregnant), and my family after I had my DD. I am really disappointed on how w they really turned to be. In the end of the day we are a family, we created a family and its something we've been trying to achieve for over 3 years.... Its just really sad that while our financial circumstances changed so did the family if that makes sense.