Why do people insist on kissing your child ?

[Oldknees1]

I'm From an early age (birth) I made it clear that I really didn't like my newborn being kisses by family members/friends, Tom dick or Harry . Of course this wasn't listened to and now he is 2 years of age the in laws are still kissing him, although FIL suffers from the herpes virus and gets break outs frequently. I have suggested kissing him on the top of the head, or blowing a kiss, but my MIL kisses him constantly, while I sit there and cringe I'm not a lovey dovey person although I do shower my son with love and my husband.
Should the in-laws and others respect my wishes or should my son be kissed ?

Your fil has the herpes virus but you dry sit back silently cringing whilst he kisses your child on the lips and you nor your partner stop him?

He doesn't kiss my son while it's active ! I've checked with the health visitor and unless the sore is present it's apparently fine to kiss. To be fair he doesn't do it often it more the MIL. But thanks for he sarcastic comment.

Sorry I didn't make it clear they kiss him on the cheeks not lips.

It wasn't sarcastic, it was confused. If you don't want them don't it, tell them. If they keep doing it, move DS. If he isn't contagious and it's in the cheek I don't see a problem but you do, so deal with it.
Def teach DS is OK to say no to kisses or not give them if he doesn't want to one he's old enough to say so

Honestly I think you’re being ridiculous here OP, and I’m not an affectionate person at all. If no-one is kissing him on the lips, or whilst they have a cold sore then I don’t see the problem. People naturally want to be affectionate to small children, as long as they respect DS if he says no then it’s fine and you need to deal with your reaction to it.

DD is 2 and a half, family kiss and cuddle her, she’s just starting to not like it and sometimes says no and pushes people away or won’t go to them if they ask. If that happens and someone still tries to then I tell them to back off as she’s said no. Other than that if she’s fine with it then I leave it, I hate being hugged and I don’t want to project my feelings of it on to her if she’s fine with it.

I don't think I'm being ridiculous, it's just my opinion and my wishes but thank you for your comments.

Shut the front door! You are complaining that your in laws are affectionate to your child? I hope to God I don't get a daughter in law like you. YABVVVVVU.

I'm the other way around.

I wish family offspring would get out of my lap and stop kissing me particularly when they have a rotten cold and sore throat which they've passed onto me.

Adults are more likely to catch things from children not the other way round.

There's affectionate and then smothering him with kisses every couple of minutes. Not really sure why people can't answer without being rude on this site. Shame.

I think you are being ridiculous. It's not wrong for other people, the baby's own relatives fgs, to want to show their affections. If the virus isn't active there's nothing wrong with a few kisses (if the child is fine with that ofc). If you're not careful you'll end up pushing them away and that'd be a great shame for your baby.

I assumed this was going to be about strangers overstepping boundaries, but you're talking about your child's grandparents!

You need to unclench and let other people develop their own relationships with your child. Otherwise you are setting yourself and everyone else up for a whole lot of misery. And you're being silly about the cold sore virus, if he doesn't have a sore then your child isn't at risk.

@Oldknees1
I'm almost stuck for words. Why on earth do you want to stop your child's family from kissing him? You're weird.

If you're not happy with it stop it don't just there silently and bitch about them later. What's that achieving? Speak up and teach your kid about consent and bodily autonomy.

Why mention your fil having the herpes virus if he doesn't kiss your ds with a flare up and it's on the cheek?

Why don’t you want your DS’ granny kissing him? I think that’s very sad.

OP I actually agree with you and I don't like it either.
I have issues with germs and also hate having to watch my DD squirm when she is forced into a kiss she doesn't want.

I have asked my family and friends to only kiss her on the cheek. MOST of the time they listen

@MrsGolightyly
COVID !

I don't think youre being unreasonable, im really surprised by the responses. I think even if a sore isnt present its too risky on the mouth (i believe thats how it works? Correct me if im wrong). I would actually ask them to refrain from on the mouth kissing at all if it was me, in a polite way. It would be a shame if the child got it, they're stuck with it for the rest of their life. It's a bit selfish imo to risk it when it can cause a life long impact, and there are still other ways of being affectionate that don't impose a risk.

You don’t want your child’s grandparents to kiss him. How sad. I think perhaps you need to put your own aversion to being lovey dovey aside & allow them to show your son affection. Obviously, the cold sore issue is a separate matter. If your kid doesn’t want to be kissed, then that’s different but if they don’t mind, I’d suggest ifs just normal, grandparent behaviour. Mine hug & kiss my girls all the time. It’s lovely, she’s a very affectionate little girl copying all the affection she gets!

@violetrosemummy this thread is from January!

@ShalomToYouJackie I'm sorry I didn't realise you couldn't comment after a certain time. Noted.

You can comment after any time but saying Covid doesn't work because it was not a factor when this was posted.

[quote violetrosemummy]@ShalomToYouJackie I'm sorry I didn't realise you couldn't comment after a certain time. Noted. [/quote]
You can comment whenever you like. But as Covid wasn’t (officially) here in Jan your comment was entirely irrelevant to the OP.

@oldknees1 I agree with you I had it with my MIL! I hated her keep pulling my son to kiss him! You ASK a child if they want a kiss! If they say NO respect that!! They have a CHOICE! Everyone saying your over the top clearly have missed the point of why its bothering you. Next time put your foot down and say we dont kiss him without asking him if he wants a kiss. If your son says yes then fine but not many 2 year olds want to be smothered in kisses. Especially in this climate!