Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Dh struggling but so am I?!

2 replies

Fivebyfive2 · 27/01/2020 00:44

Hi, sorry for long post...

I have a 6 week old ds who is mostly breastfed, although dh gives a bottle or 2 in the evening normally, to give me a rest. Our son is mostly quite a 'good' baby, although he struggles with wind and doesn't sleep for long stretches (3.5 hours is the record) he isn't colicy and we can at least put him down without him screaming!

My dh is a gread dad, he is good with the baby, does lots around the house when not at work etc. However, he has struggled with confidence since day 1 and sometimes gets overwhelmed. This got loads better at around the 2 week stage, but last weekend his parents announced they are separating. I think this, coupled with the grind of being back at work fully kicking in, has thrown him and all this week it's like he's back at square one.

He's always tired, seems low and in the evening when he'd usually have the baby for a bit to give me some rest, he's been getting overwhelmed and tonight was crying because ds was crying / having an epic nappy incident (big poo, wee fountain, the works!) while I was in the bathroom. We sorted and settled ds together, then all went up to bed. Dh is now downstairs trying to sleep while I have ds up here.

I'm trying to support him as much as I can and make sure he gets proper sleep for work etc, but I'm starting to feel the strain of doing more and getting less rest myself. I try napping in the day but it's hard, when ds is asleep I usually use that time to eat, wash etc or he is in the pram!

I think we're in this weird cycle atm when we both don't feel like we can say how we feel because we don't want to offload on the other?!

Not sure what I'm asking really, but has anyone else had similar? Could my dh speak to our health visitor about how he's feeling, or is that more for just mothers??

Thanks, just need to to write it down I think!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
KellyHall · 27/01/2020 00:50

Your dh should speak to his GP. It is much harder when your dh goes back to work, even without this additional family upset. Do you have any other support: friends or family that can help you while dh is at work? When I was on maternity leave, I found myself making sure everything for dd was done and making sure dh got enough rest for work then struggling to look after myself enough as I don't have any helpful family or friends near-by.

Welcome to motherhood Flowers

Bluebelltulip · 27/01/2020 00:54

Having a child is a big change for both parents. The health visitor's I've seen have said they are there to support the whole family not just mum and baby so it could be worth giving them a call. Also talk about how you feel at a calm moment, you should both be able to say how you feel without worrying. 6 weeks is still early days yet and I hope you both find it easier soon.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page