What to do when you feel like this..

[Noshowlomo]

Hi all,
Bit of background, our daughter was stillborn 3 years ago and we TTC for 18 months after and now we have a son who is 10 months.
I love him sooooo much but today, I wanted to run away and I am so so angry. I’ve felt this a few times, mainly around 4 months and was diagnosed with PND and have been taking sertraline since.
I’ve got back to work full time and I’m constantly exhausted. I want to cry/run away most of time but do have good moments and my son is so beautiful and funny. I don’t feel as bad as I did before I was diagnosed but what do you do when you have days/hours like this. The urge to just get up and leave is so overwhelming! Again, not all the time but I hate having these feelings. I didn’t expect them as he was so so wanted after losing our daughter.
Is this normal, to have days where I just want to get the feck away from everyone and not be needed by anyone at all?

Have time for you. Talk to your dh/dp about what you are feeling and have your dh/dp take some of the load off you and pamper yourself like have a soak in bath with a glass of wine and read something you enjoy. I have felt like this when ds was 6month to 18 months. It gets better I assure you but always ask for help when you need it. I thought i could be supermum but we are still ourself even though we are mothers and we always forget that when we become mums automatically after birth. But the way I saw it after having a meltdown was if I am not ok, i can't look after my ds so i had to make sure i was ok to carry on even if it means having a shopping spree for an hour or two with friends,family or on your own. Or get your favourite book, go to your favourite coffee place and drink a good coffee or decaf, have cake and stay there for hour or two. hope this helps

I'm sorry about your daughter OP.

Have you had/currently having any counseling or therapy? That might help process your feelings, it's not the same at all but I was very angry for a long time after one of parents died, it's a completely valid way to feel. Are you making sure you get some time for yourself? It sounds like you're busy with work and your little boy but some time out might be beneficial as well.

I can only try to understand how you must of been feeling with your daughter, its a terrible thing to have to go through. It is right when you hear people say you do need time for yourself, I know its hard to find the time trust me i know I've have 4 kids all that are at home , maybe try telling someone just how you feel, you need to share your feelings to make it easier to you