Introducing formular to breastfed baby

[Waffle12]

Hi
My baby is 21 weeks and exclusively breastfed.

I have not had an easy breastfeeding journey, either with first dd or with my 21 week old. I managed to ebf 1st dd till she self weaned at about 13 months.

I have never felt like I have nailed breastfeeding, and ashamed to admit that I dont particularly enjoy it- but this is probably due to the fact I feel like I dont do it well.

I feed on demand rather than by a schedule. I feed until dd either falls asleep or comes off herself. However I feel like I am feeding really frequently sometimes. For the last 2 weeks I have her on me from like 7.30 till about 10 when she finally falls asleep properly and I take her to bed with me. Isn't she too old for cluster feeding? She seems to be sucking but not necessarily feeding.
Although she is gaining weight, she is slowing down, and over time has gone from between 50th and 75th centile, to just under 50th. The HV is not worried at all about this. However, it has got me thinking. Is she possibly not getting enough milk? Is this why her weight has slowed? Is this why she is nursing quite frequently, because she is only getting enough to take the edge off her hunger each time, and getting hungry quicker than she should? Although I can tell if i havent fed for a while, i never feel like my boobs are really full.

The fact that she is on me all evening, and waking a couple if times a night is getting to me. I am knackered and worried about my supply. I have tried expressing a couple of times, but never really get much out. Had the same issue last time, although I know this isn't necessarily an indication of a bad supply.

Am considering introducing a bit of formular- probably in the evening- to see if she seems to be more satisfied, and to get my DH to help out so I can relax a bit.

Do you think this sounds like a good idea? How do I know how much to give if it's just one feed a day? Struggling with the idea of formular as I feel like I should stick with ebf like I did with 1st dd, but am struggling a bit and getting a bit overwhelmed with everything.

Sorry if this is a bit of a rant, and not very clear in what I want to do-sleep deprived and stressed! Any thoughts or advice welcome.x

I'd personally never do it but if you want to give it a go then go for it. Your baby must be what - 5 months now? I doubt one bottle would affect your supply but I'm obviously no expert! Hopefully you'll get some good advice on here soon

Yes @firstimemamma just coming up to 5 months

I feel really conflicted about introducing some formular, but maybe it will improve things? Or maybe what we are going through is normal? Just feel clueless and tired at the moment, even though this is 2nd time round for us

Does your baby take a bottle now? You may find that she won’t take a bottle if she is not used to it.

Hi @ Selfsettling3

That is a potential issue in itself yes. Have not had the chance to try with a bottle yet as I have not been able to express a feed. So the only way we could try a bottle is with formular.

The only thing to do is to try her with a bottle of formula but don't underestimate the non nutritional benefits that breastfeeding gives her (ie comfort, soothing to sleep etc). She might not get this from a bottle of formula or ebm.

@Waffle12 it's hard to know what 'normal' is as they're all so different aren't they! Mine fed loads at that age but obviously that's just one baby. Try it if it's what you want.

My DD was mixed fed practically from birth. One bottle of formula a day. Usually my DH gave it around 10/11pm. I don’t know if it made any difference to her feeding or sleeping habits, but it helped my sanity as I knew I could get a block of sleep every night and also I could leave her if I needed to as she’d happily take a bottle.

So it’s really up to you if you want to try. It won’t harm her. It’s possible she won’t accept the bottle though

Good god, don't feel "ashamed" for not enjoying breastfeeding. Of course she'll be fine with some formula.

The responses on here go some way to explaining why you might be made to feel otherwise though

My girly is 6 months and cluster feeds in the evening. Much like yours, 730 till about 930, even though she sleeps then wakes.

I'm still feeding every 3 hours in the night, 1030, 130, 430....urgh!!

She has dropped from 75th to 50th.

She has 3 solid meals a day too.

HV said she should be sleeping through.....

It's just so hard to know. I've got no advice but wanted to let you know you're not alone!

Hi @BeautifulBirds

Good to know there are others out there experiencing the same-although I'm sorry u are also going through this.

Are u considering formula at all? Or waiting it out and seeing how things go?

I'm not sure about what the HV has said about sleeping through though! Have seen lots of other posts on here saying that their little ones arent sleeping through till much later than 6 months!

The night feeds on their own wouldnt bother me too much, it's just coupled with the increased fussiness and being glued to the sofa all evening that is really getting to me.

I've tried with the formula. Me and bloke are meant to be away over night next month. Don't think I'll be going cos girly won't take formula well and don't want to leave her with my mum when she wakes up so much, it's not fair.

I'm just rolling with it for now. She'll grow out of it when she is ready, I suppose 🙈

Hi there, my baby is also about the same age. I'm no expert but regarding the fussiness and cluster feeding, could it be a developmental phase or growth spurt? Maybe try and wait it out for another week to see if it gets better?

Mine is still waking about every 3 hours as well in the night and it's nothing unusual. I'd ignore the 'sleeping through'... my first born, also ebf, didn't sleep through till 18 months when he stopped teething! So I have very low expectations

All babies are different, some are 'snackers' or want more comfort from bf, not an indication of your supply imo. Neither is the centile drop - my DD also dropped weight gain recently but that I think is common among bf babies.

You're doing a great job, but if you want to give formula a try I'm sure a bottle won't do any harm! Just see how she takes to it.

Formula isn’t poison, it’s still ensuring your baby is fed. 21 weeks is an amazing achievement ebf especially for someone who isn’t having a great time of it! Goes to prove your selflessness as a mother.
If you need to at least get some time back to yourself for sake of sanity give it a go, if it works it works if it doesn’t well at least you can stop battling with yourself about whether you should or not.
Try not feel the guilt, I think a lot of it can come from judgement worries but unless those judging would like to offer their time glued to your sofa for you then you do what’s best for yourself and your family x

Thank you so much for your re-assuring responses.

It really helps to get other people's perspectives and experiences. I think everything is getting to me at the moment, and this is just the icing on the cake. Actually started crying to the HV at the weigh in clinic yesterday as just feel so overwhelmed. Someone is gonna come and see me for a chat next week. Feel like I am starting to resent my DH a bit aswell as it just feels like he has so much freedom compared to me. Silly things like he can put his feet up in the evening, or enjoy eating his dinner with both hands!!

She did start rolling both ways in the last couple of weeks, and I can see she is really coming 9n leaps and bounds at the moment, so you may have a point @Featherstep about the development side of things.

I think like you suggest I will wait until I have at least had the chat with the HV, and then maybe re-assess the situation.

I remember when my baby was going through a leap the feeds would increase so much in the evenings and middle of the night. I remember a massive sleep regression at 6months that I put down to a leap.
I think if you’re feeling tired and frazzled and overwhelmed you need to get a wee break.
That doesn’t have to take the form of formula it could be just leaving baby with your husband, would that be possible.
But don’t feel like formula is poison, however it’s not the holy grail either and often it make every little difference to sleeping etc. More often than. It the baby is looking for comfort and when you’re providing that all the time it can be very hard. Make sure you’re being taken care of.

Thank you @ savignonblancplz

Up until the last few weeks I could leave baby with DH if I needed to pop out, but she just seems so fussy at the moment and the only thing that really works is boob, that I dont know if she would last very long.

My DH is a wonderful dad, and couldn't love our girls more. But I dont feel very supported, as I dont think he really gets it and how drained this is making me. Have tried talking to him about it, but I really honestly just dont think he gets it. Maybe I'll try again....

They don’t understand at all , keep talking and make time for yourself.
Sounds like she’s going through a leap, do you have the Wonder Weeks app? Maybe wait until this fussy phase finishes and try with a bottle or formula or whatever, it’s so hard, frustrating and isolating breast feeding exclusively.
When it was tough for me , I would try and really connect with the baby, and force myself to appreciate it , knowing it will be over soon. Going to lie down and feed so that I could get some rest.
I really struggled with feeding my baby too. He was quite sick and I fed him much longer because of that and it was wonderful but very hard.
Is there a group you can go to, you might find strength in others too.

Sorry to hear you're feeling emotional and overwhelmed OP.
My DS was like this a lot, I remember the sheer frustration and wanting to scream to him to stop being so stuck on me.
In retrospect I found that every time we went through a particularly fussy and clingy phase, when I though I could take it no more and literally had enough, things would clear up and get better. Hang in there it does come and go.

I transferred over to formula after 6 months breastfeeding as I was experiencing painful arthritic symptoms in my joints and was worried it was going to get worse. Googling told me this may be caused by the breastfeeding hormone prolactin so decided to give up after 6months.

I felt very conflicted and sad at first, but have no regrets now. DD sucks down her bottles with enjoyment, her weight is good and fortunately my joints seem to be improving too. The only downside is preparing the bottles.

Before I gave up I did express for one feed so my partner could give her a bottle, if that feels like something you could do.

I moved over to one formula bottle a day a few days ago because DS (6 weeks) is cluster feeding on an evening with a posterior tongue tie so I'm on quite a bit of pain. We've found he's really happy and settled on the formula.
I'm like you, I haven't enjoyed breastfeeding particularly. I think that's probably quite common but not frequently admitted by women.

Thank u all for ur lovely replies.

Had a rubbish evening- fussy on me till about 9.30 when she finally fell asleep. Woke up at 3.30 for a feed which was good going. But then restless in basket from 5.30am. Tried to get her back to proper sleep but gave up at 6 and put her on for a feed, but then up properly at 6.30! I really dont feel like she is getting enough night sleep at the moment which could be adding to the day fussiness.

I will definately look at the wonderweeks app @savignonblancplz thanks for the tip. Do you have to plot things on it about babys development so far? Will i still be able to use it starting at this late stage?

Thanks for your reply @SmellyBeard I have tried expressing a couple of times but I spend ages doing it and hardly get anything out. This happened with dd1 aswell and I think all the stress of it was having a negative effect, so i said to myself this time that i would still try expressing, but if it didnt look like it was working i would just stop trying.

Thank u @Featherstep i think I will persevere a bit longer and see what happens. Like I said I have a HV coming out on Friday, so maybe I'll keep going till then and see if it gets any better.

Thanks @Vickisponge

Good to know ur little one is taking the formula well. Sorry to hear you are struggling with the tongue tie. Do you have an appointment to get it cut? Both mine had tt that was undiagnosed until about 4 weeks in and I was in so much pain. Getting them snipped definately helped with the pain.c

@Waffle12

No you dont have to do anything except download & put in baby’s DOB. It’s a game changer as it makes you feel like you aren’t going mad. There’s a reason why baby is all of sudden fussier etc.