What age to start Nursery Or Pre school?

[Newmum26]

DS started Pre school today he will be 3 in May.
He is doing 3 hours on a Monday & A Friday.
It was awful leaving him today I cried as soon as I got in the car and he cried when I left although I rang about half hour after and they said he was fine and playing happily.
When I collected him he said he had had fun, it was good and he liked it.
I just can't help keep questioning if I'm doing the right thing in sending him now or is 2 years 9 months too young? Is he too little?
My friends (one of which is a health visitor) have said that it will be good for him and do him the world of good as he will make friends, socialise and learn routine and how to follow gentle rules ie all together and eat lunch.
I'm aware that when they turn 4 he has no choice but to go to school, so my thoughts are that by sending him for a few hours now is preparing him for proper school next year or else it will be a big shock for him.
Any advice or anyone had similar feelings? What are your thoughts? Please help
X

I've had two children start nursery at 12 months. They were both happy there, but I don't think they benefitted from it compared to being at home either. Also, the second in particular was unwell frequently and generally found nursery days too long for the first 6 months or so.

However, from age 2 I noticed with both of them that it was beneficial for them to be there. They were enjoying it and coming home having learnt something or having different experiences, and starting to socialise alongside other children too. So I would say 2 is a good age .

Definitely not too young - he is just the age when children start to be a little bit more sociable, so a good time for him to start. It will probably take him a little while to adjust and get used to the drop-off. All the reasons your friends mention are completely valid. And the fact that he played there is a very good sign! I believe research suggests that nursery has disadvantages before the age of about 2 - 2 1/2 but is definitely positive after that age,

One thought: if he is only going for 3 hours on Mondays and Fridays, that's not a lot of time for him to get used to the routine and the other children. Is it at all practical/financially feasible to increase his hours (even on a temporary basis)? I appreciate that may not be the case.

Either way, please feel reassured that you are doing the right thing for him.

Both of mine started at 11 months. I started at 3 months. It sounds like it would be a great experience for him, but there is always an adjustment. It can take 2-3 months to really settle. So give him time.

But 3 hours twice a week probably isn’t enough time to easily adjust. Longer days might be easier.

Not at all - my DD been in nursery since she was 12 months (now 2y8m). She does two quite long days as well, 8am-4.45pm usually. Of course we had the expected few weeks of upset at first but I can honestly say nursery has been fantastic for my daughter. She’s come on leaps & bounds, absolutely loves going, is sociable, confident, has a little gaggle of friends & gets to do things I probably wouldn’t do at home - really messy painting, outdoors in the rain that kinda thing! It’s two whole days of solely child focused activities, what’s not to enjoy?

I only know one stay at home mum.. everyone else I know put their kids in nursery 2/3/4 days a week after maternity leave 🤷🏼‍♀️ It’s certainly the norm amongst my network.. if you can afford not to work, then wonderful but even then, at some point you have to let them go a little bit & let them learn to socialise on their own. Very important skills to making friends & generally getting on in life It sounds like he had a great time once he settled & that’s fab! Don’t let your worries stop him finding his wings & enjoying himself!

My DS has just started going to nursery once a week. He is 20 months. He cries every time and I feel awful, but they say it's normal for the first few weeks.

Both mine started nursery at 10 months old, 4 full days a week: 7:30-18:00. My eldest stayed at nursery until starting school. My youngest, reduced his nursery days and started half the week at the school pre-school when he was 3, which he's really benefiting from.

Assuming you don't need nursery for childcare, it is personal preference, but 2 of 3 seems to be common. DD started at 3.5. She was entitled to funded hours from Easter (March birthday) but the nursery we wanted didn't have spaces until Sept. She then went every morning, settled really easily and loves it.

It sounds like your DS is enjoying it so I would give him a while to settle and then he will probably love it.

I put my DS to playgroup 4 mornings a week for 2 hour sessions when he was 2 years 6 months. It was the best decision ever.

He is 3 years and 3 months now and started school nursery last week which is 5 days a week for 3 hours each day. He went in with no issues due to having been in playgroup for 9 months previously.

Even though he has been in playgroup all this time, I still cried when I left him for his first day of nursery as I cried when I left him for his first day of playgroup. It just seems to be one of those situations where you cry and there's no real reason for it, you're just being a mum 🙂

I’m a SAHM and I sent my DS to nursery for the 15 hours the year before he starts at school. We’re in Scotland so he started doing 5 mornings a week last August about a month after he turned 4

Last January we were still living in England and he started doing two mornings of preschool. I didn’t need the childcare and we were out and about every day at various groups so I wasn’t worried about socialisation. They’re in school long enough and it starts to young in my opinion so we were in hurry.

No hurry! Oh for an edit button.

Just to say, they don't have to start school until five. Most start at four, but it is optional at that point. Also, if your son was born in May you do have the right to request that he starts reception aged five if you wish him to, though the school and local authority are not guaranteed to say yes to the request.

Thanks for all your replies! So many valid points and good advice.
I should have said in my original post that I am actually a SAHM so this is what is making my decision even harder as I don't 'need' him to go to Pre school for childcare but I just want to do what's best for him and I don't want to hold him back in any way x

I stayed at home with our daughter until she was 3 and then she did two days a week (9-2.30) for a year until she started school this September. She cried every drop off and really did not enjoy it at all and I wish i had had an extra year off work to be with her. Our thought process of her going to nursery was that she would be more prepared for school but much to our amazement she hasn’t cried once since starting school and loves it. I really think she got nothing (but anxiety!) going to nursery.