11 yo DD still wet at night. Should I be doing more?

[TeaKeepsMeSane]

Hi All

Wondering whether anyone else's DC are/ were still wet every night at 11? My DD is currently in night pants which are wet every morning. She takes desmopressin when going on school overnights/ sleepovers which is very effective.

My real question is whether i should be doing more? Our GP has always been pretty chilled about it as his own daughter did the same and just grew out of it around 12/ 13. My best mates son was the same. So I've always played it down so as to avoid her stressing over it (not that she is chuffed about it! or unaware that it's a little unusual amongst her peer group),

Will she just grow out of it? Is it developmental? Or should i push for a referral to a specialist?

For additional context she is Y7 but August born and very petite for her age (age 9 clothes - built like a pipecleaner) and no signs of puberty (heaven forbid she's still in nightpants when her periods start :()

Any thoughts welcome.

Have you tried an alarm?

And yes, I think you should seek more specialist help

I'll tell you where we are and what advice we've been given as we are in a not quite identical situation.

DS is 11 and still not dry at night. He started desmopressin (June 2019) but stopped (Sept 2019) as it seemed to be affecting his mood. He has school camp in a couple of months, which has brought things to a head. I spoke to community nurse and went over the chart we had kept. She said if we were doing everything she had advised i.e.
Plenty of water through the day (at least a decent sized bottle)
Avoid orange and blackcurrant drinks
Pants on under pull ups at night
Double void at bedtime

If we did all that there was little else we could do, and if desmopressin led to some improvement but hadn't solved it, it is simply a case that his body is not producing enough of the right hormone at night (vasopressin?) and it will right itself - next week, next month, next year - who knows?

Nurse recommended speaking to GP and trying desmopressin again for two weeks, if it doesn't fix it, try doubling the dose. If it seems to be affecting mood or behaviour, stop right away. She also suggested chasing up a urology referral that had been made.

Long story short, it turns out urology don't see children for nocturnal enuresis if that is the sole issue. Not in our area anyway. So he's back on desmopressin and mood seems okay so it might have been other things affecting him back in September (new school year has been a problem before). It's better but not solved, yet.

When he is dry at night every night I won't know what to do with myself! Think of the laundry we'll save.

So I should say the upshot for us, there is no more specialist advice to be had. Keep doing what we're doing and it should resolve itself eventually.

My son finally became dry at 10.5. We similarly used pull ups and desmoprsssin for camps and sleepovers. Alarm worker within 10 days for him

@gassylady okay I'm coming round to the idea of the alarm!

Yes alarm worked well here too, only took about a week. Brilliant, well worth it.

Have you tried the school nurse? That's who sorted out the alarm for us.

My ex was wet most nights until he was 21.. he went for every test and scan possible, he tried alarms etc and nothing worked at all..then at 21 he just stopped. His 16yr old sister is exactly the same, but his other 5 brothers and sisters arent so who knows. Just try and keep her happy, knowing its not her fault. Sometimes it just happens

Hi OP. I wet the bed until I was 14. Alarms and medication did not work for me and I felt very ashamed of the problem.

I now work in child health and one of the services that are provided in our area is a bladder and bowel team. They see all children over 5. There can be many reasons for the bed wetting it is worth getting specialist assessment and support. Ask your GP to refer you. You can also have a look at the ERIC website, which has a lot of useful information for both parents and the young people affected. I guarentee that even if your DD is not talking about it or seems bothered, it is affecting her self esteem. FYI, I continued to wet the bed even after I started my period, which was particularly upsetting, so if it were me, I would definately be seeking specialist support.

Good luck and a big hug to your DD.

Boys here so slightly different as they're usually later, eldest not dry til 13, a combination of starting puberty and alarm. Younger boy dry at 11, same combination.
Wet every night until then, so she may just grow out of it.

Does he have siblings? My sister had a bed wetting alarm - it woke me too in the bedroom next door, and my brother across the hall. Be aware before using an alarm that her siblings, if she has them, may not be especially sympathetic and even if they don't say anything, shell know they know which is bound to be humiliating... My brother smirked and she got defensively very unpleasant with both of us for a very long time. Pretty sure my parents were blissfully unaware of the sibling awareness as they had an ensuite room downstairs...

Forgot to say the ERIC website is a useful source of information. I’m sure you already know to make the bed with two layers of sheet and protective (waterproof) pads. We were given our alarm on loan through paediatric clinic but friends bought a similar one via amazon

Honestly my DD is similar age, also extremely petite, and also not yet dry at night. There are a very few signs that she may be starting to grow out of it at last. Desmopressin also works for us for trips and sleepovers.

The interventions we were offered through the specialist clinic were desmopressin, alarm (which worked beautifully for a while and then relapsed), and making very sure she wasn't constipated. I would check the constipation angle out which is difficult when they're 11, and consider an alarm. But if she is well and developing typically in all other ways I think after that it really is a waiting game.

Very best of luck

Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply. I will check out the alarms and the ERIC website.

@thelongdarkteatimeofthesoul - she has a younger brother who is part sloth and could sleep through the proverbial herd of elephants but i will bear in mind. Thank you.

@TheFurryMenace i am sad to hear that your experience affected your self esteem and sad to think it may impact on DDs. Do you recall what it was that made you feel ashamed?

Many thanks again all x

My daighter was the same and we saw so many people about it and nothing worked. Our paediatrician said that for some children the hormone needed for night dryness sometimes doesn’t kick in until puberty. Low and behold, the moment puberty started she was dry and has never had a wet bed since!

I wasn't dry until I was 10. Unlike you my mother shamed me in front of the family, screamed abuse at me if she saw me drinking any type of liquid at any time of the day and allowed my siblings to pick on me. Sometimes there just isn't anything 'wrong'. Do explore all avenues with your GP but as some other posters have mentioned it may just be that her body isn't ready.

An alarm worked for our DD. She was thrilled with the alarm as it looked quite cool and she wasn’t at all ashamed. It didn’t wake anyone else. In fact I had to sleep in the same room to hear it for the first few nights to prompt her to get up. It took a few weeks to work reliably. We were told by the enuresis clinic to try it before the meds.

We tried everything (the alarm only woke me up!) and had waterproof sheets provided by the NHS. DD1 only grew out of it about the time she left home at 17. She is not the only person I know of that this was the way it happened. Follow the advice you're given and it will sort itself out eventually.

Our DD is 11 and has only become dry in the last year. We brought her to the Dr at 9, he suggested that we wake her at night before we go to bed, and again during the night if necessary. He told us to wait a few months then to go back if there was no improvement. The next step would be an alarm, and if that failed he would consider medication. We weren't too impressed tbh. Anyway for the first few months she still wet the bed, sometimes twice. After a while though she only wet a few times a week, then once or twice a week, until after about a year she was dry every night. Since about last summer we have stopped waking her last thing, and she hasn't had an accident once. It was slow but she got there in the end.

Thanks to this thread and @gassylady I got an alarm for DS (11yo) from Amazon. Best £30 or so I have ever spent in my life. There was a wobble after a week for some reason, then it got better again and he had 11 completely dry nights in a row, the best ever, just in time to go to school camp. I will make the £30 back in pull up pant savings and laundry in no time. Fantastic, might not work for everyone, but I wish I'd tried it years ago.

My DS wet the bed till he was 12. He had been going to the Enurisus clinic since he was 8. Tried the tablets and the alarm which didnt work.
He saw a new doctor who suggested he just drank more during the day (after we realised he drank very little) and that night he stopped!! I was sceptical but it was clearly what was behind his bed wetting.

I was also a bed wetter. I never stopped until I was 15. Alarm never worked for me and the desmotabs weren't an option back then. I knew how awful and upsetting it was going to bed knowing you're going to wake up wet which is why I never ever made a big deal of it (my mum used to make me feel bad by complaining about the washing or accusing me of doing it on purpose!).

We were told the worst thing you can do is wake them through the night to go to the toilet as their body gets used to going at night. I used to check on DS through the night but would lift him into my bed while I changed his only if he was wet so he wasnt left in a wet bed till morning.

Whatever happens or things you try, if they dont work your DD will still grow out of it.