Trying to get baby to nap

[SRK16]

I have a 16 week old baby who I am really struggling to get to take naps. This has always been the case, bar an amazing 3 week period where I seemed to have figured out a good (rough!!) schedule for him. I thought he was doing well with 1.5 hours between naps - less if he seemed obviously tired. However he basically doesn’t give me any cues that he’s tired. Occasionally he yawns, but other than that I can’t tell until he’s cross and upset.
The last few days he goes down for his naps but doesn’t settle and I can’t calm him. He is clearly tired and fighting sleep. If I leave him he becomes inconsolable, and my usual methods of settling - shushing, rocking, patting, white noise, cuddling are not working. He’s not hungry, not teething, in clean nappies.
My only thought is he’s not pooing as regularly so I don’t know if he has a tummy ache?
Any ideas.... really at my wits end as he’s so miserable and so am I!

4 month sleep regression. Don't leave him, he's tiny!

He just wants to be close to his mummy. They all go through phases of napping less well / less easily! Have you tried baby wearing / contact napping / pram walks?

The only way I can get mind to sleep is in the sling. My older DD would only sleep if I pushed her around.

Definitely 4 month sleep regression.

4 month regression can be just brutal. Nothing you can do but ride it out I am afraid 😨

To clarify by leaving I mean still in the room, rocking etc just not picking up- previously this worked well at nap time but I guess not at the moment. I do a pram nap every morning but maybe will have to try it for the others?!
I thought (don’t know why) the 4 month regression was only at night- good ( !?) to know it Impact naps. Would this also explain why when he does drift off it’s only for 10-20 minutes? 😭
I guess it’s just a matter of riding it out.... hope it’s not long term.

Buggy naps, always. Never stopped mine going in her own cot happily at bedtime, but buggy is the only way to achieve any daytime sleep.

I found that first nap needed to be earlier than I thought but would be. My DS was ready for a nap after 45-1hr after waking. What a life!

Buggy naps, car naps, co sleeping naps, sling naps, anything to get that sleep in! I used to get him ready for a sleep as soon as I saw a yawn because there was only a short gap between that and a meltdown!

when mine was that small (only a year ago but I barely remember half of it, not sure if it was the sleep deprivation in that time or if it was just so awful that my mind has blocked it out tbh) he would only sleep if in the sling (and often I had to dance about) or if I held him in a very particular way and swung him backwards and forwards - he also had to be near the radiator for that one to work for some bizarre reason. White noise helped a bit.

4-6 months is a period of survival. Just do whatever will get you the most rest. Sling, swing, pushchair. Whatever.

Signs of tiredness should be a mandatory pre-parenting class, it is cruel that we are left to work it out for ourselves in place of being shown how to put a nappy on in antenatal classes, as though that's not completely self-explanatory!

I noticed mine have had different signs of tiredness, inclusive of putting head to one side, hitting self in head (trying to rub their eyes but missing), tugging at their peach fuzz hair or at my haystack hair, rubbing their hand rhythmically against anything, sucking, staring, long blinks, yawning (late stage cue), jerky limb movements, tugging ears, whinging or crying (very late stage cue). I've perhaps forgotten a few as they're older now, and as mine were both different I'm sure there are others as well.

The earlier I caught it the easier it was to promote sleep for them, the later the cue the more resistant they were to sleeping. Noticing their sleep cues really helped with setting their routines as personal to them over time.

Sleep regression is a bitch. Good luck.

Fully agree with a pp that 4-6 months is about survival. I found this period the most challenging for sleep deprivation. This too shall pass. It won't be long term, I promise! Just do what you need to do to survive.

Mine is almost 5 months and my secret weapon is gripe water and rain noise. Obviously might just be baby dependent, but I dip his dummy in gripe water if he gets fussy/spits his dummy out after I initially put it in. The taste keeps it in his mouth long enough to pay attention to the rain noise and a trance like sleep inducing state follows.
He too much of a lump to rock to sleep, so it works out great for my arms

I did controlled crying with my dd, took longer for her to master napping in the day.

If she was safe, fed, clean in cot then i woulf give her a chance to self settle, have a whinge, distract herself whatever before falling asleep.

Download the wonder weeks app. Baby will be either going through a leap or a regression. Either way just needs to be close to you, it wont last long just be there and catch up on sleep where you can.

My little one is 16weeks too! Get yourself a sling ASAP! They love them, mine is happy either peeling out and watching everything and then when he's tired he'll just go to sleep. If I have to try and do it in the cot it's the same story as yours and just takes twice as long. Fingers crossed for you!