Nursery worries for 19month old

[Poppy1989]

Wondering if anyone can give some advice.

My child is 19months and just stared nursery for 3 mornings a week. But over the last 3 weeks they have been telling me he's upset and not wanting to join in or eat anything.
It's breaking my heart to hear that he's been upset and on collection today he was very upset (sobbing) and clung to me more than he ever has done!
When home I noticed his hands were dirty (from outside mud ect) and had a dirty nappy! Two things he doesn't like at all. It saddens me that he's so upset there and maybe if they had paid more attention could have been avoided?!
It took me over an hour at home to calm him down and comfort him!
He's also had a bad cold from there (which I understand is normal) but today they told me that they have a bad sickness bug going around (they only old me when I collected him and not before)
Should they have told me this before?!! Don't see how it's not something I should be informed about!?!
Iv tried to talk to the manager but told she's not available till tomorrow.

I don't want to send him tomorrow now but also don't want it to put him off ever going to nursery again!!
Just any advice would be great thank you!

Sounds like you have concerns about his care. If you are not happy change nursery. I would not mind dirty hands from the outside but unless he had just filled his nappy that minute I would not be impressed. If the staff are saying he is unhappy, do they say what they are doing about it?

@NoMorePoliticsPlease

Some of the mess on his bottom was quite dry so I think it had been there a while! They had obviously changed him once in the morning as his poppers weren't done up properly but i think this nappy would have been on a good while! All they said is that he was tearful all day, said "maybe he's tired" and then said they have a bad sickness bug going about! He's only had a few sessions there as he was ill last week so didn't go in. Really unsure what to do, my first thought it to get hold of the manager ASAP!

Does he have a key worker? Could you start again with settling in sessions building up the time each day? Does he have a comforter he can take in. Or is there a song you sing that settles him etc

Our nursery send a sheet home every day that days what he ate? Nappies,what he played with and anything else important.

Hi my two year old son has just started 3 mornings a week too and he is having a little difficulty with being left but I ring up after an hour an they reassure me every time he's fine then on pick up he seems happy and eating there has been on and off but they've said that completely normal to begin with.
However, in your case I think the dirty nappy isn't acceptable. I've certainly not had that, your poor boy must feel very uncomfortable with a dirty nappy like that. Is it particularly over crowded nursery?
I would absolutely try talk to the manager and if you aren't happy still then move his care. You won't feel relaxed and happy worrying about him being there if your concerns aren't addressed

My 15 month old has been in nursery for 6 months now. The sickness bug wouldn't worry me actually - there is never NOT something going round at my son's nursery!

The muddy hands aren't ideal and I wouldn't be too impressed as my son has his fingers in his mouth constantly. I would have liked them to have had a wipe or at least a quick attempt at a wash as a bare mininum even if not perfect!

The nappy is what would worry me though. In 6 months, 3 days a week, I have never had my son handed over to me with a dirty nappy. If he's been upset at nursery, was someone holding/ with him? And if they were, surely they would have smelled the dirty nappy? And if nobody was close enough to him, why not, if he was upset?

I'd maybe have a quiet word with the nursery manager and explain your concerns. But I'd phrase it as wanting 'advice' as your son clearly isn't happy, rather than as a complaint. If things don't improve, consider moving him. You have to be happy with the childcare provision and you need to know your child is being well looked after.

@lancslass17 He does have a key worker but it's never her who speaks to me about him on drop off or collection. His teddy is always in his bag but they said he didn't want it yesterday. When I turned up he was crying on his own on a chair. Which broke my heart straight away.
No information has been given to me yet, as they said they still haven't got round to the online information log yet!
The nursery has a good ofstead report and 5 stars reviews but I'm struggling to see it.

He also had terrible nappy rash yesterday evening (I'm guessing after being in a dirty nappy at nursery) and this morning he now has diarrhoea!!
I get that children pick stuff up from other children but it's making me sad seeing him unhappy and unwell.

@Lana1234
I picked a small nursery group, so only 9 children ( hoping it wouldn't be overwhelming) and also thought this would give him more one on one time too with his keyworker! I feel awful that he's unhappy there and. Or sure where to go from here.
They didn't say how long he had been crying but I'm guessing he would t play or eat because his nappy was dirty! I feel they should have checked his nappy just to rule out a reason he could be crying!

@surreygirl1987

They say the promote good hand washing and when viewing the nursery I explained that he's very keen on hand washing as he teach him to wash them once we've been out and express food! So not happy that they hadn't even wiped or rinsed them at all! (As soon as we got home he pulled his sleeves up showing me he wants to wash them) very upsetting that it had been annoying him!

When I arrived and walked up to the building, he was sat on a chair on his own, just dangling his feet and looking very sad! If he's a bit grumpy at home and I haven't smelt his nappy I always check as I know he hates being dirty and won't play unless he's clean (I mean who would)
He now has nappy rash also, which he never has! So I'm concerned how long he was on a dirty nappy whilst there!!

Will be calling them again today and speaking to a manager! On paper it's a great nursery which is why I'm confused this has happened!

Between my two sons I've experienced three excellent settings (one nursery, one preschool and one childminder) plus one less excellent nursery. The tummy bug/diarrhoea is rubbish but just one of those things that goes around whenever kids are together regardless of hygiene levels so that wouldn't bother me. The dirty nappy being on a while would bother me at a nursery - the two nurseries and the preschool have always been very diligent about changing nappies (change more than I would). Also the being on his own. They shouldn't be making it your problem that he's upset, it should be a case of working together to manage it. They should be saying 'weve tried x, y, z, perhaps you can work with us to do a,b and c, what do you think?' I hope it gets better -they do get ill a lot at first though.

Ps I would always take Ofsted reports and parent reviews with a large pinch of salt....

Yes as a teacher I would also take reviews and Ofsted reports with a punch of salt. And remember it only takes one poor or lazy staff member to lower standards massively.

As PP said, the tummy bug is a shame but it's totally normal for them to be pretty much constantly ill when they start nursery. My son is always on and off picking up bugs!

However your comment about him sitting on a chair crying on his own is really sad. I'd be very concerned if I went to nursery and found my littlw boy sitting crying on his own, ignored!

Only 9 children, wow! Like you I would have assumed close individual attention buy I guess that's not always the case. My son's nursery is massive but I've always felt like he gets looked after really well all day long and gets pretty much constant attention. Their ratio is 3 children to 1 adult in his section but they usually overstaff so the ratio is generally even better than that.

I'd probably be thinking seriously about moving him to be honest or you'll always be worrying. I'm sorry you're having this experience.

Ps if it helps, both nurseries I used changed all the children at approx 9, 12 and 3 plus obviously extra if dirty. Preschool change twice I think but it's a shorter day.

Does he have to go? If not, maybe revisit when he is older.