Year 7 blues

[Clarissa69]

Hi everyone. Just in here really to see if anyone is going through the same angst. DS started year 7 last September and he was out in a form with none of his primary friends. He’s struggling. He says he doesn’t fit in and that no one likes him. He’s the most unpopular one (I don’t care about popularity but you know how it is with this age group. He was in tears again last night. We’ve been in to school and suggested a new form group but they wanted to try and help him in his existing one - I get that but it’s not working out. He’s made one friend in his form and we’ve tried to help by having him round at Xmas for a bit of bonding for them on the Xbox. Honestly this is so unlike DS who was really well liked and happy. I just feel a bit helpless. Kids are so mean to each other aren’t they?

I didn't have any friends at senior school until year 9. it can take a while.

what is happening with special interest clubs and societies?

how much is 'setting' going to start mixing up the year group for lessons?

is there a "house" system across different forms with opportunities to get to know others in your house who aren't in your form?

there is no rule that your best friends at senior school need to be in your own form group. changing form groups doesn't need to be a step to finding potential friends - there are other ways.

what kids very much are is completely self-obsessed. your DS may honestly not have noticed that 2 or 3 of the kids in his form group are hanging on to the periphery of one of the clusters of acolytes around the small number of charismatic extrovert types, but aren't really happy there and don't feel they have 'proper' friends. it is all still very early days and the clusters of friendship groups that formed in the first term are not set in steel.

Thanks for this. Yes you are right it is those extrovert types. I’ve just suggested that he join a couple of lunchtime clubs - I’m hoping he will. We are going to talk again to the school to see what else can be done. And yes it is early day. Just hate seeing him feeling lonely.