Baby sleepover

[KAB1291]

Just asking options on whether I'm worrying unnecessarily or not (the answer to this is typically yes lol)

Due my first baby in 13 weeks and I'm feeling a lot of pressure from my family for several reasons. They're generally very opinionated (on my choice of pram, names, style, nursery etc generally everything lol) but at the end of the day, it's my baby, my house, my pram, so I do whatever I want anyway and just take the grief I get for it lol.

My dad has recently started putting pressure on me to have the little one over night, however I'm planning to breastfeed and generally not keen on the idea of having him away from me for a few hours, let alone overnight.

Am I just being hormonal and overthinking every situation?

Has anyone had a similar situation? How did you deal with opinionated grandparents? X

Tell them it’s a very kind offer and you will be the first to let them know when baby is ready for a sleepover. Repeat for the next 7 or how ever many years.

Don’t tell them anything you are planning to do.

Its a personal decision, I didn't have a problem with family having my Dd's overnight. My sister had dd2 at 3weeks.
If you don't feel comfortable then just say no thanks.

Your baby isn't going to be here for a few months so I'd suggest trying to laugh off comments about things like sleepovers with a, "thanks for offering, I'll get back to you once we're ready".

In terms of names, nod and smile then say you've got lots of your own ideas. Lots of people get excited when a baby is on the way and show that by offering ideas and opinions. It doesn't mean they expect you to take them all on board. We deliberately didn't tell anyone the names we were thinking of for our DDs so had lots of people suggesting things in an attempt to guess.

My MIL drove me crazy with this. DD was her first grandchild though, and she started to see the reality of it after a while. DD is 19m now and she still hasn’t had her overnight.

Just smile and ignore.

My baby is 15months and the thought of letting someone have him overnight makes me anxious

Saying no is fine. Honestly. Take the power back for yourself. Mine didn’t stay anywhere until she was about 5, and the youngest 2 and a half. I breastfed too, and there’s no way in hell I’d have let my under-1 year olds away overnight. They’d have starved 😂. Just say no. Who cares what they think anyway. Stick your fingers in your ears and go ‘lalalaaaaaa!’

I think grandparents get swept away thinking of these great sleepovers with midnight munchies and building forts - but forget that will be in many years time and that a little baby just wants it's mum. Lots of great advice here, good luck

Say 'aww thanks that's kind but I won't be wanting baby to sleep apart from me for a long while! I'll let you know when we are ready if you're still up for it!'

Haven't even left mine with my husband overnight yet. 9 months. You'll be surprised I think at how little you want to leave your baby. If you do want to, great. You won't be able to leave an ebf newborn though; they feed a lot for the first couple of months!!

Agree with all the pp. Having answers for the requests helps like the "we have our own name ideas" etc. With regards to breastfeeding some people like to say you should move onto formula or express so they can "help". It's not helpful as you have to express sometimes for longer than it would take to actually feed, wash and sterilise equipment, not to mention that it can mess around with your supply in the early days/weeks/months. Being fed directly from breast, when possible, is best for baby as there's a feedback to establish right amount for next feed as well as supporting their immune system as it requires at the time. Can't do that the same from expressed feeds. Everyone around us chose formula feeding and have been happier to have dc babysat or overnights quite early on etc however while breastfeeding i think my hormones are telling me i shouldn't be away from him too long and this is quite natural as I'm his only source of food and a main source of comfort. Good luck with everything! Sorry if i haven't made much sense but baby had me up all night 😂 totally worth it though!

Plenty of time for sleepovers when they are older and it'll be so much more fun for all ... and for you too as you'll have a rest and a sleep in!

I didn't leave my son overnight until he was over a year old and that was just with my husband! When the baby is actually here it will all seem different... for everyone.

Thank you so much to everyone who has replied. I'm glad that I'm not the only one that dreads the thought of being away from their baby overnight.

This is my dads first grandchild too, and he missed a lot of my childhood, so I understand that he is excited. They (him and step mum) genuinely don't understand how much pressure they add on to me by telling that I should have done certain things by now, asking why things aren't done or bought etc. To explain, we are moving house 5 weeks before baby due (unexpected pregnancy and my house is waaay to small for all 3 of us!) so we haven't ordered any nursery furniture, although we have one or two in mind.

In terms of being opinionated, we have picked a name, but refuse to tell anyone, but at least once a week, we get a text/slipped into conversation that they "need" to know (for whatever reason such as to personalise a gift etc) but we refuse to budge.

As soon a as we told them we were expecting, they asked if they could buy the pram, and we said yes that would be lovely. But now they are refusing to pay money to something that they don't like and we have VERY opposite styles. So we went and bought our own, which almost resulted in WW3 and the worst guilt trip you could imagine lol.

I've actually text them on several occasions telling them that what they have said/done has upset me and stressed me and said that I understand they they have my best interests at heart, but they are soooo persistent.

Thanks all who read my post, I feel like I just needed to get a good moan off my chest and check I wasn't being stubborn and petty lol

He missed your childhood? Why?
He doesn't get to play dad with your baby to make up for being a crap one to you

You'll know how you feel once the baby is here. A relative of mine had both grandchildren from 3 weeks old to give the mum a rest. I personally didn't leave DS at all until around 7 months and not overnight until 17m.

You have your own family now, you don't need to ask your dads permission to do things a certain way. You certainly don't need to rush on nursery furniture! It's a nice idea to get the nursery ready but it's really not required until they are ready to be in om their own usually around 6m. Enjoy the time you have left and sorting things for the baby and don't worry about not being prepared. I'm due next baby any day and all they really need is somewhere safe to sleep and some nappies and onsies. The rest can be purchased as you need it.