Routine

[Aleshia31]

Hi there I'm a new mum and looking for some advice ! My LG is almost 5 weeks and I understand that she is too little for a routine yet but I'm wondering...
How do people stick to a certain routine ? Like times and stuff without going a long period of time without a feed I mean like the first night you decide a routine ? Just wondering as my LG wakes up at different times during the night for a feed so surely this would knock off the times of a routine ?
Just something I have wondered recently !
Any advice would be great on how to start setting one.
She takes 5oz every 4 hours and always wake between 5&6am from her 11/12is bottle ( like I mean skrb the different times )
Thanks !

Routines in books are often written by a person who has strong opinions but has done no research and often hasn't even had a child if their own. Books that give very prescriptive routines have been linked with PND. It's hard to enjoy your baby if you've been given a very fixed idea on what baby should be doing and when and the baby has other ideas

If she's feeding every 4 hours, she has found her own routine surely?

If you want a book that is based on research and isn't prescriptive, try Baby Calming by Caroline Deacon.

Hi OP

We're just moving your thread over to the parenting topic.

My second is in more of a routine as she has had to fit into family life.

So have to get up at 7 to get ready for the school run, as we cosleep she wakes up then. Then she falls asleep on the school run. I have to started feeding her again about 11 as she needs to go in sling again at 11.30 for nursery pick up. Ideally she needs to be awake at 6 for bath time so I make sure she naps before then or if she has a later afternoon nap then I keep her up. That’s it.

At that age I would look at at structure rather than a routine with set time. Maybe look up the EASY routine. Remember at that age they will only be awake for 60 to 90 mins at a time.

If she drains her bottles then you should be offering more milk.

Thanks guys but what I mean is .. because she's getting up at different times all the time does it matter that she's not fed the same time every day ? As she is a little chunk my mw told me that once her last feed at like 11/12 at night just let her sleep so some times she gets up at 5 sometimes 6 so it varies day to day. If it's bath night it's the feed before bed and pjs on then too :)? Just looking for some reassurance really thanks !

It's absolutely fine that she is fed at different times each day, really don't worry about that. I've always done the feed after the bath but that's what suited us as they fell straight asleep after the feed.

There's no right or wrong with it really, just do what suits you and your baby.

Like "Self" said, her second fell into their own routine and it seems like yours is doing that too

My 9mo is in a lovely routine, but I could have written this post to begin with! Follow your baby's lead and routine will come with time. I stressed over getting my DD into a routine from early on, but until they're a bit older it can be hard, as at 5 weeks really they just sleep and eat on demand.

I use an app called huckleberry where you log babies feeds and sleeps and I found that really helpful (it also suggests ideal times when to put them down for naps which can sometimes be helpful) and found she had actually went into a routine quite naturally, although for the first few months she was the same as your DD and woke at different times.

I think most new mums feel like they should have some routine when actually just getting out of PJ's some days is an achievement!

I followed DS's lead and he settled fairly quickly into a pattern of wake ups, feeds and naps. Did a few tweaks if we had baby groups or classes to go to but I mostly just watched him like a hawk for sleep or milk cues!

Thanks so much guys x I'm just worried that people think it's strange she doesnt have set times for bed or any thing but like everyone had said she is still young so I'm sure that will come x and we don't get up at the same time every day the why would they lol
I'll just stick to her bedtime feed being 11/12 the now and see how that goes :) it's all just so worrying that people think your a bad mum!

We always woke ours at 10.30/11pm for a feed and a bum change. We then responded to any night feeds after that as they woke so not routine.

I used to generally time awake periods so at 5wo on them waking from a nap "right that's 30 mins before I try for another sleep, bum, chit chat, cuddle, milk, sleep" and repeat.

As they grew it'd stretch to 45 mins/1 hour/90 mins etc.

Books focus on routine being time and duration dependant.

As long as you do the same things every day around roughly the same time,at whatever time suits you/her then that's a routine.

Changing nappies after every nap is a routine.

Feeding before sleep and first thing in the morning is a routine.

Bath every night is a routine.

You get the point.

She'll eventually start following her our routine OP. My DS just started having feeds and naps roughly around the same time each day then a few weeks later it would change. It amazed me that he was suddenly regulating and deciding what he wanted to do a bit more rather than just sleep.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz This is what I mean though you say you woke your little one for a sleep did you do this regardless of what time they had previously eaten ? Like even if it was an hour before ? Or did you try stretch the previous feed out type thing x thanks for advice x

You don’t need to worry about what others think. As a mother you are never going to be a situation where everyone agrees with your parenting.

The only feed I woke them for was the 10.30/11pm one. And yes, every time. However their last feed was usually before 8pm.

You don’t need to worry about what others think. As a mother you are never going to be a situation where everyone agrees with your parenting.

This is parenting in a nutshell. If someone thinks you are a bad Mum for responding to tour baby's needs, you might have to reassess your relationship with them rather than how you look after your baby

Thanks everyone ! I juts feel a bit disheartend when people say their lo has certain times, like do they not differ slightly when you are out and about or am I wrong for letting the times vary day to day lol thanks for your advice xx

Don't get too hung up on it (I know I stressed about a routine far too much and shouldn't have) just do what works for you and your DD.

We have a pretty good routine but times still vary, her naps last different lengths of time and if we're out she'd sometimes have an extra nap in her buggy etc.

Also personally I wouldn't wake her at all if she's only waking once in the night for a feed, thats so normal at her age. We tried doing a 'dream feed' for a while to see if it would make DD sleep through but didn't work.

The only routine I ever had was with sleep. As in awake times, not set sleep times. Nap time would be affected by what time my son woke up that day. It's always been fine. So long as he went to bed somewhere between 6-8pm I was happy. The less naps they have and the longer they can manage awake the easier it is to get a consistent bed time.

To explain a bit more, once they can manage say 4 hours awake it's a lot easier to just stretch them a little bit more to reach bedtime. Rather than when they can only manage 1 or 2 hours and will become overtired if kept up too long. So like pp has said try not to worry about an exact time.

Thanks everyone ! I juts feel a bit disheartend when people say their lo has certain times, like do they not differ slightly when you are out and about or am I wrong for letting the times vary day to day lol thanks for your advice.

In my experience, the Amun's I met like this could be the ones who were struggling the most. My DSIL was like this and my DN did not sleep through until she was 7, that's years not months.

Also, it can be isolating. If your baby book says that baby has to be in its own cot with blackout blinds at the windows for all naps and your friends with babies all go to the park at the tome baby naps, are you going to stick to your baby gurus advice on the book or relax and have a nice chat with your friends? I know plenty who have chosen the book and become rather lonely.

Yeah that's is very true ! I always change her into pjs at her 7/8 feed then straight into her basket at her 11/12 feed so I suppose we have gotten into some type of routine ourselves ... I don't put her into the basket any earlier than that at night as me and my oh don't go to bed early so I keep her in the living room with us and that seamed to be when she want to sleep the longest any way :) xx

See, you are in a routine and it's one that suits you rather than one that's been dreamed up by someone who's written a book and never met your baby or you.

Sounds perfect OP

Ok so things are going kind of well she is feeding every 4 hours and is becoming more and more alert during the day ... but now as soon as she goes into her basket it's party time 🌚 does anyone have any advice ? I keep the room dark and Ewan the sheep does not work.. I know she's only little but any advice would be great... she also does this breathing thing sharply inhaled and spits her dummy out which is fantastic at 1..2..3am lol !! Ive spoken to mw and she said she will grow out this as she's just new to the world .. but like I said after her last feed between 10 and 12 she's up for at least two hors before she sleeps , sometimes even till 2am ... thanks in advance

Tbh that's more of a rant than any info lol but any advice would be fab x