Struggling new mum, advise desperately needed

[PuddingxButt]

Hi, my LO is 5 weeks old, my first and I have no idea what I'm doing. She seems to fuss/cry none stop when she's awake but can be comforted for a few mins, then straight back to crying. She'll sleep well when held but only for about half an hour if put down, this is with being swaddled and white noise. I have pretty bad depression and anxiety which I'm getting help for but I'm still struggling every second of every day. Any advice would be so so appreciated, I feel like there's no light at the end of the tunnel.

It can be pretty relentless when they are so little but it does get better i promise.
It might be worth talking to your GP/ health visitor about reflux - I'm sure others who know more will be along soon but the bit about not sleeping for long made me wonder whether that might be an issue.
Make sure you ask people for help even if it is just to get a sleep for a little while or out for a walk and a bit of headspace.

Is it possible your DD has reflux so needs to be upright to be comfortable? She's still very new to being out in the big bright noisy world. Do you have help with her? The early days are hard work.

Does she clench her fists? Go red in the face etc etc? Have a look at reflux because our baby had it and it's a tough journey but you'll get there. Is she ever sick after a feed?

It does get easier I promise. You will get lots of good advice but I agree with speaking with your health visitor but also accepting any offers of help.

I’d agree try the reflux suggestions.
With my third I just used to put her in the bouncy chair or propped the Moses basket at 45* so she was more upright.
My nephew was an incredibly fussy colicky baby and turned out he was lactose intolerant.

Okay first things first take a deep breath...
When my little one was this age I found that feeding her every 3 hours worked well and generally the basic routine of feed, change, wind, put down to nap. I found that when she seemed inconsolable it was for the most part due to wind. They're really windy at the this point due to their digestive system. I found that keeping stimulation to a minimum really helped also. I used to find holding her in a dark quiet room settled her better than white nose. Sometimes they are overstumiluated and overtired. Xx

Babies cry ....
You do know what you are doing ... you are trying to be a good mum to your baby.
I wish there was some magic formula to help but it is just trying things and getting to know baby.
This too will pass ... still very early doors
Be kind to yourself and trust yourself

Thank you everyone for your advice, we started on gaviscon yesterday for possible reflux but she still won't settle in her rocker or with her cot tilted up. I'm seeing the perinatal mental health team but when I said I felt like self harming again she suggested yoga 🙄

Sleeping for an hour and half is good, especially if put down. My baby never wanted to be put down. I too suffered with anxiety and depression and felt like I didn't have a clue what I was doing.
Things that helped me were accepting he wants to be held to sleep, and I enjoyed that time. Made myself comfy on the sofa, watched something on TV, had a coffee.
I bought a sling, which was a real game changer as I had to use of both my arms again! I found that taking him out in the sling for walks helped keep us both calm.
I used tiger in the tree hold a lot and his little bouncer chair. My son had colic and these helped with the crying and also helped my mental health. The constant crying is tough, especially when you are feeling fragile yourself. We also used gripe water. That stage didn't last for too long, although it felt it at the time!
I was also given the name of a group to go to with other mums who were struggling with their mental health and I found that helpful too.
I know people say this all the time, but belive me, it won't lways feel this hard. The anxiety and fog will clear bit by bit and you will find your rthym xxx

Does she have a dummy? That can be really soothing, especially with reflux.

Are you bf or bottle feeding? If bottle, you can get ‘comfort’ milk which is supposed to ease reflux a bit.

Sending you lots of love, I remember how hard this all is.

I second the sling advice. It saved me with DD2 who, like your LO, didn’t want to be put down. Lying upright on my chest was just where she wanted to be and the sling let me go hands free.
She had all her naps in the sling for the first few months and I just worked on getting her down in her cot for bedtime.

I’d also suggest breaking the day into tiny little chunks- now we will do a nappy change, next I will make some tea, next we will try a nap, then I will walk you around the house chatting to you about the various items we see there.

And don’t let any individual nap have too much power- as in don’t let yourself believe that without “this” nap you’ll fall apart. Always have a contingency plan if a nap doesn’t happen- like going out for a little walk if there’s no joy with getting DD to sleep 30 minutes, or meeting someone, or putting her in the sling and having a cuppa.

It’s a shit old time and so much more so if you’re struggling with your mental health. It’s relentless and draining but the only way is up and it does get SO MUCH BETTER. There really is light at the end of the tunnel.

Thank you everyone, husband took the baby for the night and I slept in the spare room, feel so much better with some decent sleep. Will try all the suggestions, feeling more positive about things now :)

What symptoms of reflux does she have?