Jealous 5 yearold

[cazzamacca26]

Hi, just wondering if anyone has any tips for me. My daughter is nearly 6 and shes literally jealous of everything. Also anything we try to do nice for her is not good enough. Shes not spoilt or anything so I dknt know why shes acting like this. If someone does something, she does it better or she says who cares, you're crap. If her brother tryst to talk, she talks over him telling him to shut up. Hes nothing but nice to her and she only wants to show him love when it suits her. She will ask to go places but get there n say, its crap or its boring I wanna go home. When her friend was at our house (same age) she was practicing writing her letters with my daughter, her freind said look I have wrote some words, so i said well done that's great and was just about to say to my daughter that hers was great aswel but she didnt even let me finish my sentence before saying, no it's not its rubbish and you're just a baby. I've tried taking her technology off her but that doesnt bother her in the slightest. Tried not giving her any treats, still the same, she dont care. Even tried stirring her down and explaining that she can hurt peoples feelings by being mean and nasty and said she wouldnt feel upset if people done it to her but she just says so what. Her teacher said shes not to bad in school but she wont join in with class activities. My don was the total opposite when he was her age, everything you gave him, he was very grateful and happy almost all the time. We are stuck in the house alot of the time because she moans and sulks if we go anywhere she dont wanna go. Its doing my head in, if anyone can suggest any ideas that will help that's would be great, thanks x

She IS SPOILT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your snowflake sounds horrendous op.
What tech does a 6 yo need?

Can you find activities she can sit on side for? No point you all missing out as a family, she can see you having fun and then she gets to join in when she is nice. Currently she is in charge if you can’t go out which sounds miserable. Even if at home you play a board game together or similar?

Does she actually use the word ‘crap’?

For the person saying she is spoilt, shes not, she doesnt get her own way and is punished when she does wrong. Shes been broughtbup the same way as her brother and hes the total opposite, very polite and loving. The technology she has is a tablet and tv in her room, she only has a limited time on her tablet too. She used to be in private nursery and was always fine when she was in there. Shes gradually gotten worse at home since starting school but teacher said shes not that bad at school apart from not wanting to join in with class activities so I am assuming it's not that. We do play board games with her like frustration and an LOL game she has and shes fine when shes playing games she likes but can tell she gets jealous if one of us are winning and not her. Yer she does actually say crap and boring all the time. It's my choice not to go out much because it's just stressful having people judge you, I thought I would come on here for tips but obviously some of the judgy people are on here too hey 🤔 thanks to the ones who have gave helpful a response

Why the fuck does a 6 year old need a tv in their room?

Because not everyone in the house likes watching the same tv channels or films so if she wants to go watch a film in her room, she can, you're obviously a perfect parent then

What consequences does she currently get for her behaviour?

At 6 she doesn't and shouldn't get the opportunity to go and watch something different in her room because she doesn't like what everyone else is watching. My 12 year old daughter does not have a TV in her room, we watch TV in the lounge my 3 daughters (12, 7 and 6) all know that if they don't like what's on, based on whoever's turn it is to pick), then they can read or colour where we are all watching TV, but there is no option to go and watch something else somewhere else. I do the same with them in car with music, they take it in turns to pick a song and if they fight or don't listen then I play my music the entire journey.

Also the word 'crap' - where has she picked that up from? I am not saying she is spoiled but perhaps you're not seeing things at home as clearly as you think you are?

Considering her age, if my 6 year old was acting like that, I would be telling her she's a brat and I don't talk to or listen to brats. There would be ZERO tolerance for this in my home and I would persevere with consequences until she got the message loud and clear.

Take the TV out of her room for a start.

You're coming here for tips - well listen then even if it hurts!

I was shocked reading your OP and astounded at your reply later on

Good luck OP, clearly you're going to need it if shes acting like this when she's only 5 and you're not accepting anyones advice that you're asking for.

Are u people for real, I think 1 of them responses was advice, the rest where just plain judgemental

Where do you think your daughter has learnt that if someone says something she doesn't like then an appropriate response is throwing a hissy fit? Hmm?

I think you need to move your strategy of "even talking to her" from third place to first. Make sure you praise her when she shows good social skills, and most importantly, make sure that she sees and hears good role models from you and other adults. You need to build her self esteem and resilience, you have a very unhappy little girl who doesn't understand how to deal with her peers, her sibling and adults relationships. You need to give her both the strategies and the language to respond in situations where she feels uncomfortable or anxious. She uses words like crap because you haven't taught her that there are other ways and words to express feelings and emotions.

viques has it absolutely spot on. Please read what she's said and try to act on this very good advice.
It sounds like you're going down a slippery slope of continually comparing your daughter unfavorably with her brother and that you really dislike her. She'll pick up on this. She's a small, new person who needs you to listen to her. I'm sure you know this and love her and want the best for her. You've identified there is something going wrong here, which is great and the first step. This is really important.

Reminds me of a time a mum was swearing & ranting at her kid in a changing room & the daughter answered back swearing, then ran off. The mum turned to me & said ‘I’ve no idea why she’s such a gobby cow’ 😂

Sometimes it’s not so easy to see our own faults & perhaps where we are going wrong. I’d be mortified if my 5 year old said something was crap. Yes sure, as an adult it’s no big word but it’s not a word for a 5 year old & they need to taught that it’s not appropriate.

Are you sure nothing is bothering her? She sounds like she’s 13, not 5. Has she always been like this or is it a recent thing? It sounds like she’s reacting to something by playing up .. maybe take her out to a coffee shop & have hot chocolate & cake and try make it all about a mum & daughter daughter day! Then see if she’ll talk about anything worrying her etc? Perhaps she just needs some one on one time.. red flags raise to me that she’s not wanting to join in class activities - is she being bullied? Left out? Fallen out with friends? Feeling anxious about school?

Otherwise, maybe introduce a behaviour chart/jar.. they’ll have something similar at school. When I taught, my year one classes had a treasure box that got filled with ‘treasure’ for good behaviour or good work. At the end of the week, if it was full, they got a reward. Def worth considering! It’s the kinda thing 5 year olds love!

It sounds like she feels a little insecure to me and would for sure benefit from positive reinforcement/love bombing.

Like maybe she has got into the cycle of putting others down, being made to feel naughty and then that is just fuelling the notion that she needs to gain your attention or affection by making herself seem better than others?