Groundhog Day

[keeponkeepon]

Just looking for some perspectives to help me look at things differently...

Have two small children and every week is just the same, I feel like every day we are just trying to get through the day. We go out to baby groups etc and we have a weekly routine but it all just feels like marking out time. I feel like we're just "getting through it" until something "proper" is coming but I know that's a myth. Nothing better or proper is coming, this is just life. And it seems kind of meaningless. It's just going to be like this for ever more.

I know it sounds like I'm depressed but I'm not, I love my kids and we have nice times in the days as well as it being hard. I try hard to be grateful for everything we have and I try to be mindful and in the moment. I just can't shake this mindset.

Anyone else feel like this? Any ideas of things I can do or think differently?

Hi, I only have the one but sometimes feel similarly. Do you have a group of mum friends? I think that can make a big difference. And having something to look forward to at the weekend either as a family or just for you.

Thanks @Pantheon . Yes I have some mum friends but I feel like they're relatively surface friends iyswim. Seeing them just feels like part of the weekly routine. I rarely see my close friends due to children and they live far away.

I really thought this might resonate with more people! 🤷🏼‍♀️ maybe it's just us two then!

No. I’m with you. I have had the time from hell this afternoon and if I had to put my finger on what was bothering me I’d say I just wanted some time to myself but you can’t have that option with kids. I felt like a terrible mum today but all of it was just one big chore and I have many days like that. What age are your children? Wondering if we’re at a similar stage..

I’m with you on this too. I have two children too albeit one is n reception so just home with 18 month old but it’s hard. The monotony and loneliness of it all is heartbreaking some days. Other than getting out each day and having some you time every week I don’t have any other suggestions I’m afraid. I do think that once both children are at school I will at least have 6 hours a day under my own steam which will help considerably. THe requirement to put their needs above mine for most of the day has really worn me down over the years. I hear your pain.

Thank you both. Sorry it is hard for you too. Mine are 3 and 6 months. I think one of my worries is that even when they are older and things are easier, I won't feel much better. Also everyone always says I will miss these days of them being little and I'm sure I will, so why don't I enjoy it more?

No children but if it helps any, everyone's life is groundhog day.

Alarm at 5:30am
Leave at 7am
Work by 8:30am
Work until 5-6 or until I feel I've got enough done.
Home by 7:30.
Maybe gym
Dinner
Bed.

Do it again and again and again

Weekends do all the life admin I need to and the shopping and washing.

Fun times

Not sure what the solution is

*Myume, I agree however, I found that pre-kids there was time to be spontaneous and self-indulgent as weekends and evenings were my own. That’s simply not the case with young children as not only am I responsible for my life and welfare but also that of my young children.

@keeponkeepon I’m assured by friends with older children that life is much better when they start school. If you think about what we have to do to just keep the wheels on it will be so much better when both are out of nappies, can feed themselves, can dress themselves, can wash themselves, get their own drinks, make a basic snack, brush their own teeth, wipe their own hands, change their own soiled clothes.....the list goes on.

@MyuMe I think that's what I'm also afraid of 😕 that when this bit is past it won't even be any better

@keeponkeepon that has crossed my mind too but saying that my 4 year old is generally easier to look after/take places/do activities with than my 2 year old so I’m hoping it just gets better I agree that as a parent all the daily groundhog can feel more restrictive because you can’t just say oh I’m going to take a sickie today and sit in the cinema with a giant popcorn or call a friend and go to the pub and get smashed!!

Yep. I work full-time though with two young DC. Get up. Manically get us ready. Two drop-offs. Work all day with crazy teenagers. Get home. Have DC being noisy and all over me the second I get through the door. Have tea. Get them to bed. Collapse in front of telly with marking. Sleep. Repeat.

Even at the weekends it’s the same routine with maybe a trip to the zoo thrown in. See some friends for a cuppa.

I’m exhausted and fed up.

I should add that my eldest is at school. But it just adds to the Groundhog Day. You’re just adding in their homework. Beavers. Other clubs. Repeat.

I hate it when it feels like killing time till bedtime, only to start over again in the morning.

Do you get any time for yourself to do a hobby or just be alone for a bit? I have much more energy and enthusiasm for my children when I can have a couple of hours away from them every week!

Mine are 8 and 13, so not little kids any more. It's still groundhog day, but in a different way.

I get some time away from them, but just the fact that I still need to be a fixture at home ( too young to be left alone) and do a school run, means my life is by no means my own.

I've felt like this for years and for me, there is so much mental suffering in feeling trapped and stifled.

I'm trying to accept it, as apart from leaving them to start a new life, there doesn't seem to be a solution.

I felt like this until my children went to school and everything seemed so much easier for me then. Baby and toddler years were a slog for me. I'm much happier now

This is one of the reasons why I rarely went to baby groups, I didn't want to be tied in to anything so I stuck to the drop in ones rather than the book a place ones. I just did spontaneous days out with the kids, the same as I did by myself before DC.
Mine are all in school now and I hate how things are so scheduled, it's incredibly claustrophobic.