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Daily structure for 2 under 2

10 replies

letsdothis123 · 15/01/2020 17:43

Hello Everyone

I have a 10 months old son and have just found out i am pregnant with my second (about 5 weeks). I think i will be due mid September so my son will be 19 months.

Due to rubbish 0 hour contracts, i basically will be off work (maternity) for 7-9 months and then (due to term times etc) will be unable to start work again for an extra 4/5 months. It is going to be tough. My son is a bit of a dragon (but lovely) baby. We don't have any family nearby and as a result, we have no support at all.

My concern is that i will basically be off work for almost 18 months with two under two. I like working, i get a small bit of freedom and feel a bit more me. When i was off for a month at Christmas (due to term times) i almost went mad. Basically didnt get a chance to shower, dress half the time, brush my teeth and just felt overall rubbish for my 'achieving' anything. For this two under two business, my husband said i should think about having a structured routine so i can feel more human.

So, my question is - what is your routine, any advice?

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Caterina99 · 15/01/2020 18:02

I didn’t have such a small age gap. 2.3 years, but once they were down to one nap my kids routines haven’t changed much.

Basically up and out in the morning. Park, library, play group, play date, supermarket, whatever! We were usually out the door by 9am. My DS did 2 mornings a week at nursery which really helped my sanity, but I appreciate that’s not always possible.

Then we’d be out til probably 11 or 12ish. Snack on the road. Baby napped as and when in the pram or carrier. Home for lunch for toddler and then nap around 12.30/1 for usually 2 hours. If I was lucky the baby would nap then too. Then in the afternoon we did more home based stuff, playing with toys, in the garden, watching tv etc.

Toddler dinner around 5/6pm. Bed around 7. Basically the day revolves around the older child and the baby just came with

letsdothis123 · 16/01/2020 07:27

Thanks for this. It's a good point, that the day revolves around the toddler and we follow suit. Being up and out by 9 is a good idea too. Thanks xx

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nervousfirsttimer1985 · 16/01/2020 07:39

I have the same age gap. Its hard at times but as the pp said it is more what the older child does and the baby fits in. I also try and get out of the house in the mornings. I end up having days of frustration where the weather has been shocking and we don't leave the house but I always get us all dressed and make that part of the routine along with teeth brushing at same time as toddler. She is my shadow so follows me most places, the shower, the toilet as she likes to turn the taps on but at least she leaves her brother alone when with me.
The main thing I struggled with at the start was bedtimes as DD needed one of us in her room to fall asleep. With a newborn this wasn't always possible and bedtime was a nightmare for a week or so until I decided no more and got her into a rotuine where she falls asleep herself now. Wish I had done it sooner as lying on the floor at 39 weeks pregnant when my bump was massive was ludicrous looking back...but the things you go for your children.
I also try to get everything sorted the night before when I can so easy out in the morning. The days I don't ,I regret it in the morning and if it gets to an houror so before I need to leave and one of them is still sleeping, I know we will be late!

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Ishotmrburns · 16/01/2020 21:24

I second the getting up and out by 9am thing. Even if the weather is crap you could go to a museum or even arrange to go to a friend's house or have breakfast in a cafe, food shopping, library, walk along the beach, visit your local RSPCA shelter to say hello to the animals. Literally anything that means you are leaving the house and will be gone for a couple of hours.

Then home for food and a nap. After the nap the toddler could draw, read, play in the garden, watch a film, paint, then they can "help" you prepare dinner for the family. Before you know it, it's family dinner time. Once you've had dinner it's bath and bedtime routine.

The newborn is either in the pram or the sling for all of this.

littleyikes · 16/01/2020 21:33

Set get up time, get out if you can (we have a dog so has to be walked) we also have a small play park at the end of the road.

We do 2-3 toddler and baby classes a week, the library offers a free music and story session, there are several nurseries that offer a free 'stay and play' morning, and a local playgroup for £1.50

Attempt at least a play date or a meet-up with friends every 2 weeks (more like once a month I'm not great)

Got an Ikea flisat table which is just great for any sort of craft or 'sensory bin' idea of Pinterest 😂

A nap, some free play, tv time and then bedtime routine starts.

Definitely recommend scouting out the freebie groups in your area, we're rural and actually have a good amount! I found structuring my week was easier than structuring the individual days.

Sparrowlegs248 · 16/01/2020 21:52

18.5 months here, I was off for 14 months with the second.

The main thing that made a huge difference, was the morning. When they were tiny, we'd go down and I would make a cuppa, get milk for the toddler, then go back upstairs. When they were a bit older I'd nip down alone. Then, we stayed upstairs until I was washed, dressed and had put a bit of make up on (Not for everyone, but it helped me).

Then we'd start the day. I found it I didn't take this 15 minutes in the morning, often I'd end the day not even having washed my face. Once dc1 was 2, he went to pre school 2 mornings a week. We went to a swimming group once a week, without fail really. I would visit my parents, sometimes staying over for a bit of a break as 'D'H was useless (Not together any more)

A structured routine, especially at key times (first thing in the morning, bedtime etc) is key. You know what you're doing, they get to know what's happening when.

Get out of the house. When dc2 was a baby, I'd put him in the sling, and dc1 in the push along trike, and go for a walk.

A few months on, dc2 in the pushchair, dc1 on the buggy board. Go for a walk. (We are rural so no shops or anything to walk to, and I did avoid town with them, mostly)

Shopping - make it an outing, if you are not going to shop online. Trip to Tesco, mid morning, do the shopping, hand out the free fruit. Then hit the cafe for lunch.

My weeks were much the same, set things on set days. Those days were the same. It did make life easier.

I was pretty much on my own with it, as in no real support from their dad. And without him altogether after a few months, so one thing I will say, is get the time for yourself. Talk to your H, makes sure he does his part.

Sparrowlegs248 · 16/01/2020 21:53

A problem I found with baby groups is that after dc1 was 2, I couldn't take both dc to the sane group as they were for under 2s.

stuffingball · 16/01/2020 21:57

Definitely get up and out in morning. I appreciate this is difficult when smallest is tiny and feeds frequently, but try your best because once you are out you will feel better for it all day.
Mine are 2.5y and 18m now and I still do the up and out in the mornings, home for lunch and nap (and rest for me!) then home play in the afternoon while I prep the dinner, then before you know it it's the whole dinner bath bed routine (my least favourite time of the day)

Definitely get bag and clothes to wear ready the night before. If you have to be somewhere for a certain time then get up earlier than you think you need to, you can guarantee that will be the time that you will have breakfast spillage/meltdown/poonami when you don't have time for it.

Let random people chat to you when you're out eg in the shops. When I was child free and working full time I had no time for small talk, but honestly days in with baby and toddler are incredibly lonely for an adult, so just getting a bit of adult interaction saves sanity sometimes.

When baby is very small, find a playgroup that contains the toddler for a while and keeps them amused/wears them out while you sit and chill with the baby. I did find them boring and tedious but for the sake of wearing my toddler out they were a god send. Plus again the bit of adult chat was nice, and a sense of accomplishment for a couple of hours.

In the early days you will just enter survival mode, but gradually as time goes on and they start napping at the same time you're onto a winner. Lots of people mistake mine for twins now even though they're actually 14 months apart.

Good luck OP you'll boss it

Sparrowlegs248 · 16/01/2020 22:07

Oh and yes, in the evenings, pack the changing bag. I also used to keep an extra bag in the car with extra nappies and clothes, just in case.
On one memorable occasion dc2 went through 3 baby gros in 3 hours.

Mine are 4 .5 and 3 now, and life is getting easier by the days really. They are amazing, such fun. Our days are very different now.

Smithtylater · 17/01/2020 00:06

I have a 17 month old and an 8 week old...
At first it can be a bit overwhelming but believe me when I say it gets better! My tips:
-Just to echo what other people have said. Get out in the morning-soft play, toddler groups, singing groups at library etc etc (there is an app called Hoop which shows local activities for children) . Or even to the park or round the block to get a loaf of bread. Let the toddler walk for a bit if they can. Be back for midday, lunch, nap time then have the rest of the day at home.

  • take each day as it comes. Dont stress and do what you can! You are only one person. Ask for help or accept it when offered.
  • prep as much as you can. Meals, changing bag, outfits for the following day, nappy supplies, bathtime stuff makes life so much easier.

-Just enjoy it because time really does go quick...

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