Breastfeeding after the newborn stage - what is normal?

[Ishotmrburns]

My DD is 4 1/2 months old and it feels like she's always breastfeeding. It's always been this way. I thought nothing of it during the newborn stage as I've heard it's normal and that after this they naturally start to have larger, less frequent feeds, but she's almost 5 months old now and it seems like all of the other mums and babies are on a much easier schedule than we are. During the day she can't seem to go for more than an hour without wanting a feed. If I'm not there (which is quite rare) she can apparently quite happily go for over 2 hours without a feed. She feeds 3 times in the night on a good night. On a bad night she'll feed maybe 5 or 6 times.

When she feeds it rarely lasts for more than 5 mins. Is she just snack feeding? If so, how do I change that so that she takes a full feed?

I'm not too worried about the frequent feeding during the day as I am a SAHM and very comfortable breastfeeding anywhere so I am ok with this. The night feedings are the problem. I am absolutely exhausted. I can't remember the last time I had more than 3 consecutive hours of sleep. DH is helpful and does his share, but he works very long shifts, often night shifts, so isn't always around, and as she's breastfed there isn't much he can do at night without having to wake me to feed her anyway.

She is exceptionally tall - 100th centile. I don't know if this is relevant (ie bigger baby needs more feeds)

HELP!

The night time thing might be the 4 month sleep regression. Does she feed better during the day if it is quiet? My lo only snack feeds out and about and when her big sister is around as she is so nosey. Make sure you remember to burp her between feeds and then offer the boob again.

Night feeds might be 4mo sleep regression yes. At this age until she's on solids alongside I would prioritise making it easier for you over trying to space them out (can you attach cot to bed so you can bf lying down?), but if she's just feeding very briefly to get herself back to sleep you can try to work on ways of getting her to fall asleep without needing to (google 'Pantley Pull-Off' for one way).

If frequent feedings during the day don't bother you I'd leave those alone. It's within the range of normal, and the idea of 'snacking' vs 'full feeds' is not IME the most helpful framework for breastfed as opposed to bottle-fed babies.

Mine never slept more than (rare) 3 hour stretch at night until we stopped feeding at 16 months through sheer exhaustion.

She was only 9th centile for height and weight so not a big baby by any stretch but she definitely preferred little and often rather than"full" feeds.

Interestingly even now at 6, she prefers to graze on food throughout the day rather than sit down to a large meal!

Sounds like 4 month regression with regards to sleep.

In terms of frequency of feeds - absolutely anything is normal. My eldest fed 1-1.5hourly at that age for anything unto 45mins per feed because her favourite place was on the breast and she liked to just stay there!

My second saw it as nutrition only so fed around 3hourly during the day and for 5-10mins max then was done.

Both had horrendous sleep during 4 month regression with frequent wakings which exhausted me!

I dont know whats normal because my 3 babies were totally different. But my DD has always taken most of her feeds at night. I feed her and put her down in her cot, then when I go to bed she stirs and I bring her inyo bed and feed her. Then throughout the night she's next to me so when she wants milk I just pull her over, we both barely wake up. I am always asleep before shes finished. So I dont feel tired even though she's 18 months now and still feeds 4 -8 times a night. Would co sleeping work for you?

It might seem like the other mams and babies are on better schedules but people often exaggerate how well they are finding it how much sleep they get.

Your experience sounds totally normal to me or at least very similar to my own.

The lack of sleep is a killer but I try and be positive by thinking ah maybe tonight he will sleep!

When your DH is there at night ask him to take her to a different room and do his best to distract her for as long as he can without her getting too upset, that might encourage get to find other ways to go back to sleep?

That being said I usually cave and just feed my lo, as I do be thinking ah if I feed him for 10 minutes then we can all sleep except he wakes up a hour or 2 later for the repeat!

Thanks so much for the advice everyone. It's reassuring to know that a lot of you think this frequency of feeds is normal. I was starting to think that I was doing something wrong!

@Selfsettling3 she is so easily distracted that even if it's quiet she tends to pull off a lot. My hair, the ceiling fan, the blank wall even, is apparently very interesting to her lol

@Jamhandprints Her cot is currently attached to the side of our bed but to be honest I'm desperate for her to move to her own room. We are thinking of doing it this weekend. I want my bedroom back. I don't think I'm a co-sleeping mum. I don't breastfeed her lying down at night because she gets too upset. I think because she's used to being picked up and cuddled while she breastfeeds at night, me doing anything else just upsets her.

@Ivyr0se if he's home at night then he will sometimes put a dummy in for her, and half of the time she will go back to sleep once he's done that, even without a breastfeed. I hadn't thought of him distracting her but that's a good idea. Maybe if we can encourage her to go for longer stretches at night without feeding she might start to wake up for feeds less often?

This 4 month sleep regression... How long does it last for? Will she naturally start to sleep better, or do I need to do something to make that happen?

She may be ready for weaning on to some solids

Misread age as 5 months, but there is a place for earlier weaning for sturdy babies

We have started BLW already, but it is really just "experiencing" the food so far. She doesn't really eat any of it, she mostly just pokes stuff, gums it, rubs it on her face, or maybe eats a smidge of something off the end of my finger. Less than half a teaspoon of actual food ends up being swallowed every day.

Do you think she will start to sleep better when she's eating more solids?