Help please! I need my arms back!

[mum29919]

My baby boy is nearly 15 weeks now and won't sleep anywhere but on me during the day. He goes down at bedtime nicely, the amount he sleeps varies between 8 and four hours but then he won't settle again. During the day he fights sleep so much, I've tried doing our bedtime routine, using blackout blinds, white noise, tried putting him down awake and leaving him until he cries (and then go straight to him) and I've tried rocking him to sleep and putting him down. No matter what I try he won't sleep longer than half an hour unless he's on me, he gets overtired and grumpy then. I've spent days just letting him catch up on sleep on me and trying again when he's not so overtired, I'm seriously running out of ideas! I know he's still little and I do love cuddling him while he sleeps but it's getting so I can't leave the house and I'm going stir crazy, does anyone have any advice please!?

DD would only sleep in the sling as a baby. I called it the Magic Sling of Sleep. I used to put her in there and get on with stuff.

She is now a teen and can happily sleep anywhere for long periods of time!

Some babies just need that extra love and closeness. Buy yourself a stretchy wrap sling for in the house (you can use it outdoors too, I just preferred a harness style carrier instead for then) this way he’s close to you but you can get on with a few things and he will sleep peacefully knowing he’s with his mummy. Our stretchy wrap and baby carrier saved a lot of my sanity in the early days. It’s hard going but it won’t last forever.

Sling for the win!

Thanks for your replies, I have a sling and he does sleep in that and I know he won't have a problem sleeping on his own when he's a teenager but will he still be wanting to sleep on me when he's three? Should I be making more effort to get him down for naps or will he just do it naturally?

My DD was like this. At around 3 months or so she started letting me put her down in the crib for naps. It will happen naturally but you need to keep gently trying every now and again, just to see how it goes.

"but will he still be wanting to sleep on me when he's three? Should I be making more effort to get him down for naps or will he just do it naturally?"

My baby napped in my arms regularly until 10 months and can assure you that after 10 months (i'd have kept going for longer but he was too heavy!) he moved to napping in his cot no problem and he sleeps through the night in there too.

I know they're all different but I really don't think you can create problems by cuddling a baby too much. Relax and enjoy.

but will he still be wanting to sleep on me when he's three?

Not in my experience.

I got quite adept at getting DD to sleep in the sling and then kind of slithering out of it so she was in her chair/Moses basket with the sling as a blanket. Mine was a pouch sling so this was easy to do.

Her older brothers did not have this "only sleep on a person" problem!

I was the same as a baby. My mum had to put me in a sling so she could get stuff done.

Eventually DD got the hang of sleeping on her own as she started doing things (crawling etc) and got "properly tired" IYSWIM.

4 month sleep regression. It's a thing. Google it as there's loads of articles and information available that hopefully will make you feel a bit more comfortable that this won't last forever!

I know it seems tough at the min (it is!) but it does pass. And in a few months you'll look back and be replying to someone else's thread telling them that it shall pass.

You've got this

My DD was like that and I slowly started transferring her to her baby bouncer; starting when she was fully asleep and then doing to slightly quicker each time until I started being able to put her down for a nap in the bouncer. If she stirred I’d just gently rock her back to sleep. I kind of missed the cuddles as once I’d done that she wouldn’t fall asleep in my arms but it did allow me to be able to get things done during that time.

DD9 months is slowly growing out of it now. When she falls asleep I can put her down and she'll stay asleep, whereas when she was 16 weeks I couldn't put her down at all.

I would suggest maybe try putting a hot water bottle down before you put babe down as they definitely settle a lot better that way - to be honest though I just enjoyed the snuggles and watched Netflix (don't get me wrong though I did stress massively that I couldn't even put a wash on). Once he's sitting it's like a whole new world!

At night, putting a T shirt you have been wearing in his crib with him. He may find your smell comforting and sleep longer and more deeply.

YY to sling in the day. DD was the world’s clingiest baby until at least a year old.By 2.5 she was Little Miss Independent. She’s 8 now and the independence shows no sign of abating.

My ds dropped his nap entirely at 18 mo so I would worry about the here and now and not look too far ahead. We had a Tula, until he was 11mo he would nap in that on my front and I could wiggle out of it and lay him down. At 11mo he was too big for my front so he went on the back and would sleep up there for hours. I used the toddler Tula when he was unwell a couple of weeks ago and he still crashed out on my back (age 5). He started sleeping much better at night when he started having better naps.

Thank you everyone for your replies! I think I need to just relax a bit and enjoy it while it lasts, I've just got myself worked into a stress about having a nap routine and not wanting him to be super clingy when he's older. The washing can wait!

The replies are also making me feel much better about my own DD (19 weeks). Thank you everyone.

We're (still...) in the 4 month sleep regression. Fortunately, while night time sleep isn't great, I can put her down at night. Daytime however, DD has only ever napped on me. Trying to put her down results in a wide eyed, fully awake baby, who rapidly becomes an over-tired, distraught baby before long. Admittedly I haven't tried putting her down in a while. With the regression, I'm slightly in survival mode atm, and don't really want to rock the boat. Truth be told, I really do enjoy the cuddles at least.

HV has referred us to a nursery nurse who supposedly will help with her sleep. We'll see. Hopefully it won't be like DM's and DSis' advice which solely consists of put her down and let her cry it out.

I am extremely glad she's my first. I can't imagine dealing with this and an older child.

My dd is 8 months and if in the house will only sleep in the day if someone is holding her.. but she will sleep in her pram or car fine . She's also not a bad sleeper at night but day naps it's 45 mins total if not being held if she's being held at least 2 x 1.45 minutes.. but I love the cuddles

DS slept in carrier/ on me/ occasionally in pram pretty much every nap til he was 1. Then pushchair or bed til just after he was 2 and we ditched naps entirely.

He's almost 2 and 7 mo now and he's mostly 15 minutes to get to sleep and the odd wake up in the night. I do bedshare some nights still but I'm starting to almost get used to waking up in my own bed again. I'm totally against sleep training, BF on demand until very gently night weaning at 21 mo and bedshare as and when

Sling = free arms and cuddles. Win for everyone!

I used slings for sleep for both of mine until they were 3! But by 1 this was usually on my back, and when we were home I'd be able to decant then down onto a bed/mat on the floor, so i wouldn't have the on me for that long.