MIL too old?

[234cps]

Hi
My MIL is quite hard work at the best of times and isn't particularly maternal or warm as a person. All of her other grandchildren are significantly older (11- 17) than my children- (6 mo and expecting our second baby in 6 months time.)
She is 72 years old but keeps making comments about taking my baby for the day, wanting to buy her own car seats for the children and "when she has them". AIBU to feel like she is too old to be looking after a little baby? She is also obsessed with not wanting them for an hour or when I am there but only if she can take them for the day on her own. I feel like my baby is too small for one- no one takes her for the day at the moment and as I am not going back to work for at least 18 months there is no need for her to anyway? The obsession with taking her on her own is also frustrating.

This is also coupled with lots of comments about how "we won't listen to what mummy and daddy say and will do what we want" in regards to what she wants to feed my baby. I am all for grandparents giving children treats but she will just totally disregard my wishes and do what she wants to do. (She has done this with her other grandchildren on several occasions).

She is now telling my SIL that she doesn't think I trust her with the baby. I don't really want anyone taking my baby at the moment as she is still so small but also feel she is being unreasonable thinking it is a good idea for her to be looking after a small baby/ toddler at her age.

Any advice on how I can say this to her and not offend her? Trying to dance around the subject will just mean she totally ignores or doesn't hear what I am trying to say. 🙈

Age is irrelevant. There’s a little boy in my daughters schools whose mother died 4 years ago. He’s been partly brought up since then by his great grandmother who picks him up and drops him off from school every day from his aunties, and has him the whole weekend every weekend. She’s almost 93. Depending on her health it’s terribly unfair to judge her on her age. You mention she’s getting car seats so presumably she’s sensible enough to still be on the roads? Obviously the going against your wishes thing is another matter

Raising my dc vegetarian was fully supported by my dh. If mil couldn't respect that why would I allow her to disregard our choices or play dm's with my dc? Quite bizarre that anyone could think I would allow that?

My mum looked after all her 22 grandchildren( not at the same time)😆 in her 70s.

Is she worried about upsetting your feelings by constantly telling your dc that she will give them meat against your wishes? No? Then don't worry about telling her that you don't trust her to look after your dc in the way you want her to be cared for. Even better get dh to tell her.

Any updates OP?

What does your husband say about his mother?