Would you move away from great schools for a better family life?

[RMarieClaire]

DH and I are very fortunate to have been presented the opportunity to inherit his parents' farm in a few years time. With the sale of our own house, we'd be mortgage free in our 30s! The farm also includes a holiday property, rental of which pretty much covers running costs of the main house. I should add that the 'farm' isn't very active anymore, so upkeep is minimum. Both DH and I would be in a position to quit our office jobs and freelance or work part-time, and spend much more time at home with our daughter (and, we hope, future #2!). Plus it's a beautiful property, with lots of land to play on, and good access to Exeter and the beaches of Devon.

Problem is the farm is in the middle of nowhere , and the schools we would be able to send children to are limited and not very well rated. We currently live in a lovely market town in Surrey, in the catchment area for a number of Outstanding schools. It's also a great place - but expensive, and both my and DH have to work full time to pay our mortgage and bills.

I recognise we're extremely lucky, so please don't think I'm moaning about this predicament. But I'm torn all the same. I want the best life for our family, but also the best education and future for our children. DD is only 6 months old so it's so hard to know how things will pan out for her and how important schools are when they get a bit older (but I get the feeling very?!)

Any thoughts from parents with older children would be so helpful!

With the lack of mortgage payments would you be able to afford private for secondary school? Alternatively, could you live there until secondary school age, save up lots, and move at secondary school age to somewhere more central?

In your position I would sell the farm and use the money for private schooling. But if you’re ideologically opposes to private education though I think your children would benefit more educationally from spending time with you (assuming you are academically minded, I know not everyone is) than at an outstanding/good rated state school. Children thrive on individual attention more than anything else.

Could you live in he middle of nowhere, away from amenities?

Tbh, it’d be head over heart for me so I’d sell the farm to pay down your Surrey mortgage. It would still enable you to spend time as a family, work part time etc. Surrey also has lovely countryside, gorgeous hills and it’s close to the beach (takes me 1h exactly from outer London) so probably even faster for you.

www.compare-school-performance.service.gov.uk/find-a-school-in-england

It might also be useful to compare schools academically in addition to their Ofsted ratings.

Have you ever lived in the middle of nowhere like that? Don't underestimate the culture shock for you and your child(ren). Make sure you've considered the other downsides of living there as well as the schools, so you can make a fully informed decision. Just as a random example, once they are teenagers they will be much less independent than if they are in a town/city as they will rely on you for lifts. Similarly, think about your hobbies - can you still do them in the middle of nowhere? I have also come across some very unfortunate attitudes in my semi rural area - someone told a joke in the pub using the 'n' word once. I'm guessing that wouldn't happen in your market town.... Obviously there are advantages to living in the countryside and loads of lovely (and non racist!) people but just make sure you've considered it all, especially if you've never lived anywhere like that. I have friends who live in similar properties and they are beautiful but I know there is absolutely no way we would be happy there. Good luck with the decision!

Thanks all. Sorry, I should have added that for both me and DH moving to the countryside is a bit of a dream. We're both from rural backgrounds, and enjoy walking, birdwatching and horse riding (we don't sound like people in our 30s, do we?). We moved from London to Surrey to get away from the city, and though we love where we are, we'd love to be somewhere even more rural.

I grew up in a tiny village with no shop or busses. It was hard, but I have fond memories all the same - and as parents we're prepared to play taxi. Although in the farm's case there is a bus that goes into the city of Exeter.

I just hate the idea of our kids' education suffering so we can live out our dream. There's a great private school, which DH attended, but paying for that would require us to work full time again, which won't be as easy in Devon as it is in Surrey.

If everything else was what I wanted then I wouldn’t worry about the schools; you have no idea how they may change in the next few years both in your area and the new area. I also wouldn’t say you can judge schools on ofsted alone; I’d rather a school that was interested in my child above their ofsted

@Danascully2 unfortunately you're right about some rural areas being a bit culturally backwards. It's not the best quality of the countryside! It will be interesting to see how it is going back into that environment after so long in London

My family also point out how built up/busy the Surrey countryside is...

Just how bad are the schools around the farm? Could you do state for primary and go independent for senior school to keep the costs down a little?

I would go in an instant.

We live rurally in an area with on paper not great schools.
My eldest is 16 now. He's come out with good GCSEs ( not everyone at his school does). I think it helps if you are interested, encourage them to be self motivated and have high aspirations. I think that makes more difference than an outstanding Vs a mediocre school. As an upside there is no stress in these parts about school places/ oversubscription!

I wouldn't change a thing though. I love where we live. I love the fact that dh and I can work part time and be mortgage free in our 40s. Any extra money we have goes on travel which offsets living in a bit of a cultural dessert!

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I'd do it, but be prepared to put the work in at home if the schooling falls short. As long as your DD can be happy and confident at school, the education doesn't matter quite so much if you are able to work with her.

I'd give my eye teeth for an opportunity like this!

I'd do it, schools change and improve all of the time

What services and facilities are there locally for older DC?

You could just sell the farm.

If you’d both have to work to pay for school fees, doesn’t sound like you could afford to give up work as you describe if you moved to the farm. Would you have pensions etc?

I’m a country girl and would jump at this opportunity. Surely you wouldn’t both need to work FT for private schooling? What is the difference in the schools?

How bad are the schools? Special measures bad?

I wouldn’t if they’re really bad, it’s not just the academics but the social side- bad schools tend to be worse for bullying, especially if you work hard. Add being physically isolated and it could be really tough for your DD

If however the schools are fine but just not outstanding, I would go for it