Apprehensive about childcare

[shreddednips]

Hi all,

Just wondering whether anybody has any words of wisdom. I'm a SAHM to my 1 year old DS but work during naps/evenings as a freelancer. The original plan (before I realised how unrealistic this was) was for this arrangement to continue until he went to preschool at 2.

DH is self employed running his own business and there have been various crises in the last couple of months which have led to his income being reduced. My supply of work is far more stable and I'm regularly turning work down, so it makes sense for me to go back to work for more hours. Problems with DH's income now mean that our finances are stretched to capacity.

I'm finding working from home and looking after DS horribly tiring and unsustainable. My DH and I have agreed this evening that the best solution financially and for me to regain some sanity is for him to look after DS one full day a week and to get an additional 15 hours childcare so that I can work more. I'm really excited about the chance to focus a bit more on my career.

My concern is that DS is a very reserved baby and anxious if I leave him for any time at all, even with DH. He's also nervous around other babies. I'm feeling really worried about leaving him with a CM even though I can see that it will probably be good for him to learn that it's okay to be apart from me for a bit. I also feel guilty for wanting some child free time, although I know I shouldn't.

I'd be so grateful if anyone who has a clingy baby could share their positive experiences of starting childcare, and any tips for making the transition easier on DS. A childminder is probably the best option for us financially and because there is a CM locally who I really like.

My LO was not exactly clingy, but had never been left with anyone other than DH or I when I went back to work at 11 months. He had never really been to many baby groups etc either so wasn’t used to being around other kids. We chose to send him to a small nursery that very much has a ‘home from home’ ethos and he has LOVED it! He does 3 full days and 5 months on doesn’t even look back to wave goodbye when DH drops him off! One of the reasons we chose it was because of their good settling in process and I think this made a huge difference.

That's brilliant, thank you so much. I've been thinking about it more and I think it would be a good idea to look at nurseries too.

My DD isn’t clingy but I do have experience of my best friends little girl. She is a very sensitive little soul, very quiet & was as a baby very attached to mum. My friend was so worried about nursery but was going back to work 4 days a week. Her little one was therefore doing nursery 3 days a week and Granny once a week from 12 months.

The first couple months, every drop off had a very upset child & she’d be upset from getting in the car to go! However, nursery would send photos of her playing & smiling and totally fine once they’d got her settled. Which she was so grateful for. But the sobbing really got my friend down. What often worked better was Daddy taking her rather than mum, def less tears! But eventually, the tears stopped & she started running in to give her key worker a big hug and would go off playing no bother! They’ve had no issues since (now almost 3). She is much more confident around other adults & will run off & play independently with my little girl & our other friends children happily. She’s still a quiet & sensitive girl, certainly compared to my overly independent one but nursery I suspect has done her the world of good!

It will be absolutely fine. Both mine started between 9-11 months. Dc1 has never slept anywhere but in a sling on me, and dc2 was bf and had never taken a bottle or milk from a cup. Both adjusted no problem and have loved nursery. It’s been wonderful for me to have a good balance between work and family too.

This is really encouraging. Thank you so much. I'm definitely ready for it now!