Hi ,
I need to discuss this topic as it bugs me a lot. Before I start I need to address that Im writing about DA from the women and childs view and I'm fully aware that males can be abused too and also all cases are different so this may only apply to some people.
So I see women and children who have done the right thing by reporting domestic abuse then put under interrigation and placed on orders , which say they are on them because their at risk from the perp . The mothers are made to endure interviews , risk assessments, disempowered by being told they failed to protect their children, told these men could kill them and are traumatised afterward. Some lose their children. Some of these women then find out in the future that the perp has another child or children and resumes a normal life around children (let's say relations) with no involvement from social services and they can stay around their new child. How can a perp be deemed such high risk around a certain women with children yet continues around other children in the future and therefore is given the right to lead a normal life while the victim has to prove they can protect their children ?. Also what I see is women who report DA in their lives more than once , are made to feel that it's their fault for getting into more than one relationship with DA . Now we all know how perps dont show signs at the beginning ( it's not like women say "hey hes a knob I'll be with him" ) and it only starts to show as time goes on and many women DO start to recognise it. Many then choose to leave and then an incident occurs ( because leaving can be the time you are most vulnerable ) but if they then report that incident ...they get social services running in with their "failing to protect slogan.." . I feel this is sending the wrong message about reporting abuse and that it gives the message you either stay quiet and endure the abuse or report it and have you and your children put on CP or worse . The mother is then monitored and has an SW then scrutinizing their parenting. This is confusing for families because actually it was the action of the perp not their parenting that caused the plan to be put on them . Ive also noticed it depends on an SW's subjective view on DA ...some are empathetic and approach mothers and children in a supportive way HOWEVER some walk in and look at the mother as the issue while ignoring the perp ( who has an EQUAL responsibility to ensure their child is not at risk) not just mothers. I feel this discourages people from reporting abuse and I'd like to hear others experiences of this and your views .
Now I know social services have a duty to ensure the child isnt at risk , however is this really the way that this should be handled when it comes to DA?
Please share your thoughts / experiences and thoughts about how sw's could improve their practice in a way that empowers the victims instead of placing blame.