End of my tether but really struggling with mine and dd's relationship!!

[busymum1985]

Hi everyone,

I have 6 children and we all get on great. But am really struggling with the relationship with my 2nd eldest! I feel awful saying this but she has always been such hard work!!
She is horrid to all of her little sisters and brothers, tripping them up biting them nipping and hitting them 😞
She constantly lies about everything big and small,she's sneaky! She purposefully ignores anything she may be asked to do, unless she gets something out of it! She has also stole in the past too!
I really don't know why she is like this and has always been like this so not a gradual thing! 😞
I am really struggling and I just don't know what to do. I have tried talking to her she's fine for half a day then back to it!
Iv tried punishment she's not reslly bothered it doesn't stop her doing it again!
She can be told everyday not to do something and still does it, her excuse i forgot!' 😢😢 it's so draining

Please any advice!
Is it me 😫😢😢😢

How old is she?

She is probably wanting more one to one input from you and resentful of her siblings. Hopefully you can shift your mindset towards her more positivity and set aside some time to bond with her more closely on an individual basis. Remember she didn't choose the large family, you did. Sorry if that is harsh. But I've worked with so many young people who crave input from their parents which isn't always diluted by siblings.

How old are you kids. Roughly if you want to keep things vague?

She is 10, and she has one older at 12 then a brother who is 6 and twin sisters who are 4 and the youngest who is 3.
I understand she didn't choose a large family but was always keen on us having more and more and she g she resents ok but surely that's not an excuse to bite them hit them kick them etc,
I do spend one to one time with her I do with all of them and it seems to make her worse after it I don't know why? X

How on earth can a young child be “keen” on having so many siblings. If you asked her of course she would say yes as there would have been no real understanding what it meant.

You need to stop labelling her as the naughty one. Perhaps read up on love bombing.

All the advice you need is here OP but it's whether you choose to act on it. If you continue with this mindset you run a great risk of her getting more alienated as she gets older. Like another poster said the love bombing is needed. But it has to be done sincerely not half heartedly. At the moment you have labelled her which allows you to psychologically distance yourself. she will know and feel that and is responding accordingly.

Sounds like she's not getting something she needs: attention, time, quiet environment, love, help with school work etc etc. Try and find out what that thing is.