I hate mornings

[Cafeechaos]

My circumstances are changing which means I will have to do wake-ups and breakfasts alone in the mornings. I am very lucky that up to now, both DH and I have been at home until we leave the house in the mornings to drop off DCs and go to work.

After breastfeeding DC2,I usually get myself into the shower at ariund 6am and DH sees to DCs (after a bit of Peppa in bed) whilst I get myself ready,we then swap over as they are eating breakfast and I do teeth, hair, school bags, coats on and out of the house. By this time, I am fully awake and functioning.
This week, having done 2 mornings completely on my own, I have felt like a train wreck. This morning, I am physically shaking.
DC2 wakes at around 5.30.am for breastmilk (20 months old) so there is no waking before him to get a bit of "me time." He will feed for as long as I am lying next to him so despite trying to have a calm hour in bed, he was on and off my nipples for a whole hour, making them sore and screams everytime my boob falls away from his mouth. He doesn't feed at all during the day, just mornings and bed time.
DC1 wakes at 6.30 am and is hyperactive- being investigated for ADHD. She wants to talk, sing, play with loud toys, ask loads of questions and jump on the bed.
DC2 is a bit volatile and clingy so as soon as DC1 enters the bedroom, he becomes jealous and begins pinching his sister if she wants a cuddle or even comes too close to me.
Breakfast time is a miserable experience of a very particular DC1 about which bowl and spoon she has, how her cereal is laid out, where she sits and she wants to ask me a million questions in a loud voice whilst DC2 climbs out of his highchair and on to the table, screams if he's strapped in and falls off chairs if I sit him at the normal table.
I have shouted "shuutt uuupp" this morning and now I'm sat in the kitchen crying into me tea whilst they watch peppa pig/ play on the I-pad.
DH seems to be much more tolerant than me, or appears to be, he actually has a lot of nervous energy in the mornings, although he would deny it. He paces the kitchen- now I know why.

I will still need to do drop offs etc in the mormings so I won't get any time to myself to get ready etc,unless they are downstairs for 30 minutes watching TV whilst I am upstairs.

How do others get themselves ready each morning?
What do you do in the mornings?
How do you cope when you are someone who needs a bit of quiet?
What is your routine?

Help!

Could you start training the younger one to wake up later. We had a gro clock at about that age to teach them when was an acceptable wake up time, as 5.30 is way too early (for me anyway). He is also old enough to start being taught some boundaries e.g. you must be strapped in in the high chair. You could work on this over a weekend when you and DH are both there to share the stress.
Will they sit for 30 minutes and watch TV while you're upstairs. If you're sure they can be trusted I dont see a problem with doing that.

I'm not very helpful sorry as I also hate mornings and have lost it with my older DC a few times. Mine are just turned 4 and 10 months, and I find it all really stressful. It's the silver lining of going back to work soon, I'll only have to do the nursery run twice a week!

What I do find helpful is I get older DC dressed as soon as possible. I'm still in pjs at this point, but it's such a pinch point of bad behaviour for him so to get it over and done with works well. He's then free to play while I shower (with bathroom door open). DC2 is also high maintenance so I end up just distracting him with various toys / wires / anything I can while I do hair and quick make up (light foundation, mascara!) and get dressed. Takes less than half an hour to shower/hair and make up/dress myself (I never wash my hair in the morning).

I know what time we have to be downstairs for DC1 to have enough time to eat breakfast etc so I make sure we stick to that (setting an alarm could help?). I then tend to dress/nappy change the baby while DC1 is eating. I never have breakfast myself until after the school run (easy for me though as I'm on maternity leave still - can you eat in work? If not, I say just grab a banana/coffee to go flask).

I then know what time we have to leave too so make sure we're making our way to the hall to get coat/shoes on 10 minutes before, as DC1 is a piss taker / faffer. Again alarms help, either set them all on your phone the night before, or use google home/Alexa if you have it. My DC1 listens to Alexa more than to me!

You have my utmost sympathy though as I'm not a particular quiet seeking person, but my god the mornings with my ultra loud and annoying DC make me want to bash my head against a wall. My DC1 is really loud and full on too, I suspect he may not be quite 100% neurotypical either although I think he's too young to tell and it could just be my low tolerance!

Just to add, as you're both working, is it possible to have some kind of childcare/wraparound/breakfast club just one or two days a week? That will make it seem less relentless.

How old is your eldest? Do they need to be having breakfast at home? Can you possibly take the DC into school or nursery any early so they can have breakfast there?
It's one job less to do then? What time do you have to leave? I didn't BF and when my DC were that age I was just giving them a sippy cup of milk they could have themselves. I know it's comfort and all of that, but removing the BF gives you chance to get yourself ready while DC2 has their milk.

Honestly, if 30 minutes watching telly works for everyone and keeps you sane then do it.

I do mornings on my own. DH leaves for work at 6am when I'm getting up. I get myself ready and then the DC (6 and 4) get up at 7am. My eldest is bloody hard work in the mornings, constantly talking etc. Also being tested for ADHD at the moment. I just had to get used to getting ready with him being there really. He does get up early some mornings but can generally entertain himself while I put my make up on. They fart about for a bit, we have breakfast 7.30 - 8am, 8-8.30am they get dressed, teeth brushed, fart about and we leave for school. Routine is a big thing for my eldest and I actually have timers set on my phone, so he knows when it beeps what the next job is.

I do have the advantage of working flexi time. So days when I'm tired and CBA, I just drag myself up at 7am and get my make up on etc after I've taken them to school and I go in later.

It does get easier. I used to find mornings so stressful when they were little (and I didn't even need to go to work in the morning then!). Once they get older and into the routine, it is much easier.

I have resorted to showering in the evening. Then in the mornings I spend 5 minutes in the bathroom getting dressed, freshening up and doing make up. Once I've got myself sorted I do breakfast, get them dressed, and then they plonk themselves in the living room playing or watching tv while I tidy up the kitchen and make the beds, etc.

Mornings are horrible, OP. They are just horrible. I long for the day when they are old enough to sort themselves out!

I have 3 DC, 2 school age and youngest is 15 months and most days have to get them up and ready for school myself (on the days I don't work P/T).

It's grim OP I totally agree. I work very early so am up and out of the door usually before they wake up on the days I work and those mornings are bliss in comparison! It's a tough job but you just have to find a routine that works for you.

I gave up trying to shower in the morning. I shower/bath in the evening instead. The older two get up at 7am every morning without fail so they are up and have breakfast straight away. Baby usually wakes between 7 and 7.30 so he gets dressed and then goes in his Highchair for breakfast where I will then help DDs get dressed and do hair. Once he has finished breakfast I keep him in his Highchair and put the TV on and go up and get myself ready.

I'm wary of suggesting this but would dropping the breastfeeding have any effect? I'm sure others would know. We've recently dropped formula for 13mo DS and he is already sleeping better. I know it's not the same, just a theory!