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How many years between your 1st and 2nd child?

37 replies

Lsquiggles · 09/01/2020 11:12

My DD is almost 7 months old and ideally we'd like another by the time she's 2.5/3. Am i mad to want a newborn when we'll have a terrible two? Grin How many years are between your first and second child?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
dementedpixie · 09/01/2020 11:13

Dd turned 3 the month after ds was born. She used to help with him and get me nappies and wipes and other things

kmammamalto · 09/01/2020 11:16

DD was born the month after DS turned three and has been great! Even with potty training and other big developments! He's been lovely. Now I want number 3 asap! 😅must be mad

milliefiori · 09/01/2020 11:17

1 minute! Grin Twins.

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Pipandmum · 09/01/2020 11:20

20 months. I think it's good to have a year between them schoolwise (so Y1 and Y3 for example), speaking as someone who had an overacheiving sister in the year above... too much of a gap and their interests and stages too diverse.

hazeyjane · 09/01/2020 11:22

I year

MrsHusky · 09/01/2020 11:22

There is exactly 2.5yrs between my two.

TBH, it wasn't bad, the only time I really struggled was when my oldest decided they didnt want to sleep/settle and I was having to do the 'gradual withdrawal' thing from their room while very pregnant.

Sitting on a bedroom floor and inching out every night wasn't much fun XD

But then my oldest was ready for the free 15hrs of nursery by the time the youngest was 6mo so it balanced out and gave me some time with the little one just when they started crawling!

0htooooodles · 09/01/2020 11:23

5 years!

1Bobbinwinder · 09/01/2020 11:24

2 years 2 months. It's been fine. But I think honestly so much is unpredictable...what your first is like, temperament of the second, family support etc.

Seems to me about 2 years is the norm for gaps where I am

nicslackey · 09/01/2020 11:24

24 years and counting lol!!!

HulksPurplePanties · 09/01/2020 11:25

20 months. They're one year apart in school and hang out in the same friends groups, etc. I've found it a great age gap.

YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 09/01/2020 11:25

Less than 1. Dd1 born end of January, ds1 born middle of January the following year

jennymac31 · 09/01/2020 11:31

4 years 1 month between DD (age 6) and DS (age 2). We had always intended for this age gap and it has been working well so far

Whynosnowyet · 09/01/2020 11:33

2 years 9 months between 1 and 2.
14 months between 3 and 4..

eldeeno · 09/01/2020 11:44

3 years for us and it's the perfect gap.

DC1 was old enough to help, out of nappies and getting the free childcare (to give me time with DC2) when they were little. Old enough to be out of a pushchair and not to have the stress of two babies at once. Also only had to pay for one child to go through nursery at a time.

But, 3 years is still close enough in age that they have always played together. It helps that they have the same interests and hobbies. But they truly are best friends. Even now as teenagers, they still had 3 sleepovers together over the Christmas holidays.

Also, 3 years is enough of a difference so that Uber competitive DC1 doesn't compete with DC2. I personally think if they were any closer in age it would disastrous because they would compete all the time. As it is. We just had it for major things like their SATs. DD2 beat DD1 by one sub level in one sat, and boy was DD1 not happy. Thankfully though, with three school years between them, DD1 doesn't compete too much with her younger sister because they are at different stages.

But, where I'm really seeing the benefit is now, the teenage years. I've only got one going through exams, and can focus time more on DD1 as DD2 is year 8, and doesn't need as much time / support help etc at the moment. I couldn't imagine trying to support two teenagers through GCSEs and first year A levels at the same time! Thankfully by the time DD2 is doing her GCSEs, DD1 will be at uni. And thinking further ahead, DD1 will have finished uni by the time I have got to pay for DD2.

Things I didn't consider when I had my children, but in hindsight, I'm very pleased about now.

WaxOnFeckOff · 09/01/2020 11:45

13 months.

AppropriateAdult · 09/01/2020 11:49

3.5 years. I’d highly recommend it. DD was already in preschool when DS arrived, there was minimal sibling jealousy and now at 6 and 2.5 they play together really well.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 09/01/2020 11:53

20 months. Worked well for us. DD1 was too young to get jealous- loved her little sister from day 1. Theyve grown up together (6&8 now)- they can do all the 'big' things together, like Disneyland. Two year gap at school so they don't end up in the same group there. I was still in baby stage when DD2 was born, so she just fitted in with baby/toddler groups etc

Massive downside... Childcare costs meant it was uneconomical for me to work.

Coffeeandtv1983 · 09/01/2020 11:59

2 years 4 months between my two boys. Not been too bad and they are now starting to play together more and more. Ideally I would have waited til DS1 was three as he would have been going to preschool/getting free hours by then which would’ve helped enormously when I was struggling on maternity leave.

HairyToity · 09/01/2020 12:00

4 years and it works for us. Smile

Eloisedublin123 · 09/01/2020 12:02

14years 😂

SaintGarbo · 09/01/2020 12:03

14 years. Perfect for me. No double childcare/school or university costs.

Wineandchoccy · 09/01/2020 12:05

3 years 10 months it’s been a lovely age gap so far.
DD1 is old enough to help, no jealousy, started school when DD2 was 6 months old so nice to be able to be on mat leave for that plus nice to have some one to one with the baby whilst she is at school

Jumpingforgin · 09/01/2020 12:09

Exactly 2.5 years, and it's been great for us! Wasn't planned that way (wanted to wait longer if at all for a second) but it's worked out fantastic. First ear was a learning curve for us all, but now they're a bit older they play together wonderfully and have a really great close bond. Dc1 started reception last year, and it broken my heart seeing how sad dc2 has been missing them 😔. Last year I had them both home pretty much full time (bar a couple of pre school days) and I can honestly say it was the best year of my life, we made the most of the summer with lots of wonderful days out and holidays, stayed up late with no worry of it being a school night, and I watched the bond between my babies blossom. They joy they've given me and each other is immeasurable, and I miss having both my babies at home with me in the week. I will forever look back on that speical time with fond memories. If I could do it differently, I would have had dc2 sooner and then had a 3rd so they were all under 5. We will stick with 2 now, as life just works for us like this. Having 2 toddlers/preschoolers is ace and I would do it all again in a heartbeat if I could.

Gillian1980 · 09/01/2020 15:41

3 years and 8 months. We planned it so that we wouldn’t have 2 lots of nursery fees at the same time. I’ve been on maternity leave for dd’s first year of school which has been great.

I would have preferred 2 years really but it wasn’t financially viable. So hard getting right past the toddler years then starting from scratch again!

teenagetantrums · 09/01/2020 15:49

2 and half years. Was perfect. First one was out of nappies. In a bed and walking most places. So need for two cots or a double buggy. Also he was able to understand the baby needed attention and sometimes he had to wait.
Was nice to spend some time with him while l was on maternity leave. But still kept him at nursery 3days a week to keep his place and give me time with baby.
They were also close enough in age to play together after a few years.

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