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help me with my destructive 2 year old - am losing the plot

5 replies

JoshandJamie · 28/08/2007 18:44

My DS will be two in about 2 weks time (if I don't throttle him first). I know all 2 year olds are curious and it's a parents job to childproof a house, put valuables etc out of reach. But my son has some kind of superpower ability to destroy things in nano-seconds.

At the moment we're staying at a friend's house while they're away as our house was flooded. They have kids (slightly older) so you'd think things are pretty child friendly. But so far in the 10 days we've been here, my son has:

  • smashed a White Company candle (value - £45, just ordered a replacement)
  • ripped the covers and broken the boxes of 6 videos
  • ripped at least 5 lovely pop up books
  • ruined all the make up in my make up bag and in the process covered himself in 3 lipsticks which he then got all over the carpet and bedding (incidentally, what is the best way to get lipstick out of bedding?)
  • has peed on the carpeted floors about 5 times (can't really blame him as he's only just potty trained and he is going through disruption in his life)
  • just smashed my laptop and broke three keys off it
  • dropped a snowglobe and broke it
  • broke a plastic garden chair
  • opened a bottle of Johnson's Baby bath onto the lounge carpet
  • ripped a model paper ship to bits
  • Picking all the fruit off their fruit trees and putting it in their composting bin
  • general mess with food and toys constantly
  • irritating things like pulling towels off the rails when I've just hung them up or unrolling the toilet roll till its all in a pile on the floor

I am at my wits end with him and find myself constantly shouting. I do try to give him attention - admittedly, he doesn't get it all the time for example, while I cook dinner or try to take a shower myself. But he can destroy things in the blink of an eye. I don't know how to make him realise that curiousity is one thing. Complete destruction is quite another.

I thought living in a building site/flood ridden house with two young boys was stressful. That was NOTHING compared to the constant monitoring to make sure he doesn't destroy any more of our friends' stuff. I feel awful. They've been really kind letting us stay here and there is a list a mile long of stuff we need to replace, some of which I'm not sure we can.

Sigh. Help.

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domesticgrumpess · 28/08/2007 19:13

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ebaldy · 28/08/2007 19:21

My DS1 was the same never thought he would get to his third birthday he has just turned 6. Now i have the same problems with DS2 he is only 20mths and I sometimes wonder if he will see 2. He has learnt so much more than my DS1 ever did even to the point of if I move something out of his reach he moves a chair to get it down, crafty whatsit! The only thing I can offer to you when we moved house recently my DS2 went on a distructive mode runing videos and DVDs, pulling the fire apart etc and he finally stopped doing it.
I wonder if it is just their way of saying you've moved me and I don't understand why so I am going to reck the place to get your attention. I know not very helpful and just remember he is not the only one to have done this and I am sure your friend already having kids will understand.

JoshandJamie · 28/08/2007 19:22

OOh domesticgrumpess, I shall have to try the mary poppins on valium demeanour - it has to be better than evil screaming fishwife mummy. You must have the patience of a saint. Am definitely up for a 'trying not to murder our toddlers' support group.

My DH has actually just had to come take over having just walked through the door from work, as the little bugger completely trashed the bathroom by splashing as much water as he could everywhere (great fun I'm sure for a 2 year old but not so fun for mummy who has to clean it up - again) and he charged through the piles of folded laundry so that they now have to be refolded. Then proceeded to break a puppet and pull a pile of toys out so they scattered all over the floor - all in the 2 minutes between getting out of the bath and into his pjs.

I need more than a glass of wine

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JoshandJamie · 28/08/2007 19:36

ebaldy - i'm sure you're right. There has been a lot going on his life so I understand why he's behaving like this - but I don't know how to stop it or handle it well. Honestly, I feel like I can say something till I'm blue in the face and it's just ignored (by both sons) and only when it becomes a loud shout do they seem to register that I'm even there.

I've tried the positive: let's touch this instead or moving him away - probably not enough or consistently enough but it's like I'd move him away from one thing only to have him destroy the next thing.

God I feel weary

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domesticgrumpess · 28/08/2007 19:37

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