Currently typing this from the chair next to my 12 week old baby girls hospital bed and looking for a bit of reassurance from someone who isn’t my DP or DM.
I initially EBF my LO and after a couple of months introduced the odd bottle with the vision of slowly transitioning. I decided earlier today that I would invest in one of those bottle making machines and up the amount of bottles I was giving her as, up until now I was using the premixed milk however it is very expensive and not sustainable for us if she is having more frequent bottles. I went to ASDA this afternoon but they did not have the machine in stock and so, I just purchased some of the formula powder and decided to buy online instead.
When I got home and LO woke from her nap I decided to give the powder a try. She started to cry and without thinking, I picked her up and attempted to settle her whilst I continued making the bottle. I had already poured the water into the bottle and just had to put the formula in and cool it down. I hadn’t made a bottle up before but, I know that you should not pick your baby up whilst dealing with hot liquids. I was so stupid and whilst putting the formula in the bottle I knocked the bottle over and covered myself in the hot water and my baby girls bare leg. I immediately put her in the sink and hosed her down with cold water and as I did this, the skin started to move on the top of her foot and eventually came away. I was devastated and called 999 immediately. The paramedic was there within minutes and he called an ambulance to take her to hospital (they were 30 minutes) I had given her calpol and nurofen and breastfed her which settled her completely and she had a little nap before waking up and smiling away at everyone. She seemed fine and everyone told me I did everything I was supposed to do but I am heartbroken. Her screams after the water hit her foot will ring in my ears forever 😢
We were at the hospital 3 hours before they assessed her and she was cooing away and charming all of the staff and passers by whilst we listened to their conversations about how no one wanted to take her on due to her age etc and how busy they were. Eventually they told us that we needed to travel an hour to a hospital with a Pediatric burns unit to be assessed and for the wound to be dressed properly.
The second hospital saw her immediately, cleaned and dressed the wound and told us that this was classed as a medium dermal burn which means it was only the first layer of skin and whilst it wasn’t superficial, it wasn’t deep. They were concerned that the wound looked wet and said if it were to weep and leak, we would have to come back and so, to be on the safe side asked if we would stay and wait to see the consultant at 9am.
So here I am at 2:45am sat staring at her whilst her and her dad are fast asleep.
Everyone keeps telling me this is a common mistake and it was an accident etc but I can’t believe I was so stupid. Why didn’t I just breast feed her if she was crying? What if it went on her face or in her eyes?
I feel sick with guilt and worry even though I know she is alright.
Sorry for the essay, I think I am just killing some time and emptying out my thoughts as, I don’t think my close family and friends will get it and I’m hoping someone else on here might be able to relate to me somehow?
If you have made it this far... thank you for “listening” x