Losing my mind about room temperature!!

[BethanyJade4]

Hi everyone! I had my first baby 11 days ago and I literally feel like I’m going mad with worrying about the room temperature in our house! Me and baby stayed in hospital for a few days as I had an infection and the room we were in was soooo uncomfortably warm ( even the hospital staff were commenting about the heat in my room) so I only had one blanket on baby as I thought he would be warm enough but when the midwife took his temp it was a little bit low despite her saying he actually felt sweaty?! So we basically got told off and made to put two thick blankets back on him. Ever since we came home I’ve kept on top of the thermostat making sure the temp stays between 18 and 20 ( as advised by midwives) and only have a cellular blanket over him ( as I was told the blanket I had on him at home was too thick and actually the equivalent of 4 blankets apparently) but I worry because the room just feels quite cold to me and his dad however his neck and belly always feel warm. Yesterday I took his temperature with an ear thermometer and it was 35.7!!!! Which sent me into a spin because according to the internet that’s hypothermic! However at the time of this low temp his tummy, neck and head were really warm?

Please please somebody help me before I lose my mind!!! Does any body else’s baby have a low temp with thermometer but actually feel warm? And is it ok for the room to feel chilly to me as long as baby is warm? My boyfriend says the midwife told us to just maintain the 19 degree temperature and add an extra layer to ourselves if we feel cold but I don’t remember her saying this because I can’t focus on anything through being a nervous wreck about the temperature!!! Xxx

Hi OP, firstly, congratulations with your new baby! How many layers does your baby have on? Is your baby awake and feeding as normal or is there anything else about his behaviour that worries you? I remember the room should be between 18-20C so it sounds about right to me. My DC1 was always cold, he would get sweaty/clammy if he was cold. dC2 was always hot, he didn't sweat. I would dress mine in a long sleeve bodysuit, onesie and then swaddle and that seems to work for most days. If you're that worrie, perhaps is a good idea to have a chat with your HV when you next see her.

I think the 18-20 degrees is when they’re asleep esp overnight when you’re also asleep, as overheating is a contributing factor to SIDS. In the day I’d find that too cold. General rule of thumb is that in the day the baby should be wearing one more layer than you (not one less!) unless it’s super hot. If the skin on his chest/back feels ok that’s a good measure of whether he’s the right temperature. I think if he was cold he’d be crying - it’s too hot which is dangerous as they just go in to a deep sleep.

I think you need to speak to someone, as this doesn't sound like a healthy level of anxiety.

In ear thermometers for home use are notoriously inaccurate and are very difficult to use properly with newborns.

Our house was always colder than the recommended temperature quite a bit. We just put lots of blanketsOn her (I won't recommend that as I know it's not safe advice)
But our health visitor and midwife always told us to feel her chest as an indicator so that's what we always did. And she was always warm enough when it was cooler than the recommended temperatures

What is baby wearing? In January I'd probably have a newborn in a long sleeved vest plus a sleepsuit with a cellular blanket or two over/round them. Or a short sleeved vest plus a sleepsuit and a thinish cardigan.

The early days are so anxiety inducing! It's really hard. You sound like you're doing a great job. If you carry on feeling very anxious then do mention it to your midwife.

Hi thanks you all for your replies!
At night time he wears a short sleeved vest a sleep suit and the cellular blanket ( over him once not folded over) he does always feel warm when I touch his belly... which is a lot and during the day he wears a short sleeved vest under neath his clothes and again the cellular blanket - does the short sleeved vest count as the extra layer of clothing? I assumed it did? I’ve been keeping the temp between 18-20 during the day as well is this not necessary? I do understand the logic behind the fact that at night time he can’t be monitored 24/7 to check for over heating but I had just been told 18-20 so that’s what I’ve been sticking to even though it feels cold to me and his dad!
I know my level of anxiety is not normal But I feel that because I’ve been told so many different things that is what is causing me to panic! 2 midwives in the hospital told me it’s not necessary to keep the hat on him but then his temp dropped and the midwife told me he absolutely must have it on! So that caused confusion then when we were getting discharged the midwife told me if I feel it is chilly in our house to put a hat on him but then the midwives that have been to visit me since have told me absolutely do not put a hat on him indoors! Everything im being told is constantly contradicted I don’t know whether I’m coming or going! Xx

Congratulations on your new baby!

Oh gosh I remember those early days of worrying about my newborn's temperature. He was born during a heatwave and no matter what I did I could not get the room temperature below 28 degrees. I had sweat pouring off me it was so hot at night and I got myself completely worked up over my baby's temperature. I also had one of those room thermometers that turns different colours depending on whether it's too cold/warm/just right, and it just shone red constantly. In the end I switched that bloody thing off because it was stressing me out so much.

I think the best thing to do for now is to stop taking your baby's temperature/get rid of any room thermometers because it is making you second guess yourself constantly and amplifying your worry. You will then start realising yourself what's right and what's not when it comes to temperature.

As a rule your baby needs one extra later than what you would need. So if you're just in a t-shirt then baby would need the same plus a cardigan for example. Touch your baby's chest and back to check temperature. If it feels hot or cold then you will know that you need more/less layers or covers. Face, hands, neck etc can be deceiving when it comes to heat.

I promise you it will get easier.

If it was important it would be more consistent. If a degree or 2 had a big health impact the studies would show it an health professionals would give consistent advice. Like 'Back to Sleep'. When mine were little we were advised front to sleep, studies showed this was less safe and now it's consistently 'back to sleep' however, even then, most babies survived.

So long as you don't have extremes, he will get used to whatever temperature you like. Around 18 is good at night but during the day a bit warmer won't hurt, just leave a blanket off if he seems to be too warm.

Definitely dont let baby sleep with a hat on. They can overheat as heat is lost through the head. Plus there is a risk that it could end up over their face when sleeping and pose a suffocation risk.

He shouldn't sleep unsupervised with a hat on in case it slips over his face and mouth. Even when they're older it's no hoods or hats sleeping unsupervised. In order to know how warm baby is, put your hand on his chest. Use your common sense - does he feel too warm or does he feel normal cosy skin temperature or does he feel cold? And act accordingly. Please don't drive yourself mad. Remember he's just a small human, nothing more, nothing less. He's not glass, he's not hyper sensitive and he will be absolutely fine. You sound a great mum, and I agree that mixed advice is frustrating. But unfortunately that doesn't stop for the next 18 years so find some confidence in your own judgement because you're his mum and you know him best. Listen to all the advice then make an informed decision of your own opinion.

Thankyou I feel much more at ease from everyone’s replies I wish I’d have posted sooner! What’s everyone’s opinions on what to wear in a car seat? We have a 40 min drive coming up in the next 6 weeks I was thinking long sleeved vest his clothes, cardigan and blanket? Is this ok or would anyone recommend otherwise xx

AGain, in the car seat I’d go one more layer than you, I think car seat itself counts as a layer though? Sounds weird but they’re very enclosed and it’s warm fabric! Remember never a coat in a car seat (dangerous in the event of an accident), I’d prob put him what you said with a blanket over him over the top of the straps, then you can remove the blanket easily if he gets warm. If there’s 2 of you in the car one could go in the back to keep an eye on him, that’s we did when ours was tiny.

Thanks so much for helping me I’ve got clearer answers from all of you than when I’ve asked the midwives so now maybe I can relax and stop being a mad woman! My boyfriend will definitely appreciate it as I’ve been driving him up the wall with all of my worrying! Xxx

I remember being the same with my first baby. I felt much happier after buying a baby sleeping bag ( grobag brand ) which gave info on how many layers babies should have with each Tog bag at a specific temperature. This was 16 years ago but would recommend.

I was exactly the same in the early days, except my worry was it was too hot (thermometer said 21 degrees, not 18-20!!) until my husband pointed out it was WAY hotter on the ward we’d been on after birth, and that babies in hot countries manage to survive, so April in Britain probably wasn’t going to give our daughter heatstroke.

I agree about the sleeping bags instead of blankets, the tog rating helped me relax, alongside the little table showing what they should wear for bed at each temperature. They have to be a minimum size (around 8/9lb) to use these but once he’s that big def get them. So much easier than blankets esp once they start moving round their cot!!

Glad you're feeling much better with pp's advice!

A good resource to use is the Lullaby Trust, they have lots of useful info on their website.

Also i could never get an in ear thermometer to work properly on my daughter, and i use them every day for work! If you're baby was hypothermic they would have felt cold to the touch.

You can fold a cellular blanket over and use it doubled, you just need to remember that it then counts as two layers. If baby was in vest, sleep suit and single layer of blanket and felt cold then I would double it over and recheck temp after a little while. Never let a baby sleep in a hat as pp's have said.

I wouldn't overdress baby for the car, vest + sleep suit + thin cardigan or blanket sounds fine as you will likely have the heating on in the car anyway.

Don't stress too much, sounds like you're doing a fab job!

I also loved the gro bags / baby sleep
Bags for ease of knowing what baby should be wearing and not worrying about blankets. The hospital I had DD at (2016) were anti swaddling so DD went straight into a sleep sack.

Congratulations on your new born 

I was also going to suggest using gro bags/baby sleeping bags. Takes a lot of the guess work out. With both of my children I've been quite panicky about room temperatures and things in the early days. You can google it and there are some great images/charts that make temperature/bedding recommendations.

DS is only 7 weeks so I'm no expert but I found this useful.

I live in a hot flat, it never goes below 22 and is often 24. In summer it was 28/30 degrees and I had a small baby! I just stay vigilant to him... And remove blanket if needed. Right now he is just in a sleepsuit as he felt warm. What you're doing sounds totally fine but you might feel more at ease with the sleeping bags

Yes when my house was cold and she was big enough for a sleeping bag we just put her in the right tog. It took her months to get to that weight though so we did use quite a few blankets for ages

Just briefly want to touch on the use of an ear thermometer; for a layperson they’re surprising difficult to get an accurate read from especially with the teeny tiny rat canals of a new born so I wouldn’t get yourself too fraught about using one to monitor little ones temperature

I have a 2.5 tog sleeping bag but have found lots of different things online in regards to what to wear underneath and also my baby only currently weighs 6lb 5 oz so he’s way off being able to go in that just yet but I definitely will use it when he’s big enough! :)
I did start to question the accuracy of the ear thermometer and ordered an under arm thermometer so that I can get a better reading of his temp... only now I’ll probably just use it as and when instead of constantly checking his temp and I’ll just carry on going off the feel of his chest and tummy! Xxx

Another one recommending a sleeping bag if baby is big enough for the minimum weight. Took the worry away for me in our draughty house. DS often had cold hands but was nice and warm inside the bag.

Gro bags when dc is a little bigger were great.
I also liked the egg as it was easy to check room temps throughout the night.
I strongly suspect I worried more than I needed to though!