Invisible

[life2day]

Is it me or am I invisible or expecting too much. I do all the cleaning, raise 2 kids under 6 and work. And no I am not a single mum. Take for instance the other day- I was working at home - I had the kids home and the husband. Got up sorted kids out whilst logging on - gave them breakfast, put washing on. Still working and in between calls. Entertaining kids and hoovering. Still working on spreadsheets and reports for work is in between. Husbands in bed. Kids watching tv now so get head down whilst hoover still out to make work calls. Husband comes down .. walks past hoover and gets breakfast. Goes back to lie down. I finish hoovering - gets kids lunch. Tidy up. Kids got club. Is it wrong to expect him to take them. Argument as he is busy. I take kids. Still got my report to finish. Was I just taken for a mug then. Am I expecting to much for husband to do anything related to house kids etc. If he does it becomes a big song and dance. I helped the child. Well hooray you are their father.

Sounds like you need a serious discussion with hour "D"H about the time you need to work and what he should be doing while you do work.

You really can’t think this normal?! Is your husband OK? Why is he in bed all day?!

If I’m working at home & my OH isn’t working, he has full childcare responsibilities. For example, we split childcare on Thursday, I work in the morning & he the afternoon. He takes our daughter to softplay, the park etc, plays with her, feeds her & sorts out naps. I then take over.

Even when we aren’t working, we equally split childcare. We are a team, we work around each other. We take it in turns to get up early and the other have a lie in. We tend to spend weekends together but sometimes he’ll take DD out to give me a rest and vice versa. We split the chores. He does all the cooking, does the weekly shopping & keeps the kitchen spotless. I clean the bathrooms, hoover & do the washing.

I think you need to have a serious chat!

I wish I could. But he is so hard to talk to without him turning it around and saying most guys do nothing you lucky I am here and then shouting.

This morning he wakes up and his neck hurts. But I am not doing anything as he always pulls the strings on your heart.. does nothing gets in a huff when I say something and then gets ill or feels sad to which I will forget that I am upset with him and carry on.

Last night I was up ironing etc he was watching tv and now today he can do something. So shopping has arrived and I refuse to put it away he can. I can here him huffing and puffing.. now I feel bad as maybe I should help because his neck hurts but I just feel like I always give in.

He sounds abusive.

Agree, that sounds like an abusive relationship.

I'd ask MNHQ to move your thread over to the Relationship Section, you'll get lots of advice in there