I just don’t want to do this anymore

[TimeToChangeNameAgain]

I’m just absolutely done. I’m on my own with dc Monday-Friday, don’t really have any friends or family nearby, I’m autistic and I just can’t cope with them anymore.

All they do is break things, scream and fight constantly. I just broke down sobbing because I’ve spent nearly half an hour trying to cajole 4yo into putting his socks on and he just took them off and put them in the toilet. I screamed at him and now I’m hiding in my bedroom.

I honestly feel I could just walk away and never see them again and I’d be so much happier. I can’t do anything. They never sleep. They won’t eat anything apart from mashed potato. Every second that they’re not on screens they’re just trying to kill each other.

So sorry that you are struggling Time.

How many children do you gave and how old are they?

You need respite.
This bit of the holidays is hard No structure. Are they at school or nursery usually?
Im aspie too and feel like this regularly, but its a lot better now they are older and I get more space.

I’m aspergers too and it’s hard, especially the holidays.
I have no advice unfortunately, but just offering an understanding handhold

Boys are 7 and 4. The 7yo is normally at school and 4yo does one day and one afternoon a week.

Have you got anyone who could have them for a couple of hours this afternoon to give you a break?

Can you separate them into bedrooms and set them each a task that they will get a reward for? Or take them to a park/ field to run riot?

@TimeToChangeNameAgain

Write these down and just take each minute as it comes today.

How long until they go back? At this time of year a lot of people are feeling crap even without kids, it's the anti-climax of normal life after Xmas coupled with exhaustion. It's also that point in the holidays where kids are done with being off, they're bored they want their routine back, but of course they don't realise that!

It sounds very tough. Can you afford a babysitter perhap one evening a week to give you a bit of a break?

Are they better when outside? The holidays mean children are often inside for longer than they would be normally. Do you have a park or somewhere they can run about? Re the socks, I would just leave them off and if he is cold when outside, explain that it is because he has no socks on. (Take the socks with you and he might just put them on). At four he is able to reason cause and effect.

Some excellent advice on here already OP and this is exactly how I would have dealt with the socks Re the socks, I would just leave them off and if he is cold when outside, explain that it is because he has no socks on. (Take the socks with you and he might just put them on). At four he is able to reason cause and effect.

Get them to the park if you can. And get yourself a break if you can.

If you are on your own Monday to Friday, have you spoken to Homestart to see if they can give you some support?

If finances allow, could the younger one do more hours at preschool?

Do they only eat mashed potato when they are with you or is this their only food always?

Just some solidarity but mine are the same age pretty much and sounds like what we go through with the fighting, screaming and breaking things. I honestly thought it would be way easier now but I think it was easier when they were babies. I've taken mine to the park to let off some steam.

Family Lives have a Helpline OP, just in case you need someone to talk to

I have no advice but I'm the same - I have one DS who is 3 and I find the whole thing so overwhelming at times - he is loud, destructive and boisterous and I'm quiet, careful and calm I never realised how much I preferred solitude until I had him. I love him to bits but my god I feel suffocated sometimes.

(I do have severe mental health though, which may skewer things)

Sorry to hear you're struggling. I remember how hard it is. When mine were small I did a parenting class. TBH I only did it for the two hours free childcare that came with it as I was on my own all week with two boys and a 20month age gap
It was brilliant! Just gave some really good techniques to help you get through the crazy world of toddlerdom and early years. A lot of it was common sense but you lose the ability to be rational when your kids are mentally torturing you and each other!

Thank you all. STBXH took them out for the afternoon while I hid in bed crying and watching Netflix (good start to the new decade 😂). Feeling slightly more human now.

I’m very much looking forward to older one going back to school next week. Then I will hopefully have a bit more energy to concentrate on getting them back into their own beds. Dh and I separated a couple of months back and they seem to ha e just migrated into my bed and I haven’t had the heart to kick them out yet. It will also be nice to actually be able to clean my house. It feels filthy ever since all the new toys arrived with Christmas and it’s impossible to clean with the boys here all the time.

I’m aspie too and have 1 DS who is 9 months and I feel your pain! I feel exhausted and touched out a lot of the time. I love my DS so much but he takes it out of me. It’s hard not feeling like you’re failing sometimes.